I am trying so hard not to go down the obvious road. Really, really hard. But the facts make it sooo hard not to. I want to be nice…well…kind of…but I just can’t get the image out of my head.
Imagine a room, any room (although the Oval Office gives it that extra addeded oomph). In that room, president bush, Mike Gallagher, Sean Hannity, Michael Medved and Neal Boortz all sit looking at Laura Ingraham. And damn she looks fine. Her slim legs snaking out from underneath a short black skirt loaned to her by Ann Coulter. She looks up at the men with smoky eyes. Her voice seems to catch in her throat. “Gentlemen,” she purrs, “show me your…”
Okay, okay. I’m not going down that road. It’s not right. I’m better than that. This isn’t some fan fiction porno blog where Belle and the Beast hook up to do the nasssty. I’m an adult and I will address my concerns as an adult and not fall victim to the easy and cheap metaphor of five conservative talk show hosts invited to an “off-the-record” meeting with the president of the United States and the possible reasons for it lasting an hour longer than expected.
Vast right wing conspiracy? Silly Hillary. I’m sure there’s a very good reason for the president to spend an hour and a half talking (and I want to re-iterate – it was just talk) to some of the most virulent wingnut radio hosts in the US. “Virulent,” you say, “but why wasn’t Rush invited it.” He was. But he must have better things to do than meet with the president of the United States and I’m positive that they have nothing to do with a pre-arranged meeting to buy oxycontin or viagra from a street dealer.
Mike Gallagher called it “a life changing expirience” on his show today. And, sly dog that he is, said that he wished all of president bush’s detractors could meet with him in this kind of a setting. This, naturally, would never, ever happened. bush only talks to those who greet him as they do Hannity – “Thanks, Sean, you’re a fine American”. The very though of bush pulling a Nixon and walking into the midst of the enemy to talk with them, well, you can stop laughing now. Is there any better indication of the type of man bush is than this? He preaches to the choir and fuck the rest of us. The choir then gets its celestial marching orders, blows into a pitch pipe and hollers away at the tune they’ve just been taught irregardless of whether the rest of the country likes that kind of music.
So, who is the new bush? Let’s hear Mike tell it
If president bush’s detractors could sit down with him, face to face, they wouldn’t recognize who the guy is! He believes in everything he says! You can hear it in his voice! He stands 100% behind every decision that’s been made! You may not agree with him. You may think he’s completely wrong. You may even hate him. But I guarantee that when you came out of that meeting to you’d believe he was sincere.
A sincere bush. That’s a clunker of a note. I don’t think there’s a single bush detractor who doesn’t think he believes in what he’s doing. That’s what makes him so scary – his blind, unwavering belief that he is right and the rest of the world just doesn’t get it.
It’s too depressing. How about this instead?
“Gentlemen,” she purrs, “show me your weapons of mass destruction.”