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Archive for July, 2007

In Which I Should Practice Restraint

July 17th, 2007 1 comment

“That’s priiiide fuckin’ witcha” – Marcellus Wallace

Yes, yes, I know.  Who the fuck cares about this, that and the other thing, but still I get so tired of these useless assholes who write posts with titles like “The Blogosphere’s most pathetic excuse for a human brain — A contest” and after they find out the subject of their ridicule was actually ridiculing them first get all pissy and hruumph-y.  And yes, yes, I understand the dangers of being an asshole posting about someone being an asshole.

I never really liked the Colbert Report all that much.  Mabye it was because my wife always fell asleep before the end of it leaving me somewhat adrift.  Or maybe it’s the way his “character” constantly stops to remind you that he’s a “character”.  We all (and by “we” I mean comics) have our own holy grail.  I’d briefly considered Colbert as one.  Don’t get me wrong, I like what he does and respect the work that got him to where he is.

Getting back to the point – Why are (most) atheists so humorless??  And why do (most) atheists tend to write and speak in a tone that just make you hate them?

The guy [Me] doesn’t have the kind satiric insight you get with Colbert, Day has just got this dumb character and it’s hard to tell it’s satire. Colbert has a way of meaning exactly the opposite of what he’s saying that Day doesn’t.

Taking the criticism of me out of the equation, that sentence makes me want to suffocate him with 2500 birthday party clowns and Alanis Morrisette impersonators.  Satiric insight??  Dude, you need to spend less time mentally masturbating and more time physically masturbating. 

Really, I’m not going to belabor this point.  I will NOT post a second comment on Poindexter’s blog but I need to get two things off my chest and that’s why The Energy Mass Formerly Known As God created the interwebs.

1) “Are you trying to defend yourself?”  No.  I was attacking you.

2) “And that’s the reason Colbert has a Comedy central show and Paul Day only has a blog which ain’t going to get him far.” Yesssss!  Oh, sweet jesus, you’re so, so right.  What a fucking loser I am!  Why, oh, why didn’t I spring fully formed into this world like Stephen Colbert?  After all, what did he do to get to where he is now.  Answer: not an Energy-Massed thing.

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