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In Which I Post Someone Else’s Letter

March 31st, 2009 No comments

[Note – Newton Wilcox on the Board of Directors of www.shelleytherepublican.com, which is to say he’s a fucking nutcase.  This letter was leaked to me anonymously and is posted without comment.]

Dear Mr. Justice Scalia

It goes without saying that God is the judge of us all, but until Jesus returns to earth to judge the naked and the dead (and if they’re naked it’s pretty much assured that they’re going to Hell) then you, and NOT Barney Frank, are the right man for the job. How dare he call you a homophobe!? This “politically correct” term is used simply to demonize those who hate gay people. I hate broccoli. Does that make me a broccoli-phobe? According to Mr. Barney Frank, I guess that it does. I guess you’d better just ship me off to Barack HUSSIEN Obama’s food re-education camps that he’s setting up even as we speak. What kind of country has America become when you are forced to not only eat but to enjoy hummus? I guess you can call it “change” but I, for one, do not believe in it.

You well know, sir, that God founded America to spread democracy and the English language throughout the rest of the world. If this isn’t true, then why was the Bible written in English?! (And, parenthetically, thanks to President Bush Iraquis are now beginning to put u’s after q’s the way they’re supposed to. Mission accomplished!) As you said so eloquently in your dissent against the decision to let Texas become an openly homosexual state, the “agenda promoted by some homosexual activists [is] directed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally attached to homosexual conduct.” If I was a smarter man, I’d understand all of those words but it seems pretty clear that you understand that the homosexual agenda wants nothing more than to make all heterosexuals get divorced and force them to “marry” someone of their own sex. We know this to be true because Dr. Dobson and the Rev. Ted Haggard have told us so.

What’s less known, and the reason for this letter, is that all of this is being driven by the powerful Unitarian Universalist lobby in Congress. How do we know this? All you have to do is follow the money. Who stands to gain from homosexual marriage and the destruction of the moral fabric of our society? Unitarians, that’s who. Besides Satanists, Unitarians are the only other “religion” that performs “same-sex” ceremonies. Thus, the Unitarians stand to gain untold riches from fulfilling Satan’s plan of turning America from a once proud and powerful capitalistic country bursting with nuclear weapon capabilities into a filthy, third world hippie commune overseen by Charles Manson. Was Jesus killed by the Jews for this? I think not.

I’d like to personally thank you for standing up for the American values of traditional marriage and Christianity as laid out in the Constitution of this great country of ours. I’d also like to thank you for helping Justice Thomas get comfortable with a job that seemed to be pretty much over his head. Fortunately, you’ve told him how to vote and everything has worked out for the best.

In closing, let me just say that you are my favorite Supreme Court Justice even though you’re a Catholic and you can look forward to my vote in 2012 to keep you on the court!

Yours in Christ,

Newton Wilcox
Board of Directors
www.Shelleytherepublican.com

Tweetin’ 2009-03-31

March 31st, 2009 No comments
  • It’s the end of the month and the cops are swarming with wings blue light (fuck you, lord byron, you hack) #
  • fellow liberals – please remember that Obama never said he was anti-war – that was Kucinich and McKinney…i’m just sayin’ #
  • hahaha! how funny is bill-o?- http://snurl.com/evtpl – “100% factual, no conjecture…nobody has put the pieces together but us” conjecture! #
  • palin, limbaugh steele – “the bay city rollers of american politics” hahaha! #

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In Which Our Country Deserves Better Than Hate Merchants

March 30th, 2009 No comments

I’m on a lot of wingnut mailing lists.  Every now and again, some press release or plea plea for money or request to step up the hate against Obama comes through and something just isn’t quite right.  Sure, they claim it’s not about hate but about protecting the country from horrible homo-loving, latte-sipping, book-reading socialists.  They even have names that make it clear that this is about bettering the country by using names like “Our Country Deserves Better Committee”.

Friendly!

And yet, something is missing.

Play along, won’t you?

Thank you!

As the Chief Strategist for the Our Country Deserves Better Committee (one of America’s largest conservative political action committees) I wanted to thank you for all the support you’ve given to our efforts to win the Special Election for Congress that takes place tomorrow (Tuesday).

We not only have faced a millionaire liberal Democrat (Scott Murphy) and all the money he put into his race, but we also have had to battle back against money and campaigning from Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi.  You’ve helped us ‘hold our own’ in this race, and kept the campaign competitive.

With just 2 days of campaigning left we are putting in the last minute contributions we receive into a final big push of radio and TV ads to win this race.  The polls show an absolute dead heat – it could come down to a handful of votes determining who wins, and the stakes are so high.  We must defeat Obama and Pelosi’s candidate and start to take back our country!

If you’re able to afford one last contribution to this campaign it would be very helpful in our efforts to secure victory.  We’ll be taking your contributions made throughout the day and purchasing more airtime for our final ad push.  The deadline for contributions to be received and used in our final push is 3:00 PM – TODAY (Monday).

Make your final, last-minute contribution online – CLICK HERE TO DONATE.

And again – our deepest appreciation and gratitude for all your efforts, kind words, and financial support!

SAL RUSSO – Chief Strategist, Our Country Deserves Better PAC

This message was intended for: hbeeinc@gmail.com

You were added to the system January 9, 2009. For more information click here.

Need a clue?  It’s a race to fill Hillary Clinton’s seat.

Need another?  We know that Scott Murphy is the evil, foul, venal, scumbag Democratic candidate.

But who’s he running against?

OOPS!  In their rush to demonize the opponent and to stoke the fires of hate, they forgot to included the name of the candidate they support.  It’s no small omission.  What it says is DON’T vote for Democrats.  They barely even care about who the Democrat is (since they put his name in parenthesises).  The shorter version, then, would be

Give us money to defeat Democrats.  You don’t need to know anything else.

Our country really does deserve better than hate merchants like this.

Tweetin’ 2009-03-29

March 29th, 2009 No comments
  • Thanks, mbta, for being so prompt and consistent #

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Tweetin’ 2009-03-28

March 28th, 2009 No comments

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In Which All Squares Are Ovals

March 26th, 2009 3 comments

Not all Christians are assholes.  I pretty sure that I’ve said this before.  I know some very nice, kind, caring Christians.  Every year, it’s the churches that organize an MLK breakfast.  The woman down the street works in a food pantry and puts in time bettering the community.  I’d say, all told, that there are more nice Christians than not.  In my own odd way, I believe in the goodness of people.  Sadly, these are not the people that immediately jump to mind when many people (note the qualification) think of Christians.

They think of assholes like James Dobson.  They think of dickheads like Rod Parsely.  They think of absolutely losers like Jimmy Swaggart.

If there is a Hell then under the guidelines, I will be there and I will have many, many conversations with many, many Christians who will no doubt be shaking their heads as to how they got there.  It seems that no matter how many times you try to explain that telling other people that they’re going to Hell doesn’t mean you’re going to Heaven, they just don’t get it.  They also don’t seem to understand that Jesus didn’t preach that the way to Him was distorting the truth – AKA: Lying.

If I remember it correctly, there are sins of omission and sins of commission.  A sin of omission is failure to do what one can and must do.  Thus, Ted Haggard committed a sin of omission when he bought speed and had sex with a male prostitute.  A sin of commission is to know something is wrong and do it anyway.  Thus, James Dobson and his buddies knowingly and willingly tell lies in the name of Jesus.  These lies projectile vomit out of the mouths of their deluded followers.  People like this fine, caring xtian.

You may know a lot of atheists who help, but they are not the majority

Understand, they are taught that you cannot be moral without being a Christian.  I have heard someone say that homosexuals are more prone to murder because they have no morality.  They can kill and not feel anything.  I wish I was kidding.  And so, all atheists are homosexual sociopaths.

This is the way xtians survive to fill their coffers and preach their vision of the hateful Jesus.  In their view, extrapolation equals logic.  Thus, if Barney Frank calls Justice Antonin Scalia a homophobe what he’s actually saying is that any American that voted on a state Defense of Marriage law is a homophobe.  Which is not only stupid but a sin of commission.  xtian “leaders” knowingly and willfully took a satircal piece about a homosexual uprising, stripped out the prologue that explained

This essay is an outré, madness, a tragic, cruel fantasy, an eruption of inner rage, on how the oppressed desperately dream of being the oppressor.

and claimed it was the blueprint for the homosexual agenda.  Seriously.  When you hear someone claim that “I am holding a copy of the homosexual agenda in my hand” that’s what they’re referring to –  a satirical newpaper column in a gay paper.  (And I”m desperately trying NOT to make a joke about what’s in their other hand…OOPS)

It should be fairly obvious that these people are not Christians.  They are xtians.  Like the early Catholic Church, they are not about Jesus.  They are about earthly power.  I’m not even sure that they understand what they’re doing.  I do know, however, that Jesus wouldn’t have lied to spread lies about people he didn’t like.

See ya in Hell!

Tweetin’ 2009-03-26

March 26th, 2009 No comments
  • @AlexConde ya learn something new every day! #
  • HOO! 5, count ’em, 5 humorless dullards unfollowed me after the tweet about atheist spitting on babies! That, my friends, is a score! #
  • i number two on google for the phrase – “Put on Your Jesus Glasses”! #
  • @deedashrob yup – qwitter tells you on what tweet they left! in reply to deedashrob #
  • @yummypasta i’m hoping you don’t have the wool pulled over your irony. in reply to yummypasta #
  • @yummypasta good for you for not fearing death! really. kudos. how do you do it? in reply to yummypasta #

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Tweetin’ 2009-03-25

March 25th, 2009 No comments
  • Kinda bummed when people don’t know their wireless password there’s bunch of disk scanning to do…no email for me right now #
  • http://snurl.com/ehxof – this week’s post from me on WFMU’s Beware The Blog – Barney Pierce: Hell Bound Train #
  • @stacyharp yeah – teachers are stupid…so is intelligence in reply to stacyharp #
  • Retweeting and LMFAO @stacyharp: @AlexConde You may know a lot of atheists who help, but they are not the majority #
  • @AlexConde I know a lot of christians who help, but they are not the majority 😉 #
  • note – most atheists kick old ladies in the shins, live in cardboard boxes and spit on babies. #

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Tweetin’ 2009-03-24

March 24th, 2009 No comments
  • “mikey likes it. let’s play hardball” #
  • @jacksonstbooks nicely done! in reply to jacksonstbooks #
  • if you’ve added me lately and would like me to follow you, pls @ me to let me know you’re human #
  • trader joe lemon cookies with trader joe lemon curd – howdyalikemenowbitches?? #
  • wow – won 2 games of minesweeper in a row – never happens #

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Tweetin’ 2009-03-23

March 23rd, 2009 No comments
  • Watching brazil with my oldest #

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