Hbee Inc.

One of the things that always interests me is propaganda, especially how to sell an unpalatable idea to the mass public. How do you make healthcare a bad thing? How do you make safe food seem evil? Does learning actually hurt you?

Learning Makes You Less Godly

The most head-scratching come from neo-nazis, though. In the good ol’ days of UseNet, I’d troll alt.nigger sometimes and never failed to marvel at the inconsistency of today’s modern racist. One of my favorite threads concerned the legitimacy of fucking Halle Berry since she was hot and light-skinned. As Strom Thurmond proved, pussy is pussy and the penis knows no color barriers.

I’m collecting video for a personal propaganda project (you’re welcome) and in the course of it all got a little stuck on nazi stuff. It’s quite an accomplishment to drive an entire nation into the acceptance of genocide. Think about it. How do you convince the vast majority of your citizens that the only way to save the country is to kill the Jews? I understand genocide where warring factions have always been at war. I understand the Hatfields and McCoys. And, sure, Jews aren’t strangers to persecution.  BUT – the whole nazi thing boggles the mind.

Today, I got stuck on the video section of the Vanguard News Network. I watched Dolly Parton’s first TV appearance. Blonde+White+Big Tits=Good.

I found a folk song to the misunderstood Rudolph Hess

And then I found a category called “techno”.

Techno? I’ve heard a couple of rave mixes of Hitler speeches but those were meant to be ironic. As I looked down the rather short list, I found

Taco. Puttin’ on the Ritz. An Indonesian born Dutch guy, probably gay, singing a song written by a Jew. On a racist website. To spare you having to watch it, I’ll tell you why it’s there: Because there are a few shots of dancers in black face. That’s it.

It sums up most fanatical movements that they’ll turn their back on their entire ideology even for the tiniest crumb of validation. I doubt that they even know Irving Berlin wrote that song. Even so, in every conceivable way, that video reeks of non-white power. But there’s 30 seconds of black face, and I guess that enough

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Hitler, Nazis, Poor Stupid White People Blatant Assholes, Hitler, Nazis, Poor Stupid White People

Let’s say that I believe so strongly that jaywalking presents such an imminent threat to society that draconian enforcement policies must be put in place or America will be destroyed. I come to the table and present my evidence showing that jaywalking increases the number of pedestrians hit by cars, which increases the number of broken bones, which increase ER visits, which increases the number of people who get addicted to oxycontin, which increases crime, which increases…well, you get the idea. I present my case passionately. I show myself to be a true believer and I will not back down until I single-handedly save America…with, of course the help of the lobbies for the companies that paint crosswalk lines.

Many boring hours later, I wrap up the presentation and open the floor for questions. A gentlemen stands up and asks, “what do you think should be done to jaywalkers?”

“Whatever you think is best,” I answer.

“No. I’m asking what YOU would do,” he responds.

“I’m saying that I’m comfortable with the penalty that you would impose,” I say politley.

“So, you don’t have an answer to the question,” he frowns.

“I’ve GIVEN you and answer to the question,” I tartly reply.

“No, you haven’t at all.  Let me ask again: what do you think should be done to jaywalkers?”

“And I told you, simply and directly, that I would do whatever you thought was best. Are you pro-jaywalking? Do you think people should be allowed to cross the street wherever they want when the overwhelming evidence shows that it could lead to the destruction of America?”

“Look,” he sputters, “I…”

“YOU’RE the one not answering the question! What do YOU think should be done?! When you can tell me what YOU think would be done with jaywalkers then you will know MY answer, but instead, you stand there refusing to talk civilly about this issue instead, preferring to berate ME and…”

This goes on for twenty minutes until the man finally walks away. And I declared victory.

This is exactly what happened on the Alan Colmes show when American Family Association fucktard, Bryan Fischer, came on to ostensibly defend his statement that

It might be worth noting that what I actually suggested is that we impose the same sanctions on those who engage in homosexual behavior as we do on those who engage in intravenous drug abuse, since both pose the same kind of risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. I’d be curious to know what you think should be done with IV drug abusers, because whatever it is, I think the same response should be made to those who engage in homosexual behavior.

(NOTE: Right Wing Watch has the audio with this segment)

I must insist that you listen to the whole thing. Everything you need to know about how completely fucked up xtians are gets wrapped up in one tidy package. Fischer lies and then refuses to listen to the refutation of those lies. Fischer, as Colmes points out to him, makes grand statements and then lacks the courage of his conviction to back those statements up. He plays circular logic games like the one above and, of course, talks over Colmes while Colmes tries to get through to him that they are coming up on break…which is even funnier because Fischer chides Colmes for doing that exact same thing at the top of the segment…and THEN demands respect “as a guest on your show.”

If you’re a student of the rhetorical tricks and semantic games that wingnuts (and sometimes liberals) use to avoid having to back up what they, this piece of audio is really all you’ll ever need to listen to. I despise the word “primer”, but that’s what it is.

In any other context, this might be the funniest Bob and Ray sketch ever written. Sadly, though, Fischer, though playing games, is deadly serious.

Hbee AFA, Alan Colmes, Blatant Assholes, Bryan Fischer, Head Shaking, xtians AFA, Alan Colmes, Blatant Assholes, Bryan Fischer, Head Shaking, xtians

Hey, remember a couple of years back when some miserable fanatics flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? Remember how wingnuts and xtians used the occasion to blame all of Islam because, effectively, the president of Islam didn’t condemn the attacks quickly, strongly or believably enough?

By that measure, the measure which they hold other religions to, all xtians believe Pat Robertson 100% that Haiti made a pact with the devil. True story.

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said on his Christian Broadcasting Network show. “They were under the heel of the French . . . and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’

“True story. And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’ ” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

How do we know this is true? Because in the 24hrs or so since Robertson vomited out his “blessing in disguise” not one xtian group has come forward to condemn him or his outward presentation of schizophrenia.

Christan Newswire is the place where xtians (and sometimes Christians) go to unleash their messages of love for homos, liberals, minorities and the current president.  Want to know about some preacher planning to bury himself alive for three days so he can return with a revelation? This is the place to go. Concerned Women For America shows their concern for women by decry rape exclusions in abortion. The American Family Association keeps you updated on who to hate. Randall Terry releases statements that dead abortion doctors had it coming to them.

And all of them speak for God and God says Haiti made a deal with Satan.

I don’t know exactly how far gone you have to be to actually buy into that. Apparently, if you’re an xtian, not very far.

So why haven’t the condemnations of Robertson flooded Christian Newswire like Christ’s blood dripping down his body on the cross? Because you don’t call your rich grandfather a “fucktard”. The xtain community knows that Pat still holds a lot of power.  Wanna take over the 700 Club? Wanna even be a guest on the 700 Club? Keep your mouth shut and nod…even when Grandpa calls you by the wrong name and tries to touch you when no one’s looking.

This kind of sin of commission (yes, D, I know it’s usually Catholic) is the kind of thing Christianity frowns on.  All the more reason to call out fake xtians when they allow their “leaders” to denigrate the victims of tragedy fairy tales and lies.

Let me be clear – it’s not that xtians hate black people. They just hate people in general. After all, that’s what Jesus would do.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Christians, Navel (Gazing At), Vomiting in My Mouth, Wingnuts, xtians Blatant Assholes, Christians, Navel (Gazing At), Vomiting in My Mouth, Wingnuts, xtians

Xtians want you to believe that if only the Muslim president converted to xtianity, everything would be ok. He’d understand that Jesus would waterboard terrorists before putting two Godly bullets through their skulls. He’d get that personally killing pre-borns contradicts God’s laws. Jesus would lead him to the founding of the American theocracy that God created America for.

You see, they’re not hateful. They want the best for the other 80% of the population that is not totally fucking insane. All they want is for the rest of us to understand that America needs to be saved before God can destroy it in the Armageddon.

But.

Converting to xtianity is not enough.

Apparently, Jesus doesn’t always save. It’s so confusing. Once upon a time, you turned your life over to Jesus and, BOOM, that was that. Past sins forgiven, milk and honey at the signing of the death certificate, moral clarity – in short, you, like the folks at Crosstalk, got a pre-approved ticket to Heaven. Guess not.

I’m not sure who gets to change the rules, but all signs point to Vic Eliason. Vic decided that just being xtian isn’t enough. Thus, even if President Obama converted to xtianity Vic still wouldn’t support him.

There’s really only one way that this works – Jesus can’t forgive all sins. If, after dedicating your life to Christ, your earthly judges (Vic, Jim and Ingrid, I guess) still find your soul tainted and wicked, then Jesus didn’t do His job very well.

Ok. I lied.  There’s another way it works. It works if Vic, Jim and Ingrid hold themselves pridefully above the rest of humanity in some special xtian skybox halfway between Heaven and Earth set up as Jesus’ hallway monitors. I’m a little rusty on my bible passages, but I’m sure they can tell me which chapter and verse gives them authority to judge the strength of someone’s faith.

Vic? Ingrid? Jim? Bueller?

Help me out, here.

Jesus Doesn’t Save

Caller: [I was asked] What if Obama had a conversion and got saved and became a Christian, what would your response be and my response sadly was, man, I’d start praying for him and asking God to protect him…

Sadly? Really? You’d be sad about an enemy of America converting from the dark side to the light side? I could have sworn that the a lost lamb coming back to the flock meant rejoicing. Boy! What a dumbass I am! It’s actually cause for regret and suspicion.

Still, Vic, as God’s Hallway Monitor, explains, after a conversion, it gets kicked up the chain of command to Vic, Jim and Ingrid. Only after they sign off on the new recruit, does God make the final judgment.  And, really, how can anyone know what God thinks. Maybe, Vic hints, God would kill the newly xtian Obama just to teach him a lesson.

Because, as stated earlier, Jesus can’t absolve all sins. Especially the sins of Socialism, Communism, Fascism, Saul Alinksy-ism and all those poor pre-borns that, had they been born, would have saved the Social Security system.

Hbee Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Religion, Republicana, Talk Radio, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Religion, Republicana, Talk Radio, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Wingnuts, xtians

The funny thing about Crosstalk is that you can spend 5000 words writing about it and still not do as good a job exposing them as hypocrites as they do themselves.

Matt Barber of oddly name Liberty Council came on the show NOT to bash gay people but to show how much xtians love them.  He did so by condemning gay people as violent, spittle spewing sinners possessed by demons.

Spittle Spewing Homos

The love continued with examples of how violent gay people stormed a church and…didn’t really hurt anybody.  Except the kids.  Who had to look at gay people.  And, I guess, all the closeted gays and lesbians mooning over the HOTT gay activists.

Violent Homos…That Don’t Hit People

And in the coup d’ grace (pretty gay phrase, huh?), Barber slits his own throat by blatantly laying all of his cards on the table.

HAHAHA!

Early in the program, my youngest daughter, sitting in bed, playing games on my iPod and listening, asked me, “how can you listen to this stuff??” By the last clip she was howling with laughter and derision.  Just as she should.

Never say I’m not a good dad! *laffin*

Hbee Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians

What’s in a name?  Kind of a lot, really.  Especially when you hold yourself up as a beacon of truth and justice.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made the mistake before.  In fact, I’m horrible with names.  For the longest time I was calling “David” “Keith” and I could only picture a friend of my wife’s as a blonde when she’s really a brunette.  So, perhaps I’m not really the one that should be talking about this.

But, then again, I’m not trying to bring down a Supreme Court nominee, either.

So when Mike “Mr. Bitter” Huckabee finds himself with such a massive erection over the nomination of “Maria Sotomayor” that he shoots first and apologizes later you have wonder if Mrs. Huckabee lives in a state of, shall we say, constant frustration.  See, “Maria” is a Mexican name and she’s a Mexican.  ALL Mexican are named Maria.  Makes perfect sense…if you’re a mindless fucktard with a BA in racism from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and you raised a son that kills dogs.  It’s an honest mistake to make for an xtian conservative to make.

Crosstalk America jumped on the bash-the-SCOTUS-nominee bandwagon, too, of course.  Apparently NOT legislating from the bench is just as bad a legislating from the bench.  So if the laws of New Haven, CT say a firefighter’s test is discrimatory and needs to be thrown out and the judge affirms the law – well, what does that say about how she’ll do on Roe v. Wade?  Despite the fact that she appears to have a balanced record when deciding cases.

A few shows ago, Vic and Jim chided the listeners for not doing their homework.  Apparently, too many xtians got the “Hate Crime” law mixed up with the “Hate Speech” law (xtian code for the Fairness Doctrine) and kept calling VCY for clarification like they were some kind of helpful experts or something.  To paraphrase – “We report – you decry.  If you’re too stupid to figure it out you deserve to listen to our show.”

Anywho – they, like Huckabee, rather than bother to check the name of the nominee they just called her whatever the felt like.  Maybe Jesus needed his hearing aid adjusted because they got her name wrong, too.

Perhaps America will get lucky and hundreds of thousands of xtians will call their senators telling them not to confirm Maria Solomayor and Sonia Sotomayor will sail right through.

There are so many better bloggers who can write from personal experience about how the political establishment still can’t come to grips with non-white Americans in the political system.  Anything I could say would just be a paraphrase of them so check out

Culture Kitchen

Jack and Jill Politics

The one point to bring up, though, is that non-whites are finally getting credit and recognition for what whites keep insisting they do – pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  Think back, for instance, the biography of Bill Clinton:  A poor kid that grew up in poverty, worked hard and became the President of the United States.  Inspiring, right?  Let’s start having the same sense of awe and appreciation for those who not only overcame poverty but a system that consistently favored whites over minorities.  Wingnuts love to go on and on about the evil of quotas.  They need to learn how to praise someone when they deserve praise rather drop back to their default position of “white makes right”.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Racism, Wingnuts Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Racism, Wingnuts

I need to channel my energy better.  I always mean to troll and end up engaging, instead.  There comes a point where distanced amusement turns to outright anger and OCDBPAC tends to find that point as easily as Deborah Jones finds the closet she keeps her strap-on hidden in so she and Joe can play Secretary.

The level of their denial rocks the brain and approaches Sinclairian standards.  Take the recent email sent by Mr. Jones (who, btw, has a thing going on).

According to the folks at YouTube, only 1,538 of you have listened to the new radio ad I recorded yesterday that takes Harry Reid to task for dishonoring our military men and women.  Friends, we have a lot more members than that so this means a lot of you have yet to listen to the ad.

Gosh, Lil’ Debbie, it’s almost like (how shall I put this) NO ONE FUCKING CARES.

I know that only a handful of people read this and I cherish every single one of you.  I might bitch about low numbers sometimes but, guess what, at the end of the day, it’s my problem.  I could write good old-fashioned earthy-crunchy “yay liberals” stuff.  I could jump on whatever band wagon Dkos hitched up for the day.  There are 12 gazillion ways to up the numbers to the point where the Google ad revenue would keep me rolling in clover.  The last thing I would do is send an email blaming you, my cherished readers, for not reading this enough.  Or not sending me money

Please take a moment to listen to the new ad below.  And if you agree with my message, then help me make sure every single voter in Nevada hears this ad next week, by making a contribution so we can purchase as much airtime as possible.

Translation, as if it were plain – “Waaaaaaah!  It’s YOUR fault if America turns into an athieistic, Socialist dictatorship because didn’t pay for my salary.”  But that’s not really the point.

Let me state that not all Republicans are wingnuts.  I know plenty of perfectly nice people who respectfully disagree me.  They don’t call me names.  They don’t besmirch my character.  As a result, we actually talk about things, which isn’t to say that things don’t get heated or that we’ll ever agree.

The classic wingnut just lies without any sense of remorse, conscience or fact.  Obama is not a socialist.  He does not hate the troops.  He is an American citizen.  He did not get blown in the back of a limo by a psychotic gay man.

The classic wingnut loves to call the left “Stalinist” implying that we insist on absolute and total fealty to the dogma laid down by the wingnut target du jour.  There are, of course, those who insist on lockstep adherence to liberal dogma.  I’ve heard plenty of conversations about how someone wasn’t “liberal enough”.  I have no use for those people.  However, they generally don’t take their dogma and go home.

Like OCDBPAC does.

I noticed a couple of days ago that the two copies of their emails that I usually got mysteriously became one copy.  Perhaps it’s because they read my responses to them and decided that I wasn’t on their list for the “right” reason. (Me so funny!)  All the more reason to subscribe with two different addresses.  It’s not the first time they’ve cut me off.  I’m kicked out of their Facebook group for pointing out that their math was heniously wrong when I came to interpreting polling data, a fact confirmed my wife who interprets data for a living.

Now, however, they’ve taken to deleting and banning comments on their idiotic YouTube radio ad.

It doesn’t seem to take much to get banned, either.  Just counter “Harry Reid hates the troops” with something true, like, say bush cut funding for veteran’s benefits.  Or that Walter Reed Hospital willfully and knowing neglected the veterans in their charge.  You’ll be banned in a heartbeat. In my case, I was banned after asking someone to read sources “outside your comfort zone if only to debunk them.”  How fucking incendiary am I?

To sum up – I was banned from Our Country Deserves Better PAC for

1) Disagreeing with them

2) Asking them to consider all sides of an issue

In short – I was banned for acting like an American.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Fucking Foul Mouthed Goddamn Liberal, Obama, Our Country Deserves Better PAC, Political Whatever, Poor Stupid White People, Republicana, Vomiting in My Mouth, Wingnuts Blatant Assholes, Fucking Foul Mouthed Goddamn Liberal, Obama, Our Country Deserves Better PAC, Political Whatever, Poor Stupid White People, Republicana, Vomiting in My Mouth, Wingnuts

I’m on a lot of wingnut mailing lists.  Every now and again, some press release or plea plea for money or request to step up the hate against Obama comes through and something just isn’t quite right.  Sure, they claim it’s not about hate but about protecting the country from horrible homo-loving, latte-sipping, book-reading socialists.  They even have names that make it clear that this is about bettering the country by using names like “Our Country Deserves Better Committee”.

Friendly!

And yet, something is missing.

Play along, won’t you?

Thank you!

As the Chief Strategist for the Our Country Deserves Better Committee (one of America’s largest conservative political action committees) I wanted to thank you for all the support you’ve given to our efforts to win the Special Election for Congress that takes place tomorrow (Tuesday).

We not only have faced a millionaire liberal Democrat (Scott Murphy) and all the money he put into his race, but we also have had to battle back against money and campaigning from Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi.  You’ve helped us ‘hold our own’ in this race, and kept the campaign competitive.

With just 2 days of campaigning left we are putting in the last minute contributions we receive into a final big push of radio and TV ads to win this race.  The polls show an absolute dead heat – it could come down to a handful of votes determining who wins, and the stakes are so high.  We must defeat Obama and Pelosi’s candidate and start to take back our country!

If you’re able to afford one last contribution to this campaign it would be very helpful in our efforts to secure victory.  We’ll be taking your contributions made throughout the day and purchasing more airtime for our final ad push.  The deadline for contributions to be received and used in our final push is 3:00 PM – TODAY (Monday).

Make your final, last-minute contribution online – CLICK HERE TO DONATE.

And again – our deepest appreciation and gratitude for all your efforts, kind words, and financial support!

SAL RUSSO – Chief Strategist, Our Country Deserves Better PAC

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Need a clue?  It’s a race to fill Hillary Clinton’s seat.

Need another?  We know that Scott Murphy is the evil, foul, venal, scumbag Democratic candidate.

But who’s he running against?

OOPS!  In their rush to demonize the opponent and to stoke the fires of hate, they forgot to included the name of the candidate they support.  It’s no small omission.  What it says is DON’T vote for Democrats.  They barely even care about who the Democrat is (since they put his name in parenthesises).  The shorter version, then, would be

Give us money to defeat Democrats.  You don’t need to know anything else.

Our country really does deserve better than hate merchants like this.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Navel (Gazing At), News, Political Whatever, Republicana, Wingnuts Blatant Assholes, Navel (Gazing At), News, Political Whatever, Republicana, Wingnuts

Remember before the election I was saying some non-mean things about Faux Noise?  Hoo!  Dunno what I was thinking or even if I was thinking.  Anywho…

When I was 19-ish, I moved back home (and this was before it was trendy).  I’d done a year of college in a theater program and gotten an offer to keep on with the children’s theater I’d worked with over the summer.  The theater was in the town my parents lived in.  Serendipity!  Even more so, my mom had moved out temporarily leaving my dad to fend for himself.  So if I wasn’t exactly welcome, I was useful.  For a while, at least.

Then there came the day where I got the ultimatum or the GTFOOMH speech.  He yelled.  I yelled.  Conditions and counter-conditions flew.  I couldn’t put up with him.  He couldn’t put up with me.  I still kinda needed his money, though, and he hated grocery shopping and doing the dishes.  In the end, he gave me a month to get out.  I got out in two weeks.  I’d lost that symbiotic feeling.

The moral?  Where there’s a will there’s a way and no matter how broke you are, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

I buckled down, stopped drinking my money away (for a little while) and made it work.  It wasn’t that hard.

So, now we have AIG that wants to leach off the taxpayers much like I leeched off my dad.  And they’re all pissy because we asking them to be in by midnight, make sure the car is gassed up and not piss away millions of dollars on retention bonuses for the people the fucked up the company and then left rich.  But they still want our money.  Even though other sections of the company are doing fine.

And along comes Chris “I’ll Have The Reagan Black Hair Dye” Wallace who, despite theorectically understanding capitalism, still thinks like a socialist.  Or a really bad parent.

Listen to Chris Wallace:  Suuuuper Genius

Chris – listen up:  No private company has to take money from the government.  Ever.  If it does, though, it is beholden to the government and therefore the people, because it took our money.  Corporatons should NOT get free, no-strings-attached money to do with what they wish.  That’s called “welfare”, Chris.  And as you and the rest of Fucked News love to point out – it’s a dis-incentive.  Give corporations free money with no responsibility and the next thing you know, AIG will be hanging out on streets corners, getting girls pregnant and then leaving them without a father.

Chris – you should know better than that.  No company needs to “do business” with the US Government.  For you to suggest they would want to suggests that you don’t even understand the whole conservative “small government” thing.  Let me explain – if you screw up you shouldn’t look to the government bail you out.  That’s not what the government is for.  You can’t disparage Obama for running up a deficit bailout loser companies and then complain that said losers have to do something stupid like follow rules.  M’kay?

Chris – put the football helmet on and apologize to your dad.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, News, Obama, Political Whatever, Ridicule, Wingnuts Blatant Assholes, News, Obama, Political Whatever, Ridicule, Wingnuts

[Note - Please do NOT ask me for my source.  I will NOT give it up.  I will spend the rest of my life in jail for contempt before I give up Judith Miller.]

Blagojevich:  Ok, motherfuckers, let me start by saying “FUCK YOU”.  Got it?  Was I speaking to quickly?  FUCK YOU.  You cocksuckers think I’m going down here?  You got another motherfucking thing coming to to you.  I am NOT fucking leaving this office until I’m given every fucking goddamn thing I’m fucking owed.  Who the hell do you think you goddamn fucks are, anyway?  The fucking pope?  No fucking way.

…

Stupid fucks, you can kiss my lily-white fucking Chicago ass…

…

Suck it.  I’m fucking serious.  Every single one of you fucks.  Form a goddamn line.

…

I had to beat Rachel Maddow off with a goddamn broomstick just to get out of the fucking building.  THAT’S the kind of badass motherfucker you’re fucking dealing with.  Got it?

I’m assured this will all be on the teleprompter for him.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Conspiracy, Navel (Gazing At), Vomiting in My Mouth Blatant Assholes, Conspiracy, Navel (Gazing At), Vomiting in My Mouth