Archive for March, 2007

In Which I Offer Some Help

March 31st, 2007 2 comments

Have you ever felt badly about over-generalizing over how foul and filthy all Republicans are?  Or how all hardcore Christian Evangelicals can’t help but spew hate every time they open their mouths?  I used to.  My liberal guilt kicked in something fierce and frequently when I over spoke. 

“It’s wrong”, my shoulder angel chided me, “to say that just because some nutjob killed an abortionist in the name of God that all Christians want to kill abortionists. You know that.  All people are different and to lump them together helps no one.  Judge people on their own merits and not on the groups that they belong to.”

Then I’d back off and try to take a more charitable view of foul and filthy Republican and bat-shit crazy Evangelicals.

I’m pretty much done with that now.  And if you’re looking for a compelling reason over-generalize without guilt about Christian Conservatives as the greatest threat to mankind, period, then take a listen to this edition of CrossTalk America.

Daycare Social Failures

You’ll get to hear such full-out scare tatics as “college campuses are one of the few places left in the world where communism thrives” and a section that applauds a bill in the House (put forth by Republicans – duh) which exempts airline passengers from getting sued by a Muslim because the passenger reported said Muslim as a possible terrorist (“Right now, if I see a group of Muslims talking in high, squeaky language I have to figure out if I want to die or get sued”)

Most importantly, you’ll hear Frau Ingrid Schlueter claim that daycare is responsible for a breed of “new barbarians” that will most likely destroy the United States.  Yes, children have become barbarians to the Evangelical movement.  America turned away from the “bastion of Christianity” that it once was (I’m assuming this was the 1600’s she’s thinking about) and because of this parents no longer teach their children morals.  This leads to our current sitution where a group of three hundred middle school children terrorized her sister and children spit off the second floor of shopping malls.  Ok.  Chances are pretty good that not all three hundred kids swore at her “beautiful Christian sister”, stole her car keys (which were suspiciously turned into the school office but let’s not consider that someone might have thought they’d been lost) and stole her children’s toys, but the rhetoric in the retelling strongly suggests that every single child in the school was involved.

The only solution, of course, is home schooling and giving your life over to Jesus Christ.  That’s it.  If you’re not Evangelical then you’re destroying society.  End of story.  The irony is that on a recent Crosstalk they spent time talking about how 75% of kids raised Evangelical leave the church by the time they’re 25.  So, obviously, there are a couple of logical flaws to work out.

I hope this helps.  And if you need just a little kick over the cliff, consider this statement of fact by another host, Vic Eliason – “If the homosexual agenda had their way there’d be no people left on this earth.”  Take a couple of minutes to parse that statement.  Then send them an email.

Categories: Bible, CrossTalk, Radio Tags:

In Which She Was Amazing

March 14th, 2007 No comments

RIP Betty Hutton 

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Categories: Video Tags:

In Which I Think I Might Understand

March 14th, 2007 No comments

Driving around this morning my mind wandered to the town council meeting of the previous evening.  Of everything that was said, shouted, screamed and shrieked, one phrase stuck in my mind.  At one point Marilyn said

Boy, do I miss a government, of the people, for the people and by the people.  That was a democracy.


What that statement implies, however,  is that nobody else on that council got elected.  None of the councilors, with the exception of Marilyn, talked to the people of Watertown, made their best case for the position and then sat back on election night and waited to see how the vote turned out.  None of them.

Obviously, then, the only people who need representation in Watertown are Marilyn’s constituents.  If they’re not getting what they need then the system is broken and cannot be called a Democracy.  The other councillors represent no one but their own self-interest.  They work only for themselves and have no accountability.  They were never elected and therefore don’t have to worry about getting re-elected. 

Thus, there is a grand conspiracy of…stuff…that controls Watertown and the rest of us poor slobs have no recourse but to shrug our shoulders and drink our Victory Gin.  After all, only Marilyn’s district participates in true Democracy.  Only Marilyn’s opinion speaks of truth, goodness and the American Way.  The rest of Watertown lives in a sad self-deception of “reality” that I imagine looks like The Matrix.

