Posts Tagged ‘Navel (Gazing At)’

In Which All The Whos Down In Whoville All Cry “Boo Hoo”

February 18th, 2013 No comments

I’ve spent a lot of time and digital space detailing the outright lies and hatred spewed by VCYAmerica. They embody the worst of what xtianity is – personal pettiness, snark and hypocrisy hiding behind a religion that does not promote that. VCY, effectively, started its own religion with Vic Eliason as god and everyone else bowing and scraping before him. Need a quick example? During the height of the Larry Sinclair bullshit, callers would beg VCY to “investigate” it. Vic refused. Frankly, I was shocked. Vic?? Acting morally?? JK! He bought in hook, line and sinker to Kenyan, atheist, socialist, communist, muslim, blah blah blah. I pretty sure that the only reason he didn’t pick up the Sinclair bullshit is because it would involve the word “penis” and since God only  made a penis to procreate or for a homo to fuck a little boy with, well…best to let those things alone. After all – this show is about GOD.

One thing that made VCY particularly frightening is/was the family aspect of it. Vic’s daughter, Ingrid Schleuter, was on staff, sending people who disagreed with her to Hell with the same vehemence and hatred as her Daddy. More, sometimes. He raised her well. Mormons = evil. Harry Potter = evil. Yoga = evil. Everyone who deviated from her proscribed ethical circle = evil. SHE knew good Jesus from bad Jesus and she would NOT be silenced on the subject. Rick Warren, you miserable bastard! That you would even consider allowing Obama in the front door of your “church” meant you worked for the devil. End. Of. Story.

Awhile ago, Vic turned on the spawn he created with his p-p-penis and fired her. Yeah, who coulda seen that coming? Then, because Jesus would have, they started trashing each other. Even better, Vic started sock puppetting on various blogs, trashing his daughter. And now, Ingrid shouts to the world that “Vic Eliason is evil“.
Well, boo-fucking-hoo.
Listen up, Ingrid – you built this. The shit and bile that spewed out over the airwaves finally backed up. Where’s Jesus? You don’t know because you lost him decades ago choosing, instead to follow a path of hatred and politics that had nothing to do with him. Nothing. I have so much audio of you ripping apart your enemies like a feral dog, going for the throat and showing no mercy. What the fuck did you expect? Did you honestly think that Jesus (real or fictional) would put up with that? Did honestly think that bilking hicks out of their money for your radio Nuremberg rallies wouldn’t come back to bite you?
Year after year, you allowed the most ignorant statements to pass over the airwaves without one single syllable of protest.
Caller: After John Lennon said he was bigger than Jesus, he was shot six times
You: Well, you’ve got that right.
No. No, she doesn’t. She has that wrong. And you, you pathetic cunt, chose not the path of honesty but took a deep breath and consciously made a decision not to correct her facts. You knew that was a lie. You knew there was a loooooong period of time between bang-bang and bigger than Jesus. You also knew that correcting her negated your message of GOD KILLS EVERYONE YOU THINK SHOULD BE KILLED.
So, fuck you, Ingrid. I’d really like to have sympathy for you, but I can find none. Not one shred. I can’t even find empathy. I hate using this analogy, but it fits – it doesn’t matter how many Jews you killed or how badly you feel about it now. What matters is how happily and self-righteously you killed them. Your regret means nothing.
If I believed in Hell, I’d say you’ll end up there. But I don’t. Instead, your Hell is here on Earth and, honestly, I hope it never ends.
You worked hard for this moment, Ingrid. Sadly, I doubt you even have the self-awareness to understand that.

In Which I Am Old Enough To Smoke And Corporations Trump Government

May 18th, 2012 No comments

Me: I’d like a pack of Marlboros, please
Cashier: Sure. Do you have any ID?
Me: I have plenty of ID.
Cashier: May I see it?
Me: No.

