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In Which SkullDUGGARy Is The Name Of The Game

June 10th, 2015 No comments

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Isaiah 5:20

Always open with a joke, says conventional wisdom, and so I shall:

Q: What’s the difference between Josh Duggar and the right-wing extremist xtian perception of Mohammed?
A: Nothing! Both molest little girls!

Here’s a bonus joke – The Duggars will come out of this having learned something.

Boom! Suck it! No one writes comedy like I do! NO ONE!

But, cereally, folks! I had a vague understanding of the Duggar cult and Michelle Duggar’s vagina kept me awake at night screaming before I even knew who they were. I’ve never watched nor will ever watch their show.

If you’re just joining in, the Duggars had a reality TV show where…again, pure speculation because I don’t actually care…they travelled the country in The Mystery Machine exposing evolutionists as cranky old frauds in latex masks. Their show, Fifty Degrees of Fucked Up…err…19 Kids and Counting came to an ignominious end when it turned out Jim Bob (I shit you not, that’s his name) and Michelle were such shitty parents they couldn’t teach their son, Josh, not to finger his sisters.

I don’t hate Christians. I was raised Christian and left the church when I was 16 when it became apparent that “Christian” meant calling other kids “faggot”, stealing, drinking and in some cases grand larceny. Silly me, I actually took it seriously for awhile. But, unlike xtians, I don’t condemn the entire religion like they do with Muslims. Ironically, three of the people I went to high school with are ministers now. Two actually walk the walk. The other one (my best friend from high school) took a nose dive into the crazy pool, complaining about my cursing on Facebook, effectively calling me a baby killer and generally insulting my character. I put up with for awhile and then I started hitting back. And when I did that, he blocked me. Which is what Jesus would do.

Bill Hicks summed up xtians (fake Christians) perfectly:

These two rednecks came up to me after the show and said, “hey, buddy, we’re Christians and we don’t like what you said.” And I said, “oh, yeah? Then forgive me.”

That’s it in a nutshell. The actual Christian (as with the actual hero and soldier) feels no compunction to broadcast who they are. They don’t shy away from it but they don’t walk into a room carrying a cross and quoting scripture. I contracted at a company once. A lovely woman who worked there asked me if I’d work on her home computers and I agreed. Something seemed off at her house. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I saw the entire series of Left Behind books on her bookcase. At least she reads, I thought. Not once did she give any hint as to her religion nor did she evangelize. I admire that.

Not broadcasting your religion works on two levels.

One: You don’t come off like an asshole if you happen to meet someone of a different religion. Telling an atheist “I’ll pray for you,” works about as well as telling a Christian “hail Satan”.  It’s just not necessary. Period. Full stop. If you need to preach, become a minister. (BTW – I’ve been told the fastest way to become an atheist is to go to Divinity School.)

Two: You’re not setting yourself up for the kind of free-fall the Duggars are in now. Put another way – You don’t set yourself up as a pinnacle of “family values” who raised a child molester.

Frankly, I don’t know how Christianity survives. The Family Research Council where Josh “Gropey” Duggar used to work preaches a Santorum-like mixture of hate and hypocrisy. Tony “Not The Gay One” Perkins has Senator David “Dress Me Up In Diapers” Vitter on his program occasionally and calls him a “good man”. I’d understand “good baby” but “good man”? Why didn’t Tony “Not The Gay One” Perkins, who hates sin SO MUCH, not run against Vitter for his Senate seat?

I know this is all Dog Bites Man stuff but in the decade that I spent listening to xtian talk radio (extensively talked about on this blog) I heard the Isaiah quote over and over again with regards to pretty much any the heathen tried to do from make school lunches healthy to not blame all of Islam for 9/11.  It stuns me that anyone regardless of their religious bent could defend Josh Duggar. It defies logic.

Let’s end abruptly with some Lyle Lovett.

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[PS – I hope to be more coherent as I get back into the swing of this writing thing]

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