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I remember a Focus on the Family around 5/22/06 where Bilbo Dobson and his comedy troupe screeched on and on about “moral relativism”. Apparently, it’s not only a stupid concept, but an evil one, too. You see, once you cast aside “absolute truth” you might as well start bathing in hot, burning lava to get used to the feeling since you’ll wind up in Hell. Communists believe in moral relativism. Democrats believe in it. Unitarian Universalists believe in it, too. Shit. I can smell the sulfur already.

What is absolute truth? Well…

1. God created the world in six days and the Grand Canyon was created by the flood waters receding.
2. God sent his son, Jesus, down to earth as a man so he could be killed by the Jews for our sins
3. Being gay is bad
4. If you disagree any of the above, you’ll burn in Hell

Sure, there’s a couple others, but that pretty much sums up the basic tenants of xtianity. Here’s a great example of an absolute truth via Back to Genesis put out by the Institute for Creation Research.

BTG – Why Creation

“But,” you might say to Dr. Morris, “isn’t that kind of a circular argument? Using the Bible to prove that the Bible is true? I mean, the Bible proves that the earth is the center of the universe, too, right? But you’d get laughed out of the institute for saying that. Ok. Maybe you wouldn’t because it’s yours. But you get my point.” Yes, that would be moral relativism.

If, for example, you try to argue that we should actually thank Judas for narc-ing on Jesus since otherwise we couldn’t have been saved from sin then you’re engaging in moral relativism. Similarly, if you ask about the validity of a religion started by glorifying the breaking of one its parent religion’s 10 commandments (“Thou Shalt Not Kill”), that, too, is moral relativism. But I’m being inarticulate, here. Listen to this, instead.

True For You

See? Either you have $5000 or you don’t. Either the Bible is true or you’re going to Hell.

And yet…xtians engage in moral relativism all the time. Case in point – yesterday I called up my buddies at Crosstalk to ask them to take the Anti-Socialist Teabagger pledge and refrain from using socialist services like libraries, parks, sewage facilities, electricity and eating any food that the government subsidized. However, I made two mistakes. Firstly, I stopped talking. That’s a big no-no. As soon as you stop talking you get hung up on. Secondly, I got waylaid by the fucktard going on about how welfare turned all black kids into criminals. He vomited up the lie about how rich a black women could get at the taxpayer expense by sitting on her ass having babies and before I could tell him that most recipients of welfare were white, well, I got hung up on.

Thinking they might have a thread on the Crosstalk Blog. They didn’t. But they did have a post allowing xtians to talk about how shitty Mexicans are and how their grandparent came here legally and didn’t sneak across the US/European border to here. One woman said that the Bible said nothing about immigration or illegal aliens so she could hate them all she wanted without having to ask God’s forgiveness. I was pretty sure this wasn’t true, having gotten about 1/2 way through the ol’ Old Testament and, sure enough

Exodus 22:21, You shall not wrong or oppress a resident alien, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt.” Reminding the people of biblical Israel that they had been slaves in Egypt

Leviticus 19:34 The alien who resides among you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God.

Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

The angels quote got me thinking. I’m reading/listening to The Odyssey at the moment and the other gods (the fake ones) loved disguising themselves to get the skinny on the mortals. That led me to think about how the anti-abortion morans love pulling out the argument that “you may be killing the next Mozart or supreme court justice that will overturn Roe v. Wade”. (Of course, you could be killing the next Hitler or Ted Bundy, too). It occurred to me that  xtians have none of this compassion for illegal children. That they might be deporting the next Mozart or supreme court justice that will overturn Roe v. Wade.

And, so I submitted my comment, which got held for moderation. And then deleted.

I’m not sure how much you know about xtians bu they are (especially the white ones) persecuted at every turn. No one allows them to speak. They have no voice anywhere in the world. All they get is silenced and disrespected. As one pious xtian correctly noted

if America were being invaded by right wing Christians the Gov would be offering a bounty for each captured

It’s true! America hates xtians. All America cares about is killing babies and getting free sex change operations. If I censored xtian comments on this blog (which I don’t and won’t), I’d be persecuting xtians. But when Crosstalk does it, it’s “defending the faith.”