I will turn 50 soon and though I’ve been told I look younger (“43 at most”), I most certainly don’t look like I’m 18. Or even 28. In Massachusetts, the law says ID must be provided if the consumer appears to be under 27.  But, apparently, corporate rules trump government law so I keep getting carded at CVS.

Big deal, you’re thinking. Just show them your ID and continue sauntering towards your slow , self-inflicted death. This is a big deal, though, on a couple of levels. It’s about common sense, free will and, yes, training people how to subsume both in the service of a corporation. It’s the last part that concerns me.

I do my best to stay away from CVS in general, keeping my purchases to toothpaste and my medication which obviously needs adjusting. When I do buy smokes from there, it’s usually late and every place else is closed. Out of boredom, tiredness or disdain, the cashier pops in some made up date of birth (most likely making me passive-aggressively older than I am), I pay them and, transaction complete, we leave each other alone. This is how it should work.

The daytime is a different matter. During the day, there’s  managers that wants to climb the corporate ladder and so will do everything according to the laws of CVS rather than the state. CVS, I’ve been told, has a card-everyone policy. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80. If you buy cigarettes, you’re suspect. You are too stupid to know if the elderly woman in the Hoveround with the oxygen mask buying Eve 12os truly fits the age criterion. Seriously. I had a CVS manager tell me that. “Yes, she would be carded.”

The problem with this is that it’s stupid and detrimental to society since CVS’s policy, while arguably egalitarian, serves to separate the community rather than encourage interaction and mindfulness. The cashier is trained, in the best corporate tradition, not to think but to become part of an assemblage of if-then statements. That woman in the wheelchair doesn’t need to be remembered. Once she present ID, the cashier can clear cache and go onto the next transaction. Cashiers are encouraged to be goldfish, reacting to every customer as a brand new customer.That concerns me.

What concerns me more can be illustrated by the following interaction:

Me: I’d like a pack of Marlboro, please
Cashier: Sure. Do you have any ID?
Me: I have plenty of ID.
Cashier: May I see it?
Me: No.
Cashier: I need to see ID to sell you cigarettes.
Me: Ok. I will prove that I’m old enough to buy cigarettes after you prove to me you’re old enough and legally allowed to work here.
Cashier: Um…
Me: Seriously. I don’t know how old you are and if you’re a citizen of the US or have a green card. If we’re going to follow rules, let’s follow rules.
Cashier: I don’t have to prove that, sir.
Me: Neither do I. Massachusetts state law says card under 27. I am obviously over 27.
Cashier: Our corporate policy states….
Me: Corporate policy? Are you actually claiming that my right to buy cigarettes is based on your corporate policy as opposed to the laws of the state we’re in? Really?
Cashier: Um…err….(Picking up the phone) Manager to the front!

Perhaps I’m treading a like between valid concern and paranoia but to allow corporate laws to trump government laws makes me squinchy. When a company regulates the behavior of a citizen bad things happen. You can argue that no one should smoke and these checks act as a deterrent. There’s a shame factor. While I support not smoking in the workplace, is it right and proper to penalize someone for a legal action, such as smoking, by pushing them outside into a snow storm and not provide shelter? I’ve had private security guards tell me that I couldn’t smoke on the street in front of their building because of corporate policy.

That’s kind of scary whether you smoke or not.


In Which All Xtians Agree With Pat Robertson

January 14th, 2010 No comments

Hey, remember a couple of years back when some miserable fanatics flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? Remember how wingnuts and xtians used the occasion to blame all of Islam because, effectively, the president of Islam didn’t condemn the attacks quickly, strongly or believably enough?

By that measure, the measure which they hold other religions to, all xtians believe Pat Robertson 100% that Haiti made a pact with the devil. True story.

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said on his Christian Broadcasting Network show. “They were under the heel of the French . . . and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’

“True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’ ” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

How do we know this is true? Because in the 24hrs or so since Robertson vomited out his “blessing in disguise” not one xtian group has come forward to condemn him or his outward presentation of schizophrenia.

