Archive for March, 2012

In Which I Wish Ayn Rand A Happy Death Day

March 7th, 2012 No comments

Happy Ayn Rand is dead day!

Seriously! I’m glad she’s dead. It should be celebrated in the same way that Idi Amin’s death should be celebrated – that evil has finally gone back to mixing bowl until the next batch of evil is ready to go get cooked up.

The point of life, and I don’t I’m being too broad here, is to act like what most people consider to be “adult”. Rand’s philosphy is easily summed up in a sentence: “I’m taking my ball and going home.”

Normal people, AKA: Humans, would see an accident and call for help. Someone is in trouble and a life might be at risk. Objectivists would look at that accident and, if it wasn’t going to make them late for work, would drive on by. After all, they didn’t cause it. Whoever did cause it obviously did something wrong, showing a lack of understanding about driving. On top of that, they have a cell phone they can call for help with and if they don’t, they need to get a job. And what are they doing with a car?
I’ve spoken about Rand in a previous podcast which is why I probably got tapped to talk about how happy I am that she’s dead. Seriously. I’m tickled pink! But let me give a quick overview for the uninitiated. Rand came from the Russian privileged class right at the time of the Russian Revolution. As a result, the Communists took her pony away and her parents sent her to the US by herself. And she really loved that pony! It was HER pony, not the Communists’ pony! Somebody else had worked really hard to give her the pony and so she founded Objectivism which states that what you work for belongs to you and everyone else is a leach.  Oh. And her mommy didn’t love her. Once in the US, she got married and became an adulteress who freaked out when her boyfriend started banging other women. She went on to author several books of middle-brow pornography disguised as economic and social philosophy, became a speed freak and died.
Which is why the Christian Right loves her.  Nothing says “Jesus” like devoting your life to dwelling on a childhood trauma. Actually, if Jesus acted like Ayn Rand, he’d be slumped on a barstool, hopped up
on speed muttering, “and then my FUCKING FATHER tells me, ‘heads up, Jesus, you’re gonna be crucified.’ CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT!? And the Romans are all like ‘yeah, that’s cool.’ People SUCK.”

But I digress.

The true evil of Rand is that some of what she says makes sense. Personal responsibility is important.  You can’t caretake everyone in the world. And that’s for a couple of different reasons.  The first is that some people don’t want to be taken care of. They look at freedom as…well…freedom.  They’re more than happy to squat in a vacant building furnished with stuff other people throw away. They’re happy to live for free. The second is that some people are just assholes and users and should be scorned by society. What Rand does, and this is a throwback to her childhood, is that she assumes that if you don’t have your own pony, you want hers. She promotes a fascist paradigm in which you are sub-human if you don’t have what she has. If you don’t, you’re an asshole and a user.

It should be easy to see why socially awkward adolescent males flock to Rand’s philosophy.  Have you looked at a picture of Rand disciple and former chairman of the Federal Reserve Alan Greenspan?
Yeah. It’s like that.

Like most ideology, the adoption of Rand’s philosophy was a fluke. And, like most ideology, it created rabid jihadist adherents. The difference is that the starting point of Rand’s philosophy is that pretty much everyone sucks. Everyone wants her pony.  At the height of the cold war, when it was better to be dead than red, sharing and helping your neighbor was seen to be evil.  Stalin didn’t help disabuse the world of that notion.

As a socially awkward adolescent male, I fell for Objectivism. And, frankly, it’s tough to shake sometimes. Like herpes, you never really get rid of it. The best you can do is warn others against the dangers of it and quarantine yourself when you feel the onset of a flare up.

Happy death day, Ayn Rand! The world is a better place without you.

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