Which sounds a lot like moral relativism to me

Hbee Mat Staver, Teabaggers, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians Mat Staver, Teabaggers, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians

I was going to try to work up a head of steam on this but, ya know, it pretty much speaks for itself.

Vic Eliason – Professional Fucktard

Mat Staver – Professional Fucktard

Hbee CrossTalk, Hitler, Mat Staver, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Vomiting in My Mouth CrossTalk, Hitler, Mat Staver, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Vomiting in My Mouth

Xtians want you to believe that if only the Muslim president converted to xtianity, everything would be ok. He’d understand that Jesus would waterboard terrorists before putting two Godly bullets through their skulls. He’d get that personally killing pre-borns contradicts God’s laws. Jesus would lead him to the founding of the American theocracy that God created America for.

You see, they’re not hateful. They want the best for the other 80% of the population that is not totally fucking insane. All they want is for the rest of us to understand that America needs to be saved before God can destroy it in the Armageddon.

But.

Converting to xtianity is not enough.

Apparently, Jesus doesn’t always save. It’s so confusing. Once upon a time, you turned your life over to Jesus and, BOOM, that was that. Past sins forgiven, milk and honey at the signing of the death certificate, moral clarity – in short, you, like the folks at Crosstalk, got a pre-approved ticket to Heaven. Guess not.

I’m not sure who gets to change the rules, but all signs point to Vic Eliason. Vic decided that just being xtian isn’t enough. Thus, even if President Obama converted to xtianity Vic still wouldn’t support him.

There’s really only one way that this works – Jesus can’t forgive all sins. If, after dedicating your life to Christ, your earthly judges (Vic, Jim and Ingrid, I guess) still find your soul tainted and wicked, then Jesus didn’t do His job very well.

Ok. I lied.  There’s another way it works. It works if Vic, Jim and Ingrid hold themselves pridefully above the rest of humanity in some special xtian skybox halfway between Heaven and Earth set up as Jesus’ hallway monitors. I’m a little rusty on my bible passages, but I’m sure they can tell me which chapter and verse gives them authority to judge the strength of someone’s faith.

Vic? Ingrid? Jim? Bueller?

Help me out, here.

Jesus Doesn’t Save

Caller: [I was asked] What if Obama had a conversion and got saved and became a Christian, what would your response be and my response sadly was, man, I’d start praying for him and asking God to protect him…

Sadly? Really? You’d be sad about an enemy of America converting from the dark side to the light side? I could have sworn that the a lost lamb coming back to the flock meant rejoicing. Boy! What a dumbass I am! It’s actually cause for regret and suspicion.

Still, Vic, as God’s Hallway Monitor, explains, after a conversion, it gets kicked up the chain of command to Vic, Jim and Ingrid. Only after they sign off on the new recruit, does God make the final judgment.  And, really, how can anyone know what God thinks. Maybe, Vic hints, God would kill the newly xtian Obama just to teach him a lesson.

Because, as stated earlier, Jesus can’t absolve all sins. Especially the sins of Socialism, Communism, Fascism, Saul Alinksy-ism and all those poor pre-borns that, had they been born, would have saved the Social Security system.

Hbee Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Religion, Republicana, Talk Radio, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Religion, Republicana, Talk Radio, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians

The funny thing about Crosstalk is that you can spend 5000 words writing about it and still not do as good a job exposing them as hypocrites as they do themselves.

Matt Barber of oddly name Liberty Council came on the show NOT to bash gay people but to show how much xtians love them.  He did so by condemning gay people as violent, spittle spewing sinners possessed by demons.

Spittle Spewing Homos

The love continued with examples of how violent gay people stormed a church and…didn’t really hurt anybody.  Except the kids.  Who had to look at gay people.  And, I guess, all the closeted gays and lesbians mooning over the HOTT gay activists.

Violent Homos…That Don’t Hit People

And in the coup d’ grace (pretty gay phrase, huh?), Barber slits his own throat by blatantly laying all of his cards on the table.

HAHAHA!

Early in the program, my youngest daughter, sitting in bed, playing games on my iPod and listening, asked me, “how can you listen to this stuff??” By the last clip she was howling with laughter and derision.  Just as she should.