Christan Newswire is the place where xtians (and sometimes Christians) go to unleash their messages of love for homos, liberals, minorities and the current president.  Want to know about some preacher planning to bury himself alive for three days so he can return with a revelation? This is the place to go. Concerned Women For America shows their concern for women by decry rape exclusions in abortion. The American Family Association keeps you updated on who to hate. Randall Terry releases statements that dead abortion doctors had it coming to them.

And all of them speak for God and God says Haiti made a deal with Satan.

I don’t know exactly how far gone you have to be to actually buy into that. Apparently, if you’re an xtian, not very far.

So why haven’t the condemnations of Robertson flooded Christian Newswire like Christ’s blood dripping down his body on the cross? Because you don’t call your rich grandfather a “fucktard”. The xtain community knows that Pat still holds a lot of power.  Wanna take over the 700 Club? Wanna even be a guest on the 700 Club? Keep your mouth shut and nod…even when Grandpa calls you by the wrong name and tries to touch you when no one’s looking.

This kind of sin of commission (yes, D, I know it’s usually Catholic) is the kind of thing Christianity frowns on.  All the more reason to call out fake xtians when they allow their “leaders” to denigrate the victims of tragedy fairy tales and lies.

Let me be clear – it’s not that xtians hate black people. They just hate people in general. After all, that’s what Jesus would do.

In Which I Give You An Added Bonus!

January 3rd, 2010 No comments

While I’m going through Crosstalks, yanking audio, it’s worthwhile posting a few of the latest of the Back To Genesis series from The Institute For Creation Research. Their tag line is “Biblical. Accurate. Certain.”


That’s one of those words that I use when I’m sure of something.

“I’m certain that I chanted ‘Hail Chucky’ three times before I put the chicken foot on my head….didn’t I?”

I don’t mean to get into my personal life.

I really wish they would podcast this series. Instead, they stick it in at the 20min break of Crosstalk so you have to edit them into their own file.  Perhaps that’s the point. If the rest of the nation heard what utter foolishness Creation “scientists” try to pawn off as fact, the series would shoot to number one on the comedy podcast list.

Lately, they’ve switched from talking about earthly matters such as how man couldn’t have come from monkeys

Proof Of Creationism – Man Can’t Swing From Trees

And proving that Noah’s Ark could have held two of everything

Noah’s Secret? Dinosaur EGGS!

BTW, BTG can’t even stay consistent within itself. “Dozens of horses”? Um. You’d only need two, right?

To heavenly matters such as solar eclipses

And…Um…God Made It

And how there is no fucking way that Jesus will walk on the Moon.

Fuck The Sun! God Loves The Earth More!

I wouldn’t go so far as to say they’ve jumped the shark, but they’re certainly running out of material. As my friend, Kevin Harrington, pointed out, “It’s kinda like they’re saying ‘here’s a bunch of information and, btw, God made the world.”

And, because I can’t seem to stop, here’s one of my top three

Noah’s Elves

See, the Bible is the inerrant word of God, right? It’s the history of the world and how God made it. So, just because God spends entire chapters on on geneology and sacrifices made unto doesn’t mean that everything is in there. Just because it doesn’t talk about Noah sub-contracting some of the ark construction to outside firms doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Got it?

Neither do I.

In Which Xmas Is The Time For Being Judgmental

December 17th, 2009 No comments

Round 5 of The Last Temptation of Christmas ended in yet another tie, ensuring that round 6 must take place.

For those not in the know, The Last Temptation of Christmas is a battle of the Christmas songs. It works like this

Derek Gerry plays some crappy Christmas song

I play a better one

Robby Roadsteamer and Tony Moschetto decide which song is better.

Given the fact that we’ve tied for three years running, obviously they are not the best judges.

Still – it’s a helluva a lot of fun!

