[Ed. Note: This is not a real letter from a real person.]
To The Boston Comedy Scene,
This is just to inform you that I will no longer be performing comedy in Boston. I do not take the action lightly. The three months that I have performed comedy have been an education that I don’t wish to continue. I’m frustrated banging my head against a wall trying to get good quality stage time. It seems, somehow, that nobody wants to book me for the good gigs that pay and since I am unemployed, money, I’m sad to say, is important.
I came into comedy with a good attitude and a lot of thoughts and ideas about how to make the scene better. For some reason, nobody wanted to listen to me. I’m also really funny, at least as funny as Tom Hanks in that movie about stand up comedy.
The main problem with the Boston comedy scene is that people aren’t nice. More to the point, they’re just downright mean. As a newcomer, I expected a little bit of razzing and people telling me that I sucked, but I could not have predicted the ferocity that awaited me. Established comics frequently feel threatened by new blood and they have to protect their turf and I understand that. But after three months of trying hard and proving that I was in it for the long haul, comics still wouldn’t give me the respect that I deserved. I don’t know how you expect newcomers to get any better if you don’t support them.
The online community is even worse. My posts, if anyone responded to them at all, frequently met with savage mockery and other comics telling me to “shut the fuck up” and “who are you?”. This is no way to cultivate talent. Talent shrinks from this kind of treatment and as professional creative people you should know that. I really like the idea of an online community where everyone is equal and respected and get help with the questions they have. Itís too bad there doesnít seem to be one.
Anyway, it saddens me to have to make this decision. I fully expected by this point in time to be making money being funny. Hee-hee! I guess that’s not in the cards for me.
And while I will not be performing, I am more than willing to discuss how to make the Boston comedy scene better and friendlier to new comics. You can email me at [email address deleted]