Never say I’m not a good dad! *laffin*

Hbee Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians

Crosstalk America is not a religious show.  Anyone who listens to even the smallest snippet of it should come to that conclusion.  The show is about dogma and fear.  What little religion that pokes its head up from the slimy depths of the studio serves only to enforce the hatred du jour.  When hosting, Vic Eliason, the head brown-shirt, acts as grandpa with a tri-cornered blade and  basement full of crosses marking the graves of the sinners he correctly garroted in the name of Jesus.

Vic cannot have an honest debate.  When backed into a corner and called on his bullshit he defaults to the following steps

1. The caller makes their point
2. Vic tries to spin it
3. The caller begins to push back
4. Vic interrupts the caller in his folksy fashion to play the “we’re having a dialog” card
5. The caller, annoyed about the interruption, continues to try to have the dialog that Vic just effectively ended
6. Vic, the taste of blood and victory in his mouth, terminates the call, blaming the victim for his own rudeness in interrupting.
7. He then laments that “some people” (code word the un-godly) care nothing about “dialog” and only call to push their evil agenda.

Of course, no mention of their own agenda makes it into that statement.  This happens over and over on the show and I’ve talked about it before.  What makes this clip different comes during the sermonette at the end.

Three things to listen for -

The first is the word “filibuster”.  During the bush years, filibuster meant evil.  It’s what “lie-berals” did to hold up the nomination of racist, though xtian, judges.  It’s what “dumbo-crats” used to attempt block legislation to stop funding of the effective program of giving condoms to countries with high rates of HIV in favor of the ineffective program of abstinence only.  Now, with the advent of socialist health and the destruction of America (TM), “filibuster” is a good word again.  Vic’s negative use of the word points up the bastardization of the language and the adaptability of true believers to switch contexts at the drop of the hat.  It’s a nice little Pavlovian trick. I don’t mean to imply that my side of the fence doesn’t do the same thing – but Vic’s mastery of verbal cues approaches evil brilliance.

The second points out the de-facto fascism of the show. “I happen to be the person that holds the control here.” Pretty straight forward – disagree with me and break my arbitrary decisions as to how much dialog I allow you and you’re gone.  Doing radio myself, though, this is more of a slip than it sounds like. The point he wanted to make was his fingers decide whether or not he’ll allow you to speak.  As such, he works the “controls”. In switching from the proper plural use to the singular use implying action, rather then object, he betrays his true agenda – xtian Stalinism

The third illustrates the basic hypocrisy of Crosstalk America – “We’re not going to let you abuse the program just because you want to be rude”. Really? Listen to the call again.

Vic: …Wouldn’t you agree that that’s a problem?

Caller: But that’s the way it’s always been…

Vic: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait a minute Maria. Take a breath. We’re going to have some dialog…

After the break, Vic turns on the condescension, explaining to Maria, whose call has been terminate, the rules of dialog. “I wish Maria had stayed on the line because we could have had dialog. Which means you make a statement, take a breath and let someone respond.” Obviously, Vic doesn’t have to play by his own rules.  He made a statement (to which Maria respectfully listened), asked a question and then cut off her response.

In the eyes of Crosstalk America, Jesus, apparently, was a passive-aggressive hypocrite.

Shut Up – We’re Having A Dialog And You Kept Talking

PS: If you’re new to the horror that is Crosstalk America, this show acts as a perfect primer, containing all the wingnuts talking points including the old “let’s stop blaming bush’s incompetence for state we’re in. After all, Obama promised to fix everything right away and we’ve successfully stopped him from doing that.” As an added bonus, you’ll get “Obama kind of sent more troops to Afghanistan and kinda listened to the generals BUT HE DIDN’T DO IT WHEN WE TOLD HIM TO SO HE IS EVIL” meme.

Hbee CrossTalk, Religion, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Vomiting in My Mouth, xtians CrossTalk, Religion, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Vomiting in My Mouth, xtians

When I talk of Tony Perkins here, I don’t speak of the gay actor that dressed up in his mother’s clothing and killed Janet Leigh in the shower. Nor the actor who played the closeted photographer in Mahogony. When I talk of Tony Perkins, I speak of James Dobson’s bully boy and head of the Family Research Council. Tony is a capital-X Xtian who, I’m sure, if it wasn’t for those pesky “government laws” would have no problem killing his kid, as God urges you to do in Leviticus. He knows that God doesn’t like gays, that abortion is murder and that God forgave Sen. David Vitter for hiring whores to dress him up in a diaper so there’s no need to contest Vitter’s re-election bid. All of this is to say that, while he may not suck dicks, he’s a dick and he sucks.

Tony (the not gay one) bleats about the important issues of the day and why liberals will go to Hell on Washington Watch Weekly. While most shows fill the average listener with dread over what a theocracy might look like NOT GAY people like Tony Perkins (the not gay one) in charge, this past week’s points out just how fucking insane Dobson and the crew are.

It’s been proven by xtians that once upon a time in America there was no crime, no drug, no pre-marital sex, no gays, all wars were just wars and people only voted Republican. It was a simpler, better time because only xtians lived in America and you could beat the shit out your child without fear of prosecution.  To that end, xtians love looking backwards. Even to the extent that they favor dictionaries from 1912 and rely on previous drafts of state’s constitutions to prove that God created America.

This past Wednesday, the country celebrated Veterans’ Day. Tony did, as well, by flying a very special flag.  This flag represents a time when Americans believed in America and compassion for the enemies of America simply did not exist.  We gunned them down in cold blood, pissed on the dead and Jesus laughed, laughed, laughed. It’s a flag that flew over Pearl Harbor before the filthy, yellow Japs bombed it.  Which means it only has 48 stars.  Which means it doesn’t represent the whole country.  Which means that, mercifully, all the darker skinned Americans of Hawaii and Alaska get shunted aside.  God Bless (most of) America!

Tony (the not-gay one) knows that among Jesus’ wonderful messages, His message of helping your fellow man stands in the center of it.  One way to help your fellow man is, when they knock up their girlfriend in high school, to force them to have a child they’re not mature enough to raise.  In doing this, you ensure the child gets neglected and (hopefully) beaten.  Why? Because not only will the child want to get the hell out of that house and joined the Army, but when they do, they’ll already be battle hardened.  Some “Pro-Lifers” (at least pro-American lifers) praised the Stupid Stupak amendment to the rapidly toothless healthcare bill for making sure that xtians wouldn’t go to Hell because they paid for a girl to abort their daddy’s baby.  Tony (tngo) knows you have to cruel to be kind and that allowing the bill to become law means victory for the harbinger of the End Times, Barak Obama.  After all, you don’t need health insurance if you live your life in accordance to biblical principals.  What’s the point of Stupid Stupak amendment when the more important goals are 1) to actively work against the President of the United States and 2) let the people who don’t live their life by following biblical principles to die.  Yes, God is Love and sometimes love means killing that uppity bitch that refuses to do what you tell her to.

Lastly, as the Conservative Bible Project plans to make clear, Jesus was NOT a liberal.  When Jesus said “fellow man” he didn’t mean everyone. He meant (in the original Aramaic) “like-minded people” or, in the parlance of today’s vernacular “NOT TOWELHEADS.” Tony doesn’t truck with “intellectuals” who “think” and “analyze” and rely on “political correctness” and “other people” to inform their decisions. So, when a Muslim like Nidal Hassan opens fire and kills 13 at Ft. Hood, Texas, the way to make sure this never happens again is clear: kick the fucking Muslims out of the US Armed Forces.  Now.  Didn’t this same thing happen 6 years ago?!  Don’t you people get it?! Do you not see a trend?!  As most xtians, will tell you – when you become a Muslim you take an oath to kill as many Americans as you can. We are the enemy.  To hell with all this “diversity” and “inclusion”.  Letting Muslims into the military de facto means more dead American soldiers on the soil of our glorious homeland.

Do you think Jesus wants to see that?  Tony Perkins doesn’t.  But then again, he doesn’t like to acknowledge the 49th and 50th states of the Union, either.

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I totally forgot about one of my new favorite sound clip from Crosstalk.  I have to admit that I don’t listen every day because I’m too busy worshipping Satan and searching for new commandments to break – I mean, it seems like there’s a whole lot more than ten out there.  Anywho – somebody must have done some pretty good trolling because all of the sudden the policy on calling in changed.  No longer will they pick up any old call, no, no – you must have a valid caller ID or they won’t even pick up.

Vic Explains The New Policy

YOIKS!

