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Archive for April, 2007

In Which I Might Have Forgotten To Mention…

April 30th, 2007 No comments

…that you can buy some wonderful product from the Aren’t You Marilyn Store on Cafe Press.  I’m sad to say that I told the Globe the truth – that I’ve sold a bib.  Not that I’m all that surprised, mind you.  I didn’t expect much from my first attempt at parasitic opportunism.

Categories: Capitalism Tags:

In Which She Made The Front Page

April 30th, 2007 No comments

They say that overnight stars are never born overnight and that’s true.  Rarely does the general public ever see the hard work that went on behind the scenes – the striving, the combativeness, the multiple arrests – it’s almost like Marilyn Petito Devaney consciously built her own E! True Hollywood Story.

Voiceover:  (A photo of Marilyn slowly bleeds from color to black and white) And then…things began to go wrong.  Horribly wrong.

A couple of things bother me about this story.  It’s not the abuse of position or mistreatment of curling irons that only wish beautify, not harm, people.  After all, celebrities get away with something close to murder every day.  Paris Hilton and Marilyn both dye their hair, too.

It becomes more obvious that Marilyn lives in an alternate universe.  When the Globe asked her to respond to the allegations of assault with a deadly weapon (a curling iron!) Marilyn responded

I will not respond to rumors and innuendo. The truth will prevail.

That’s not rumor and innuendo.  That’s an allegation that Marilyn broke the law.  The alleged victim is not spreading unsubstantiated gossip nor is she implying that Marilyn assaulted her.  She’s making a blunt accusation which, if proved true, means conviction on assault charges.  In other words – a crime report. 

I’m not trying to nitpick here.  Marilyn somehow believes that she has some Shakespearean gift with the English language.  However, this claim only works if she lived in the late 1500’s.  The only gift I’ve seen is the ability to pound out a 300+ word letter with absolutely no identifiable subject and FLAGRANT ABUSE OF CAPITALIZATION.  Despite that, I truly believes that she thinks all of this is somehow happening outside of the little bubble of “truth” that she lives in.  Otherwise, how could she make statement like

Unlike some others in town, I think abusing one’s authority is unethical and immoral

Am I the only one that sees a disconnect between word and deed?  Am I the only one troubled by it? 

Reading some of the responses on the Tab site depress me.  The pro-Marilyn forces honestly don’t care what she does.  In fact, they’re contemptuous of those who feel like public officials should behave just slightly better than those who elected them.  Once upon a time that was called “leadership” and “role modelling”.  That, apparently, doesn’t hold much water anymore.  We now teach our children that you can do whatever you want as long as you shore up your base.  

Some pro-Marilyn forces take the “it’s just Marilyn being Marilyn” argument and that leads me to assume that they also believe that boys are never responsible for date rape and that teenage shoplifting is just something everyone does.   They pat their children on the head as they toss their empty Big Gulp containers onto the pavement because, after all, it’s not their fault there’s not a trash container there and everybody’s doing it anyway.

Others take the even less productive “I didn’t know everyone else was so perfect” approach since, when you have no solid ground to stand on, resort to passive aggression.  “It’s like nobody else in the whole world ever threw a curling iron at someone else because they got asked for their driver’s license!”  Or “I drive without my license all the time, don’t you?”

I don’t doubt that, as people point out, Marilyn served her constituency well.  She threw herself at every event and endeared herself to everyone she could.  But something changed.  Watching her at Town Council meetings she appears to only want to fight.  She almost begs the other councilors to put her up on a cross and pour the vinegar over her as she sings her greatest hits of “You’re Disrespecting Me” and “The Old Boys Pub Club”.

Think about this, though – for all her conspiracy theories about how Watertown is run, might it be possible that she’s just mad because her pub and backroom buddies are losing?

Categories: Watertown Tags:

In Which, In The Meantime, I’ll Gladly Sell You Product

April 27th, 2007 No comments

In the midst of puzzling out these new and exceedingly amusing developments with Marilyn Devaney, you can go over to Cafe Press and pick up some “Don’t you know who I am” hats, bumper stickers and bibs!  You can also pick up What Would Marilyn Devaney Do stickers, as well!

NOTE – If you’ve got a copyright and royalty free picture Ms. Meglomania of 2007, shot me an email – hbeeinc at gmail dot com.  Let’s tawk.

Categories: Capitalism, Watertown, WWMDD Tags:

In Which I Concur

April 24th, 2007 No comments

Life Decisions International makes a great point – if you give money via the American Idol Gives Back program you’re committing murder since UNICEF and Save The Children are pro-abortion.  I hope everyone reading this declines to help starving children and teach them a lesson – America will not stand by and allow them to grow up to kill their pre-borns.

I also hope everyone will send a message of support to Life Decisions International.  Here’s mine.

Hi,

Thanks for putting together this boycott of the Idol Gives Back program.  I can’t agree strongly enough that UNICEF and Save the Children should not be given money to save the lives of poor starving children if they’re only going to grow up to kill their babies anyway.  It’s much better for those children to die than allow them to grow up and murder innocent pre-borns.  Most of the African children aren’t even civilized enough to know who Jesus is – that, alone, warrants their death.  To not know that Jesus loves them means that they have willfully closed their ears and hearts and not heard Jesus desperately trying to save them.  Too many people believe that missionaries need to spread the Word of God and that, as you know, is just not true.  Every single child born into this foul and wicked world knows who Jesus is but they are trained at an early age to forget the promise He makes to us when we first breathe the air of worldliness – believe in Me and ye shall have eternal life.

Yes, it saddens me that that millions of children will needlessly die of starvation and disease, but you’ve got to be cruel to be kind!  Perhaps, just before the final, agonizing moments of their life, as they struggle to breathe and stare into the face of their helpless and Godless parents, they will see the face of God and see what they were trained to be blind to and asked the God they never knew about for forgiveness.

I thank God that you have the strength and morality to protest this travesty of “helping”.  Only by allowing these children to die can we be assured that millions of pre-borns won’t meet the same fate.

Categories: Bible, Ridicule, Vomiting in My Mouth Tags:

In Which I Am Probably Far Behind The Times

April 4th, 2007 No comments

Alanis Morrisette really teases out the fine intricacies of the Black Eyed Peas complex and multi-layered song, My Humps.

Categories: Video Tags:

In Which I Had A Thought

April 3rd, 2007 1 comment

I’m not sure if this is one of those junior high school thoughts or not but – if we were made by God in His image, doesn’t that make everyone on Earth gay?

Categories: Bible Tags: