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Archive for December, 2009

In Which Xmas Is The Time For Being Judgmental

December 17th, 2009 No comments

Round 5 of The Last Temptation of Christmas ended in yet another tie, ensuring that round 6 must take place.

For those not in the know, The Last Temptation of Christmas is a battle of the Christmas songs. It works like this

Derek Gerry plays some crappy Christmas song

I play a better one

Robby Roadsteamer and Tony Moschetto decide which song is better.

Given the fact that we’ve tied for three years running, obviously they are not the best judges.

Still – it’s a helluva a lot of fun!

The Last Temptation of Christmas Round 5

In Which CrossTalk Comedy Writes Itself

December 13th, 2009 No comments

The funny thing about Crosstalk is that you can spend 5000 words writing about it and still not do as good a job exposing them as hypocrites as they do themselves.

Matt Barber of oddly name Liberty Council came on the show NOT to bash gay people but to show how much xtians love them.  He did so by condemning gay people as violent, spittle spewing sinners possessed by demons.

Spittle Spewing Homos

The love continued with examples of how violent gay people stormed a church and…didn’t really hurt anybody.  Except the kids.  Who had to look at gay people.  And, I guess, all the closeted gays and lesbians mooning over the HOTT gay activists.

Violent Homos…That Don’t Hit People

And in the coup d’ grace (pretty gay phrase, huh?), Barber slits his own throat by blatantly laying all of his cards on the table.

HAHAHA!

Early in the program, my youngest daughter, sitting in bed, playing games on my iPod and listening, asked me, “how can you listen to this stuff??” By the last clip she was howling with laughter and derision.  Just as she should.

Never say I’m not a good dad! *laffin*

In Which Dialog Is A One-Way Dynamic

December 7th, 2009 No comments

Crosstalk America is not a religious show.  Anyone who listens to even the smallest snippet of it should come to that conclusion.  The show is about dogma and fear.  What little religion that pokes its head up from the slimy depths of the studio serves only to enforce the hatred du jour.  When hosting, Vic Eliason, the head brown-shirt, acts as grandpa with a tri-cornered blade and  basement full of crosses marking the graves of the sinners he correctly garroted in the name of Jesus.

Vic cannot have an honest debate.  When backed into a corner and called on his bullshit he defaults to the following steps

  1. The caller makes their point
  2. Vic tries to spin it
  3. The caller begins to push back
  4. Vic interrupts the caller in his folksy fashion to play the “we’re having a dialog” card
  5. The caller, annoyed about the interruption, continues to try to have the dialog that Vic just effectively ended
  6. Vic, the taste of blood and victory in his mouth, terminates the call, blaming the victim for his own rudeness in interrupting.
  7. He then laments that “some people” (code word the un-godly) care nothing about “dialog” and only call to push their evil agenda.

Of course, no mention of their own agenda makes it into that statement.  This happens over and over on the show and I’ve talked about it before.  What makes this clip different comes during the sermonette at the end.

Three things to listen for –

The first is the word “filibuster”.  During the bush years, filibuster meant evil.  It’s what “lie-berals” did to hold up the nomination of racist, though xtian, judges.  It’s what “dumbo-crats” used to attempt block legislation to stop funding of the effective program of giving condoms to countries with high rates of HIV in favor of the ineffective program of abstinence only.  Now, with the advent of socialist health and the destruction of America (TM), “filibuster” is a good word again.  Vic’s negative use of the word points up the bastardization of the language and the adaptability of true believers to switch contexts at the drop of the hat.  It’s a nice little Pavlovian trick. I don’t mean to imply that my side of the fence doesn’t do the same thing – but Vic’s mastery of verbal cues approaches evil brilliance.

The second points out the de-facto fascism of the show. “I happen to be the person that holds the control here.” Pretty straight forward – disagree with me and break my arbitrary decisions as to how much dialog I allow you and you’re gone.  Doing radio myself, though, this is more of a slip than it sounds like. The point he wanted to make was his fingers decide whether or not he’ll allow you to speak.  As such, he works the “controls”. In switching from the proper plural use to the singular use implying action, rather then object, he betrays his true agenda – xtian Stalinism

The third illustrates the basic hypocrisy of Crosstalk America – “We’re not going to let you abuse the program just because you want to be rude”. Really? Listen to the call again.

Vic: …Wouldn’t you agree that that’s a problem?

Caller: But that’s the way it’s always been…

Vic: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait a minute Maria. Take a breath. We’re going to have some dialog…

After the break, Vic turns on the condescension, explaining to Maria, whose call has been terminate, the rules of dialog. “I wish Maria had stayed on the line because we could have had dialog. Which means you make a statement, take a breath and let someone respond.” Obviously, Vic doesn’t have to play by his own rules.  He made a statement (to which Maria respectfully listened), asked a question and then cut off her response.

In the eyes of Crosstalk America, Jesus, apparently, was a passive-aggressive hypocrite.

Shut Up – We’re Having A Dialog And You Kept Talking

PS: If you’re new to the horror that is Crosstalk America, this show acts as a perfect primer, containing all the wingnuts talking points including the old “let’s stop blaming bush’s incompetence for state we’re in. After all, Obama promised to fix everything right away and we’ve successfully stopped him from doing that.” As an added bonus, you’ll get “Obama kind of sent more troops to Afghanistan and kinda listened to the generals BUT HE DIDN’T DO IT WHEN WE TOLD HIM TO SO HE IS EVIL” meme.

In Which I Tell A Brief Story And Leave The Moral To The Reader

December 5th, 2009 No comments

Once upon a time in a mythical land there lived a people that were very happy.  They worshiped love and tolerance and understanding and truly wanted to make the world a better place.  It was lovely.  For his part, the king kept his mouth shut and did the things that kings do – organizing, paying for things and poking the occasional maiden or two.  Once in a while, he got a little autocratic but kings aren’t perfect and neither are you.

On a fall day, the king (who had told the queen he was off hunting boar for a bit) heard a commotion in the village.  One of the not-so-nice people from the next kingdom over was chatting away with his subjects. This particular person had a tendency to voice some not-so-nice opinions about the people of a kingdom the king considered to be very-quite-nice.  And there were his own very-quite-nice subjects idly chatting away with and seemingly enjoying the company of this not-so-very nice person!

Unbelievable!

The king stormed into the town square raging and bellowing like a bull moose.  “How dare you, my very-quite-nice subjects who care only for love and tolerance, associate with this not-so-very nice person!  What be you thinking?!”

“But,” offered a sheepish subject, “he brought by a sheep for my family when ours was killed by a wolf.  Without it, we would have no wool.  It’s a very kind thing to do!”

“That matters not,” huffed the king. “He is a not-so-very nice person.”

“And,” offered another plucky subject, “he taught my son how to play the lute.”

“That matters not,” huffed the king. “He is a not-so-very nice person and when you associate with a not-so-very nice person, you become not-so-very nice yourself!  Do you not see that!  Renounce him and become very-quite-nice again!”

Not all the subjects would, though many did.

One subject, perhaps a tad unkindly, pointed out the king was acting like a not-so-very nice person himself.  This did not sit well with the king and he waxed wroth.

“Really,” said the subject, “don’t you think that, rather adhering to our doctrine of love and tolerance and understanding, you’re being kind of fascist?”

And to prove that he was not a fascist, the king banned the subject from the kingdom and peace was restored.

The End

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