Am I suggesting that Marilyn is Neo?  Yes.  I am.  Or at least she think she is.

The non-Matrix view is different.  Out of the seven councilors, Marilyn is but one.  Yet she comports herself as if the other six should kowtow to her.  When someone speaks while she’s speaking it is over the top yet when she speaks out of turn it should be understood that her rights are getting trampled on.  She is the underdog and the rules don’t apply to the underdog. See this post

When you are the minority, you get special privileges.  After all, that’s what Democracy is all about.  Right?

Categories: Watertown Tags:

In Which It’s Fur or Fireworks

March 13th, 2007 No comments

[Massive disclaimer – none of this should be considered fact.  I’m not a reporter.  I’m going off hastily scribbled notes that are about as impressionistic as this will be.  Dialogue cannot be verified.  The agenda does not follow the official agenda handed out.] 

I don’t want to be fascist and tell you what flew this evening at the Town Council, but it went something like this.

Everything seemed to go swimmingly until the dreaded recycling center came up.  Perhaps “swimmingly” isn’t the proper phrase to describe a tax presentation, but it wasn’t a contentious presentation.

Then came Mark Sideris’ report on the recycling center and “a motion to remove Filipello Park from consideration for a recycling center”.

Sideris gave his report, made some comments and the motion got put a – WAIT.  Marilyn invokes charter privilege to table the motion but 1) doesn’t wait for a motion to be made and 2) as I recall, just kind of blurted it out without getting recognized.  Clyde points out that no motion has been made.  Marilyn says that it doesn’t have to be since she’s shooting it down.  Thus the Clyde and Marilyn show began.

As a first time viewer, they’re both at fault.  Yes, Marilyn jumps in without recognition but Clyde’s blood pressure rises too quickly and the whole thing descends to local politics directed by Robert Altman except louder.

Anywho, Clyde calls a five minute recess while Marilyn proclaims that you cannot call a recess in the middle of a motion being made.  I don’t know the rules, but let’s say that Marilyn is right.  A motion never got made.  Several councilors leave their seats to mill around the chamber while Marilyn pummels (verbally) the town attorney for a ruling on the situation which she already knows the answer to.  She goes on a nice monologue about calling the District Attorney and how the town government actually meets in the back rooms of pubs and the average citizen hasn’t got a chance.

The storm passes.  The councilors reseat themselves.  Clyde decides to move on to the next item and come back to the recycling center when cooler heads prevail.  And so onto the community center.

Cooler heads?  No such luck.  Marilyn takes umbrage at the time of the 1:30pm meeting and I really couldn’t follow exactly what the problem was.  Possibly it was in the back room of a pub.

I’ll get into the absolute insanity of Clyde’s request for the library to stop pedophiles entering the library by putting internet filters on the computers in the children’s section later.  I promise.

Either way, it’s back to the recycling center and absolutely nothing has changed.  Marilyn invokes Charter Privilege on a motion not yet made, to which Clyde responds, “Let’s get this motion made and seconded and then you can invoke charter privilege until Hell freezes over.”  This causes Marilyn to go off on another reverie about being the only person ever kicked off a committee and starts in on some head and body shots on Clyde.  Clyde damn near breaks his gavel calling for order and huffing that he will not be insulted in that fashion.  More Altman-esque dialogue until Clyde thunders – “I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED AND DON’T THINK I WON’T.  Go ahead.  Test me.”

“Shuh,” snorts Marilyn, “and you’re coming with me.”

Annnnd breathe.

Back to the Community Center.  (Dialogue paraphrased and shortened)

Devaney:  Isn’t there supposed to be a fiscal note to bring this up?
Donohue:  It’s a concept.  There can’t be an estimate on a building that doesn’t exist.
Devaney:  There’s supposed to be a note
Donohue:  It’s exploratory to see if anyone is interested.  You can’t put a price on a building that you don’t even know if you want to build.
Devaney:  There should be a note.