The Last Temptation of Christmas Round 5

In Which I Offer An Analogy On The Prisoner Abuse Photos

May 14th, 2009 1 comment

So here were are.  Democrats won pretty much everything they could win and yet it’s still not enough.  For some reason (and it holds true for Republicans, too) we’re compelled to eat each other.  I recently listened to a conversation where the..well…combatants went after each other for not being liberal enough.  This kind of  political pissing contest just doesn’t help.  I’ll say it again – too many people projected their own views onto Obama in direct contrary evidence to the facts.  “I’m not anti-war.  I’m anti-stupid war.”  Which part of “not anti” don’t you understand?

You could have backed Dennis Kucinich but you didn’t so with all due respect – STFU.  (And DON’T give me your rationalizations about needing to win the White House.  If you compromised your values then you compromised your values.  End of story.)

The latest “outrage” comes over releasing more photos of prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib.  Yes, Obama reversed course on this.  No, it’s not a betrayal.  Why?  Because we already know what happened.  The reports say that there’s nothing new.  It’s just more of the same.

For the past couple months, Obama has slowly begun mending fences with the rest of the world and making it clear that the US is not some kind of closet-gay, date-rape jock.  We need to focus on that.  We need to make the apologies we need to make, take our lumps when they’re warranted and, to coin a phrase, “Move On”.  Look – the bush administration was evil – utterly and non-debatably evil.   They shredded the Constitution, ruled with unbridled hypocrisy and forced us to say that we were Canadians when traveling overseas.

So now that we’ve got a decent President that wants to fix it, why would we want to remind everybody of this fact?  We’re in a relationship with the rest of the world.  We’re just getting out of the dog house and you want to put us back in?

Allow me to go Bob Newhart here for a sec.

Hey, honey!

Good day at work?  Did you get the flowers I sent?

Well, I love you and I just wanted to show you.  I’ve been kind of a shit lately and I know how lucky I don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore.

Yeah, I know.  Fucking your sister was wrong.  Taping it was even worse.  I’m really sorry.  I’m so happy that we’re working through it.  I really don’t know what I was thinking.  Thank you for forgiving me.

Oh, while we’re on the subject, there’s something I wanted to tell you.  We did it more than once.  A bunch of times, actually.  Dozens.  I’ve got a lot more tape.  Hours.  Man, your sister is a freak!  There’s this one part where she wants me to put underwear on her head and chain her to –

No, I know you saw that part, but this was a different time.  You didn’t see that specific one.  That was on…just a sec, lemme check the time stamp on tapes.  Have a seat, we’ll watch them together.  I feel really good that we can do this together.

Why are you crying, honey?  I thought we were past this?

See?  It’s not helpful.  In fact, it’s cruel and unproductive.  It’s going to put the US back on the couch again.  We don’t need to be there.

This isn’t about denying the truth of what happened.  The truth is already out there, backed up with photographic evidence.  The US abused prisoners under the bush regime.  It’s not useful to release every single photo of every single instance.  It changes nothing. A photo of a dog attacking a prisoner at 21:38 holds the same weight as a photo of a dog attacking a prisoner at 21:39.  It’s abuse.

The only reason to release more photos is a self-serving one – for Democrats to prove we were right all along.  But we already proved that.  Repeatedly.

So, to use my recently coined phrase, let’s move on and get to the business of healing the wrongs we committed.

In Which Our Country Deserves Better Than Hate Merchants

March 30th, 2009 No comments

I’m on a lot of wingnut mailing lists.  Every now and again, some press release or plea plea for money or request to step up the hate against Obama comes through and something just isn’t quite right.  Sure, they claim it’s not about hate but about protecting the country from horrible homo-loving, latte-sipping, book-reading socialists.  They even have names that make it clear that this is about bettering the country by using names like “Our Country Deserves Better Committee”.


And yet, something is missing.

Play along, won’t you?

Thank you!

As the Chief Strategist for the Our Country Deserves Better Committee (one of America’s largest conservative political action committees) I wanted to thank you for all the support you’ve given to our efforts to win the Special Election for Congress that takes place tomorrow (Tuesday).

We not only have faced a millionaire liberal Democrat (Scott Murphy) and all the money he put into his race, but we also have had to battle back against money and campaigning from Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi.  You’ve helped us ‘hold our own’ in this race, and kept the campaign competitive.

With just 2 days of campaigning left we are putting in the last minute contributions we receive into a final big push of radio and TV ads to win this race.  The polls show an absolute dead heat – it could come down to a handful of votes determining who wins, and the stakes are so high.  We must defeat Obama and Pelosi’s candidate and start to take back our country!

If you’re able to afford one last contribution to this campaign it would be very helpful in our efforts to secure victory.  We’ll be taking your contributions made throughout the day and purchasing more airtime for our final ad push.  The deadline for contributions to be received and used in our final push is 3:00 PM – TODAY (Monday).

Make your final, last-minute contribution online – CLICK HERE TO DONATE.

And again – our deepest appreciation and gratitude for all your efforts, kind words, and financial support!

SAL RUSSO – Chief Strategist, Our Country Deserves Better PAC

This message was intended for:

You were added to the system January 9, 2009. For more information click here.

Need a clue?  It’s a race to fill Hillary Clinton’s seat.

Need another?  We know that Scott Murphy is the evil, foul, venal, scumbag Democratic candidate.

But who’s he running against?

OOPS!  In their rush to demonize the opponent and to stoke the fires of hate, they forgot to included the name of the candidate they support.  It’s no small omission.  What it says is DON’T vote for Democrats.  They barely even care about who the Democrat is (since they put his name in parenthesises).  The shorter version, then, would be

Give us money to defeat Democrats.  You don’t need to know anything else.

Our country really does deserve better than hate merchants like this.

In Which I Have Excerpts From Blago’s “Closing Argument”

January 29th, 2009 No comments

[Note – Please do NOT ask me for my source.  I will NOT give it up.  I will spend the rest of my life in jail for contempt before I give up Judith Miller.]

Blagojevich:  Ok, motherfuckers, let me start by saying “FUCK YOU”.  Got it?  Was I speaking to quickly?  FUCK YOU.  You cocksuckers think I’m going down here?  You got another motherfucking thing coming to to you.  I am NOT fucking leaving this office until I’m given every fucking goddamn thing I’m fucking owed.  Who the hell do you think you goddamn fucks are, anyway?  The fucking pope?  No fucking way.

Stupid fucks, you can kiss my lily-white fucking Chicago ass…

Suck it.  I’m fucking serious.  Every single one of you fucks.  Form a goddamn line.

I had to beat Rachel Maddow off with a goddamn broomstick just to get out of the fucking building.  THAT’S the kind of badass motherfucker you’re fucking dealing with.  Got it?

I’m assured this will all be on the teleprompter for him.

In Which I Promise Not Become Obsessed

January 27th, 2009 3 comments

I guess this could also be called “In Which I’m A Total Dick”, but, really Eric – think before you post.

Why are we NOT violating the rights of them murderous towelheads at Gitmo?  Simple!

The Geneva COnvention only applies to nations. Al Queda is not a nation. They are not entitled to any protection that Geneva covers.

So, by that logic, you’re saying that that since “Jews” aren’t a nation then their rights weren’t violated during the holocaust.

Or am I missing something?

More concretely, here’s another example of what I’m going to call the Hannity Syndrome in which you claim to be neutral and then drop all pretense of neutrality.  For the sake of coaxing the point out, I’m going to switch the order of the paragraphs

I have vowed for the most part to sit back and let him [Obama] govern. I have no interest in reflexively opposing him. He has to make decisions that I believe are so fundamentally wrong on an issue so deep inside my heart for me to intervene.

The pain of the Twin Towers has been compounded by a pair of decisions that will hopefully never come to be known as the “Twin Blunders.”

