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In Which He Is Helpful

May 12th, 2011 No comments

The following came to me from the BBN email address

From: Redacted
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 9:16 PM
To: billybob@billybobneck.com
Subject: writer’s question

Hello,

I’m hoping you’ll help me out, please.

I’m writing a novel and in it are characters who are Republicans and those that are Democrats. I’m trying to come up with realistic discussions they might have together (if everyone stayed calm – hard to do!). Would you please help me with the Republican side? I have a Republican friend here in Boulder who has agreed to help, but the more brains I can pick, the better! I want both sides to appear sympathetic – to get them in a dialogue where they both make reasonable arguments.

So, for example, if one character says, “Republicans just want things to be fair.”
“Fair? Like what?” Carole asked.
“Fair – that the politically powerful shouldn’t make rules that screw the little guy.”
Would you personally agree with that statement? Can you please tell me what the character might say to explain – give examples of – that statement?

Or if Carole, the Democrat says, “Republicans generally don’t know it, but they’re being led by the super-rich, who want only to get richer. They want what’s best for themselves. They would rather make money than protect the earth, the poor, the children. They’d rather schools, poverty programs and clinics close down if it means topping off their own coffers. It’s a question of greed.”
What would you have my Republican character, Peter say to set Carole straight?

Finally, when my character Carole accuses President Bush of making up the existence of WMDs in order to go to Iraq to acquire control of that country’s oil reserves, what would a Republican character say to her to convince her otherwise?

If you have ideas for other ‘conversations’ my characters could have, I’m all ears!!!

Many thanks,
Andra Stanton
www.[a website about exercise for the infirm].com
==============================

From: Billy Bob Neck [mailto:billybob@billybobneck.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 7:37 PM
To: Redacted
Subject: RE: writer’s question

Lie-beral: Why can’t we kill babies in the name of Satan? The constitution says that we have freedom of religion and I’m a Satanist and Satan wants dead babies to appease him.
Republican: I know that you don’t understand what “morals” are because you don’t know Jesus, but what you’re talking about is immoral.
Lie-beral: So you’re saying religion is immoral.
Republican: No. I’m saying YOUR religion is immoral because it’s not a religion. If you are weren’t high on drugs all the time like your president is, you’d understand that.
Lie-beral: My religion mandates that I take as much drugs as I can. Satan says it quiets the screams of the babies we kill and blunts our senses.
Republican: I don’t take drugs because Jesus didn’t take drugs. I only have heterosexual sex in the missionary position for the sake of procreation because that’s what it says in Leviticus.  So you can believe that my eyes are wide open when I tell you that not only are you hurting the country with your anti-American fake religion but you’re harming the country, too.
Lie-beral: I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. But how can Jesus love me? Me! A baby-killing Satanist?
Republican: Just let him come into your heart and your sins will be washed away in the non-AIDS tainted blood of the lamb.
Lie-beral: I WILL! I ACCEPT HIM!

I hope that helps, pumpkin.

Billy Bob Neck
billybob@billybobneck.com
(617) 297-2463

God is Love!

===========================
From: Redacted
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 9:16 PM
To: billybob@billybobneck.com
Subject: RE: writer’s question

Not really, but I appreciate your reply.

Best Wishes

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