Back to the recycling center.  Sideris says something to the effect of he simply wanted to make a motion to talk about it.  Predictably, Marilyn invokes…well, you know.  Clyde manages to spit out a motion, which someone seconds and Marilyn shoots down.

Clyde:  See?  That was simple
Marilyn:  (snort) Simple.  Yeah.

Another fiscal presentation.  This time about the pension fund.  If I understand it, the town currently manages it.  The question is whether to give it over to the state.  The General Manager points out that it’s making 8% return.  Jonathan Hecht points out that out of 105 state pension funds only one is not making 8% and that the percentage of funding has decreased in the past couple of years.

There’s a reading of a loan order to pay for the police station and it’s on to announcements.

There’s this announcement, that announcement, the Raiders won the game at whatever the Boston Garden is called now and then and 10:12pm…

Marilyn starts talking about the recycling center again.  Sweet fucking jesus.  We’re thrown back into chaos.  She makes a motion about something lost in the Altman-esque fray.  Clyde repeats the motion.  No second comes.  “There is no second,” Clyde says tensely, “so it DIES.”  Naturally, Marilyn’s not going to take this standing up and protests.

“There is no second,” seethes Clyde.

“Hrrrmph, hrrmph”, hrrmphs Marilyn.

“I’ll second,” pipes up Hecht.

“Don’t try to placate me,” she hisses.

“I’m not,” says Hecht, “I think we should talk about this.  I think that everybody should be aware of what happened tonight – how one councilor spent the evening silencing debate on the issue of the recycling center only to bring it up during the announcement section so that we all had to listen to her and were not allowed to respond.  Because that’s what happened.”

And in the back of my mind I heard the words, “Have you no decency, Senator?  At long last, have you no decency?”

[Once again – this is subjective and not a complete picture of the meeting and should not be considered fact]

Categories: Watertown Tags:

In Which It Needs To Be Said

March 13th, 2007 No comments

I honestly do understand about how the Watertown Raiders are doing well and get to play in whatever the Boston Garden is called now, but…you just can’t escape the irony that March is Arts in Watertown month and the annual BANDORAMA (yes, it needs to be written in all caps) concert tonight because of the game.

Moral – Sports win.

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Speak Out – A Supermarket

March 10th, 2007 No comments

In regards to the Town Council Meeting aired on our local channel March 6. The comment regarding Target possibly opening up near Lowe’s, would it be possible that a nice supermarket could open in the mall where Target’s is. Like Market Basket maybe.

We have nothing in the line of a supermarket in this town to shop in. We have to go out of town to shop. I hope some of the Council Members will read and look into that. If Target moves from the mall, that will be vacant and a supermarket should come there.

Speak Out – A Supermarket


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In Which Jerry Falwell’s Psychic And I Throw Up Again

March 10th, 2007 No comments

The wagon’s continue to circle

Falwell, in his newsletter, said he has usually been able to tell when a man who has experienced “moral collapse” was genuinely seeking forgiveness. “My sense tells me that Mr. Gingrich is such a man,” he wrote.

“I well remember the challenge we evangelicals faced in 1980 when our candidate, Ronald Reagan, was the first presidential candidate who had gone through a divorce. We wisely made allowance for God’s forgiveness and America was the beneficiary of this historic champion,” Falwell added.

“Usually”.  Which, rhetorically speaking, leaves open the possibility of mistake.  So, calm down, white Evangelical Christians – Reagan was divorced and he whupped the Commies single-handedly without no help from no one!  Don’t let your Christian Values™ get in the way of voting who we tell you to.  Remember this – if you want to make a Moral Omlette you’ve got to break some Moral Eggs.  Newt said the word “repentance” on Dr. Dosbson’s radio show and that’s all you need to know.  Also, stick to World Net Daily and FoxNews for all your news.  Everyone else will try to lie to you.

It’s times like this that I wish there was a liberal militia group.  Weather Underground 2.0, anyone?

