In Which They’re Apple Assholes
[Scene - At home in my comfy chair when a call comes from a friend having trouble with a 1st Gen iMac which doesn't have built in wireless. The Apple Store told him that he HAD to upgrade his iMac to 10.5 in order to run the latest version of TurboTax...and more memory to run 10.5...and leave his computer for a week...and not put the files back in their proper place when they're done. Anyway, he gets it home and...the USB wireless adapter doesn't work with 10.5. After playing around with it, it becomes clear he needs a new adapter. "I'll just go to the Apple Store," he said with chipper optimism. We'll pick it up from there.]
Voicemail from R.: Hi, Paul. Well, I think that they sold me a router instead of a wireless network thingy like you told me to get. It just doesn’t look like the thing that it should be. Can you give me a call? I haven’t been online forever and I can’t do email on my Treo anymore. Gimme a call, k?
[Paul calling the Apple Store and getting connected to an Apple Genius]
Paul: Hi, I need to find a wireless USB network card that’ll work on 10.5 for the Mac mini.
Apple Store Service: A what?
Paul: A wireless USB network card that runs under 10.5.
ASS: So, you want to connect to a wireless network.
Paul: Uh. Yeah. I do.
ASS: I don’t think we have that.
Paul: You don’t have a wireless adapter?
ASS: Well, Apple doesn’t make that kind of thing.
Paul: O-o-ok. Can you help me find something that’ll work under 10.5?
ASS: Well, Apple doesn’t do that kind of peripheral.
Paul: Yeah. I get it. So, what you’re saying is that the Apple Store doesn’t know anything about wireless networking under 10.5.
ASS: Well, Apple doesn’t -
Paul: I understand Apple doesn’t do external wireless cards. But you’re saying that you have absolutely no idea of any external wireless adapters that work under 10.5.
ASS: Sir, we – what kind of a Mac is it?
Paul: An old Mac Mini that didn’t come with wireless.
ASS: Umm…can you hang on? Let me put you back to inventory.
Paul: Thanks.
[Several minutes after listening to music that's too hip for me]
ASS 2: Inventory!
Paul: I need an external wireless adapter that works under 10.5.
ASS 2: Well, Apple -
Paul: …doesn’t do that kind of peripheral. I know. So does that mean that this guy will be forced to hook up via wired or not at all?
ASS 2: What kind of a Mini is it?
Paul: The kind without wireless.
ASS 2: Oh. There used to be kits to install wireless into that kind of Mac. Let me check to see if we have any.
Paul: Thanks
[Several more minutes after listening to music that's too hip for me]
ASS 2: Thanks for waiting. No. They’ve discontinued those.
Paul: So you’re telling me that there’s no way to hook up wirelessly with this version under 10.5
ASS 2: There might be some third party solutions
Paul: REALLY?? DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE???
ASS 2: Well, you could try MacMall.
Paul: But you, the Apple Genius, are unable to tell me about of them. Have I got that right? You don’t know any solution to getting a Mac without wireless working wirelessly under 10.5. I’m just trying to make sure I understand that you can give me absolutely NO HELP in solving this problem with a Mac.
ASS 2: (Testy) Apple does not have a peripheral that will do that.
Paul: So it can’t be done. Got it.
ASS 2: You could -
Paul: You’ve been incredibly unhelpful. Thanks.
[Click]
I’m not saying that all peripherals under XP worked under Vista. I’m not a member of the Window/PC jihad. But this kind of “it’s not Apple and we won’t help you” shit is one of the major drawbacks of Apple.
uh Paul
Ask Larry on some pointers on how to sue those lousy !@#$% maybe
I never really liked Apple, but I don’t necessarily have an affinity for PCs, either.
Customer service has always been a nightmare, since its inception. It’s best just to try and figure these things out on your own.
I recall a time in which my wireless card wasn’t working with my grandpa’s wireless internet (he likes to be hip). I’ve never had any problems with my XPS M1210 notebook other than that.
Well, after sitting on the phone with Dell Tech support for two hours, they came to the same conclusion I had: it was simply incompatible.
Thanks, Dell, you assholes.
Hi there,
Not to be an Apple douche, but I think I can help you a little. And, I know why the “Genius” was likely confused.
First, is it a Mac Mini or an iMac, I saw both in your description above. If it’s a mini, internally it has a slot for an Airport card (Mac’s internal wireless device). If it’s an early gen iMac, it probably has an internal slot as well, but without knowing which flavor, harder to say. It’s an easy upgrade if the slot is there, and way, way, way more reliable than any external USB solution.
The problem is the Apple geniuses, and anyone in the store, doesn’t really have any training in third party anything. They understand wireless as Apple’s routers (Airport hub (older), Airport Extreme and Airport Express) connecting to an Airport card (internal wireless access). All Apple, all proprietary. Occasionally, an uber-geeky genius will no about third party stuff, but they are not trained, because it’s not a margin to the company.
(For example, I almost always know more about the available hacks and dates for releases and stuff, because I read the interwebs, than the kids at the store. I’ve explained stuff in the store to other patrons with the Apple folks thanking me. I’m chatty.)
I think the problem really started with the upgrade to 10.5, since that’s not actually a great solution depending on your computer specs. That OS sort of presupposes all of of things, like seemless (non-USB) wireless. I wouldn’t put Vista on an older PC for much the same reasons.
Anywho. In your neighborhood, the best retail support for THIRD PARTY solutions would NOT be the Apple Store. I would go to Microcenter on Mem Drive. The guy at the Apple desk in the back of the store usually knew a few workarounds, three years ago when I was last there.
For some stuff I go to resellers (like third party and workarounds), for other stuff I go to Apple. No different than I would with Dell or HP, really.
Send me specs if you want real help. I’m actually surprised that a software upgrade would be required for Turbo Tax. I’ll go home and check my box, since I have 2008 lying around but haven’t gotten it up to think about taxes.
Just a tip.. you may want to change up your attitude when you call a retail store. Understand that not EVERYONE you talk to will be an expert on EVERY obscure 3rd party work around. If you get frustrated easily and it comes out in your voice, no one’s going to “want” to help you. That’s the key. It’s not “correct” that it happens.. but it does.
Also… why in the hell would you call a retail store.. Apple store whatever… to do this kind of research. They’re busy. They have customers in the store they’re trying to assist. You could have gone on the internet, Googled the answer for yourself.. then found out a retailer that offered the product, and called to see if they had one in stock.
Call me crazy, but that seems like the most logical choice.