Dig the almost perfect passive aggression of that last sentence.  “That will hopefully never be known…”  HA!  Dude – don’t be so fucking coy!  Just come right out and say, “hey, here’s a snappy soundbite for OneNewsNow or, if I’m lucky, Fox!”

(The blunders that will hopefully never be known as the “twin blunders”, btw, are 1) closing the farce called Gitmo and 2) actually NOT torturing people when we say we won’t.  *sigh*)

Finally – God knows that I fuck up all the time but

Sometime between January 20th and January 25th of 2008, a new President made grave strategic mistakes.

That’s some serious freaky wormhole time travel there!

In Which I Want To Give Eric A Heads Up

January 27th, 2009 No comments

Well, Eric gave me quite the drubbing in the comment section because of my foul fucking mouth and horrible manners in writing a post for my own website. Now, we can agree to disagree over whether “goosestepping” means calling someone a Nazi or whether it means marching in lockstep.  Personally, I meant it in the latter sense, but I do understand that offense can be taken.  Plenty of people get upset that “drinking the Kool Aid” became divorced from the horrific massacre in Jonestown and now is used as a punchline.

Still, it’s a little disingenuous to hear him say –

Lastly, my holocaust surviving father would take offense at your referring to any American politican as a “goose-stepper,” “Nazi,” or “Brownshirt.”

Which is pretty funny since hardcore conservatives and christians spent the last, desparate moments of the 2008 campaign calling Obama “Adolph Hitler” who was, if memory serves…um…a Nazi.

I’m far too shallow to really look in depth, but the cursory search for “nazi” on Eric’s website didn’t show any posts warning his conservative breathern to cut the shit – oops, rather, to knock it off with the insulting references to Hitler.  Nor, I’m assuming (and, please, prove me wrong) are there any posts decrying the use of “the American Holocaust” when refering to abortion in America.

And why would there be?  Very few ideaolouges one either side of the fence would risk pissing off – goddamn it, did it again – annoying their breathern by speaking up for their core beliefs.  That kind of behavior bruises the gin, after all.  Why?  Because dissent inside your own party is not patriotic.

Two items –

1) A new friend stopped by the blog a short time ago and sent me an email saying, “I’m not quite sure that we’re on the same side of everything”.  And while that might be true, I still consider myself to be pretty fucking goddamn goshdarn liberal.  Not on everything, though, it’s true.  I’m not big into the group think and run into problems challenging my fellow liberals on some issues.  Nobody on the far left or far right likes a moderate.  We’re seeing Obama pay the price for his independence right now.  I haven’t read Eric’s stuff terribly deeply but it strikes me as faux-moderate as when Hannity says things like “Obama has no hope of succeeding but I’m going to give him 72 hours to prove me wrong because I’m a fair guy”.

2) I hope that soon you’ll be able to bookmark and copy audio from your mp3 player onto your computer.  Had this been the case, I’d have the audio from Focus On The Family that makes my case better than I can.  Dobson and company nattered on about how horrible the left was that, as Eric pointed out, they called republicans that had never killed any Jews, Nazis.  “This,” they said, “just added to the proof of what horrible people liberals were and how they’d do anything to twist the truth so that it lined up with their non-christian views.”

But it gets better.

About five minutes later on the same show (which was a typical christcon lie-a-thon) one of the guests started a new thread about how “the culture of death” didn’t really care who they killed.  They’d kill grandmothers simply because their life support systems cost tax payers hundreds of millions of dollars in Medicare payments.  Yes.  They’d kill the old people (waaaaait for it) JUST LIKE THE NAZIS DID.


Again – I wish I had the audio for that program.  Within the space of five minutes they whined about being called Nazis and then called other people Nazis.

So, Eric, I hope I didn’t trample on your right to dissent.  And please write a post about how Dr. Scott Lively somehow feels that allow gays in the military will turn the US Military into…well, I’m not really sure what the point is but it’s got to do with faggots and Hitler.