In Which I Offer New(t) Information

March 9th, 2007 No comments

Part 1 of the Dobson/Gingrich something-awfully-similar-to-gay-marriage broadcast starts off with…

YES!  An audio clip of Mr. Smith Goes To Washington! Are the American people that stupid to fall for that Gingrich-as-Spotless-Hero?  The boundless cynicism of such a move should be a wake-up call to Evangelicals.  Not only is Saint Dobson backing thrice-married, non child supporter paying adulterer (whose mother, remember, is a potty mouth) but he’s telling the flock that he’s actually Jimmy Stewart.  How funny is that?!

Very, very few people could right that as fiction let alone have the balls to try to sell it to the American public.

Perhaps Dobson’s enter the mid-stages of Alzheimer’s.

In Which I Wish Her/It/Us A Happy Birthday

March 9th, 2007 No comments

h2otown’s birthday party was this evening and a good time was had by all.  It was a pleasure meeting everyone!

Given that to enter, you needed to sign a non-disclosure form, I’m afraid there’s little else I can say.


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In Which Dobson Exists For A Reason

March 9th, 2007 No comments

So, let’s say that you’re a politician with an image problem.  You resigned from the House of Representatives under a cloud of suspicion.  You spent most of your political life fighting dirty and wound up getting thoroughly spanked.  Let’s say, too, that you served your wife divorce papers in the hospital while she recovered from cancer surgery.  Oh, and when you fuck around with other women, you have oral sex so you can say you didn’t “sleep” with them.

The questions are –

1)  Could such a person be president?

2)  How do you rehab your image to make that possible?

The answer, I hope, should be obvious.  Which leads another question – if Newt Gingrich give James Dobson a blowjob does that make him gay or just political expedient?

Newt wants to test the waters and get the Christian Right behind him (pardon the pun) again.   So he’s written a new book called (without a trace of irony), Rediscovering God In America and Dobson, swell guy that he is, gave Newt not one but two shows for Newt to prove himself worthy of God love’s again.  I haven’t heard the first show yet, but the second show is a doozy!

For the first fifteen minutes, Newt gets to scaremonger his little black heart out and explain why Jesus wants us to take away personal liberties in order to protect the United States of America from future terrorist attacks.  “Take down every single website that poses a threat to America,” Newt during a speech to either robots or a computerized applause track.

The last fifteen minutes, though…mmm.  Dobson literally gives Gingrich the microphone to spin away his “indiscretions”.    Democrats forced him out of office simply because he didn’t read one letter that he let somebody else write.  That simple.  Democrats suck.

And as to his miserable performance as a husband and father (child support?  I don’t think so!), well, let’s look at Clinton.  Look at him!  He lied under oath and nobody asked me under oath about the plethora of blow jobs I received or how I met my third wife who was an aide and twenty-three years my junior.

And then, something weird happens.  Dobson actually tells him, somewhat gently, that he didn’t address the question.  HUH!?  Don’t worry, though, Dobson was just helping him out.  Once a spinner, always a spinner.  Newt slips in a quick “yes, I had an affair” (and note the singular use of the noun) and then takes off again about bad decisions and how he has grand kids that he loves very much.

I may be reading more into it out of wishful thinking, but Dobson does not seem satisfied.  He tells Gingrich that what he’s saying sounds different from the conversations they had about it the topic earlier.  It sounds like a bad lawyer leading the witness.  “What about repentance?,” Dobson urges and I imagined him as Don Corleone subtly nodding to his henchmen that Newt will sleep with the fishes for not following the plan.

In the end, they sound jovial and self-congratulatory but it plays like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf with the knives poised to dig into each other’s backs.  At least I hope so.

All of this is recommend the new book The Jesus Machine: How James Dobson, Focus on the Family, and Evangelical America Are Winning the Culture War.  They’ve actually lost a lot of ground with one third of white evangelicals voting Democrat in the past election.  Still, if anyone could make President Gingrich a reality, it would be Dobson.

Categories: Dobson, Talk Radio Tags: