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Freqently, when I start reading policy papers, I fall asleep after a couple of pages or my inner twelve-year old reminds me that I only have a few more days with that GameCube game I rented.  This is why, despite my best intentions, I’m pretty hacky when it comes to politics.  I just can’t focus no matter how much Adderall I swallow.  Yet our brand new National Security Stragey paper holds me spellbound.

From the opening paragraph

It is the policy of the United States to seek and support democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.  In the world today, the fundamental character of regimes matters as much as the distribution of power among them.  The goal of our statecraft is to help create a world of democratic, well-governed states that can meet the needs of their citizens and conduct themselves responsibly in the international system.  This is the best way to provide enduring security for the American people. [Emphasis added]

It reads like a railroad (in both senses of the word) that says “well, you can sell us your land or we’ll take it.”

As I read, I keep thinking, “it can’t get any worse”.  And yet, it does.

Governments that honor their citizens’ dignity and desire for freedom tend to uphold responsible conduct toward other nations, while governments that brutalize their people also threaten the peace and stability of other nations.

Which is to say that “freedom fries” is a more than reasonable response to a country that disagrees with the doctrine of “first strike” against a sovereign state.  Brutalizing your own people = Bad.  Brutalizing a non-democracy = good.

And on it goes.

Effective democracies:

• Honor and uphold basic human rights, including freedom of religion, conscience, speech, assembly, association, and press; (Including not joining the International Criminal Court as it may rule against you and voting against the UN Human Rights Council.)
• Are responsive to their citizens, submitting to the will of the people, especially when people vote to change their government; (For instance, allowing someone who lost the popular vote to become President.)
• Exercise effective sovereignty and maintain order within their own borders, protect independent and impartial systems of justice, punish crime, embrace the rule of law, and resist corruption (“Justice Alito?  It’s Jack Abramoff on the line.  He’s got a client interested in grabbing the land those now illegal abortion clinics are on to build a biochemical weapons lab on.  Shall I put him through?”); and
• Limit the reach of government, protecting the institutions of civil society, including the family, religious communities, voluntary associations, private property, independent business, and a market economy. (“Hi, Mr. Abramoff.  Justice Alito will be right with you.  He’s just putting the final touches on the outlawing of gay people ruling.”)

You keep reading and pray that a winky smiley face will show up and make everything ok.  “JUST KIDDING!  This whole thing has been a puckish satire on the perception that America wants to bully the rest of the world into submission!  We don’t want to do that!  That would be CRAZY!  See, the whole thing is SUPPOSED to sound like a Soviet world-domination manifesto where you substitute ‘Democracy’ for ‘Communism’!  It’s like a Mad Lib!  Too subtle?”  But it doesn’t.

Democracy is the opposite of terrorist tyranny, which is why the terrorists denounce it and are willing to kill the innocent to stop it .  Democracy is based on empowerment , while the terrorists’ ideology is based on enslavement . Democracies expand the freedom of their citizens , while the terrorists seek to impose a single set of narrow beliefs .  Democracy sees individuals as equal in worth and dignity , having an inherent potential to create and to govern themselves . The terrorists see individuals as objects to be exploited, and then to be ruled and oppressed .

I could go on forever.  Long story short:  We’re invading Iran by July. And even though

Terrorism is not simply a result of hostility to U.S. policy in Iraq. The United States was attacked on September 11 and earlier, well before we toppled the Saddam Hussein regime. Moreover, countries that stayed out of the Iraq war have not been spared from terror attack.

bush will continue to not understand that throwing water on a grease fire doesn’t actually put the fire out.

Sorry.  I lied.  He does understand that.  I’ve said it before – hardcore born-again Christians actively work to book Jesus’ return trip to Earth.  By necessity, this entails the Earth’s destruction and we all die.  Unless, of course, you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior and God (or Jesus…I get so confused) lifts you up into Heaven during The Rapture. 

This administration feels it has nothing to lose.  Convert the world to DemoChristcy or destroy it.  Same difference.  The important thing is that Jesus wins.

(Cheap, ironic post-script:  This paradigm actually promotes the bush-Nazi paralell since both advocate the destruction of the Jews.)

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