Tonight, I don’t want to address “my fellow Americans”. Tonight, I’d like to address the Americans who hate me. I’d like address those Americans who for whatever reason felt it necessary, despite holding a US passport which requires proof that I was born in the United States of America, to say that I was not born in the United States of America.
Here’s the birth certificate that you want. Now go fuck yourselves.
Now, you’re going to say that it’s fake. You’re going to say that my “homies” in the “hood” needed two years to put together a fake birth certificate that could pass for real. You’re going to say because there’s no religion listed on it that if proves that my mom and dad were communists who raised me for the sole purpose of destroying America.
Amongst any sane country or peoples, this birth certificate would put an end to it. I know that it won’t. I know that this cottage industry that’s sprung up around the let’s-hate-Obama club generates too much money to shut down. And to those of you, like Chris Matthews, who said “well, just release it already and put an end to it”, I’m gonna say – watch and see. It’s not going to put an end to it because we’re dealing with playground bullies. You know how playground bullies act. It goes like this
Bully: What did you say about my mother?
Victim: I didn’t say anything about your mother.
Bully: My friend said you did. Are you calling my friend a liar?
And then you either kick their ass or they kick yours. Now, you can try to avoid it and just walk away and sometimes that works. You want to know why I spent “millions of dollars to keep it hidden”, that’s why. Because we both know that nothing I do will satisfy you. I gave you my short-form birth certificate and it wasn’t enough.
You’re going to continue your own personal jihad against me. You’re going to lie about every single thing I do. You’re going to say I’m a socialist. You’re going to call me a communist. You’re going to say I’m not a Christian because I didn’t make an Easter proclamation even though no sitting President of the United States of America has never made an Easter proclamation. You’re going to call end-of-life counseling “death panels”. I, like every other president, followed diplomatic protocol and bowed to the president of Japan. When I do it, it’s proof that I want to make America subservient to the rest of the world. When president Bush spread democracy to the Middle East he was doing the right thing. When I do it, I’m wasting tax payer money. When president Bush bailed out the banks he was saving the economy. When I bailed out the car industry it was proof that I was a socialist.
During the election, John McCain rarely wore a flag pin. Through some bizarre alchemy, that didn’t mean that he hated America. John McCain was born in Panama and yet nobody questioned whether he was American. I don’t really know how that works.
Today, as I release my birth certificate, the thing that those who hate me say will satisfy them that I am, in fact, eligible to be President of the United States, I have a very important message to them.
Fuck off and claim back into your trailers.
Now. To my fellow Americans – those who agree with my policies and those who don’t – is this the America you want? I’m not talking about foreign, domestic or economic policy. I’m talking about the kind of country that the rest of the world perceives us as. Right now, we look like idiots. And it’s not because of me. There is a book about to be released that claims to prove that I’m not eligible to be president. A book. A full length book. Jerome Corsi wrote a couple of hundred pages about how I’m not an American. Guess what?
Here’s my birth certificate.
Anybody wanna cancel their order on Amazon.com?
I’m gonna be honest. This hasn’t been easy for me or my family. It hasn’t been easy to see the citizens of the land of the free and the home of the brave so easily manipulated into believing lies. When I first considered running for the presidency, I knew what I was in for. I’ve dealt with it all my life. I’d like to ask each of you tonight to imagine the feeling of having organizations like Fox News and the Tea Party dedicated to personally destroying your character and talking about your mother.
To those who identify as Christians, I want you to grab a copy of the Ten Commandments and look at the 9th one. Thou shalt not bear false witness. After you’ve read that, I want you to go over www.worldnetdaily.com and read about how my mother was a whore. And how they know for a fact that when I say I’m a Christian that I’m lying. And then listen to Franklin Graham talking about how he can’t be sure whether I’m a Christian or a Muslim or an Atheist because only God knows that but that he’s sure that everyone that pays to get into his rallies are Christians.
Look. I understand that people lie. The Tea Party lies. Fox News lies. MSNBC lies. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I lied sometimes. I didn’t quit smoking. I’m not going to make good on my promises of standing with the unions. Apparently, I’m not anti-stupid war. But there is a fundamental difference between political lies and personal lies.
There are many in America that call the US a Christian nation. The ease with which Christians here turn their back on the Ten Commandments proves that it’s not.
I’m an American. I’m a Christian. I’m the President of the United States. If you don’t like me, vote me out of office. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.