My favorite part is “the integrity of this show depends upon it.”  Whuh?  Integrity?  Vic, you’re “integrity” is, for lack of a better word, shit.  Especially since you spent a fair amount of the first part of the show riffing on some black helicopter World Net Daily “article” about how the 2010 census is using GPS to map people’s front doors and how GPS was used in the Iraq to send missles through windows.  Of course, you assured people, you weren’t saying the government was planning on killing Americans.  Not American forces, at least, since Obama was “decimating” the military.  But if some force decided to invade America and had to locate a certain house, they probably wouldn’t know English and would have to rely on GPS to figure it out.  And since Obama had mapped all of the houses with GPS then what makes you think that he wasn’t working for…well…no need to say more.  As any lawyer knows, you don’t have to explicitly say what you mean to inflict damage.

Yes, Vic, among the sane and thoughtful, you’re integrity is like Ted Haggard’s butt – stretched and lax.  Remember that time you had the conversation with the guy that said that since homosexuals were immoral they couldn’t feel remorse and therefor could kill anyone they wanted to and not care?  A person of integrity would have at least challenged such insanity.  You didn’t.  A person of integrity wouldn’t allow a host like Ingrid to knowingly let a caller rewrite history

John Lennon Killed Immediately After The Bigger Than Jesus Statement

Rather, your integrity is like honor among thieves – it sounds good but it’s just not true.  They’re still thieves and by any objective standard, you still lie and, worse, enable others to lie through your silence.

Hbee Bible, Christians, CrossTalk, Lovable Psychos, VCY America Bible, Christians, CrossTalk, Lovable Psychos, VCY America

Not all Christians are assholes.  I pretty sure that I’ve said this before.  I know some very nice, kind, caring Christians.  Every year, it’s the churches that organize an MLK breakfast.  The woman down the street works in a food pantry and puts in time bettering the community.  I’d say, all told, that there are more nice Christians than not.  In my own odd way, I believe in the goodness of people.  Sadly, these are not the people that immediately jump to mind when many people (note the qualification) think of Christians.

They think of assholes like James Dobson.  They think of dickheads like Rod Parsely.  They think of absolutely losers like Jimmy Swaggart.

If there is a Hell then under the guidelines, I will be there and I will have many, many conversations with many, many Christians who will no doubt be shaking their heads as to how they got there.  It seems that no matter how many times you try to explain that telling other people that they’re going to Hell doesn’t mean you’re going to Heaven, they just don’t get it.  They also don’t seem to understand that Jesus didn’t preach that the way to Him was distorting the truth – AKA: Lying.

If I remember it correctly, there are sins of omission and sins of commission.  A sin of omission is failure to do what one can and must do.  Thus, Ted Haggard committed a sin of omission when he bought speed and had sex with a male prostitute.  A sin of commission is to know something is wrong and do it anyway.  Thus, James Dobson and his buddies knowingly and willingly tell lies in the name of Jesus.  These lies projectile vomit out of the mouths of their deluded followers.  People like this fine, caring xtian.

You may know a lot of atheists who help, but they are not the majority

Understand, they are taught that you cannot be moral without being a Christian.  I have heard someone say that homosexuals are more prone to murder because they have no morality.  They can kill and not feel anything.  I wish I was kidding.  And so, all atheists are homosexual sociopaths.

This is the way xtians survive to fill their coffers and preach their vision of the hateful Jesus.  In their view, extrapolation equals logic.  Thus, if Barney Frank calls Justice Antonin Scalia a homophobe what he’s actually saying is that any American that voted on a state Defense of Marriage law is a homophobe.  Which is not only stupid but a sin of commission.  xtian “leaders” knowingly and willfully took a satircal piece about a homosexual uprising, stripped out the prologue that explained

This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor.

and claimed it was the blueprint for the homosexual agenda.  Seriously.  When you hear someone claim that “I am holding a copy of the homosexual agenda in my hand” that’s what they’re referring to -  a satirical newpaper column in a gay paper.  (And I”m desperately trying NOT to make a joke about what’s in their other hand…OOPS)

It should be fairly obvious that these people are not Christians.  They are xtians.  Like the early Catholic Church, they are not about Jesus.  They are about earthly power.  I’m not even sure that they understand what they’re doing.  I do know, however, that Jesus wouldn’t have lied to spread lies about people he didn’t like.

See ya in Hell!

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