Archive for the ‘Fucking Foul Mouthed Goddamn Liberal’ Category

In Which Jesus Is Not An Objectivist

April 20th, 2011 No comments

[Note: The audio version of this will be available sometime soon on The Pod Delusion. Thanks to Salim Fahdley and James O’Malley for that.]

The impending release of the film version of Atlas Shrugged reminds me of one of the lowest, darkest and most desperate periods in my life. Actually reading Atlas Shrugged.

Looking back, I realize that I fit the social demographic perfectly – I was emotionally retarded.  Just out of high school, friends with a lot of girls but with no girlfriend and having turned my back in mild defiance of Christianity, I desperately searched for some reason to explain why I always wound up on the losing end of things when I felt as if I gave so much. 21st century me now knows that I was simply an enabling co-dependent with low self-esteem and the solution lay in the halls of Al-Anon, a therapist’s office and perhaps some serotonin inhibitors.

20th century me, however, grabbed for the biggest, longest and most unwieldy book I could find to make me not feel stupid. At that point, it could have been any book, but it turned out to be Atlas Shrugged. During the summer of 1980 I devoured every line and possibly even masturbated to the image of sharp-featured, dominatrix Dagny Taggart. I knew nothing about objectivism  or Ayn Rand or what a miserable human being she was. All I knew was that, finally, I found good, concise, well-reasoned reasons to tell the rest of the world to fuck off.  I was, at last, better than everyone else.

And I’m terribly, terribly sorry for that.

If, for some unknown reason, you plan to see movie version of Atlas Shrugged, it’s important to arm yourself with this key fact – Rand was a loser who wrote books for losers. Objectivism isn’t so much about strength as it is about not being perceived as weak.  It’s about BIG talk and BIG ideas and BIG actions that can only exist in a self-deluded world of fiction where silly things like “fact”, “logic” and “the laws of gravity do not exist.

Which is another way of saying it’s the perfect Republican bible.  Or would be if Republicans didn’t already have a bible.  But they do. And it’s called “The Bible”

And the two books simply cannot co-exist in the same philosophical space. Sorry.  Just can’t happen. It’s like matter annihilating anti-matter – it ends in an explosion of stupidity and schizophrenia, which, now that I think about it, is the current definition of the Republican party.

If you’re unfamiliar with either books, here’s a brief synopsis.

The Bible: Book one –  God makes everything. He tells the Jews they’re the chosen people and to obey him. They don’t.

The Bible: Book Two – God takes a different tack and decides to rule by guilt. He kills his son, a nice young man who tells us to love each other and help the poor, and condemns us to Hell if we don’t continually thank him for that. And then the world ends.

Atlas Shrugged – The world is going to hell, so all the smart people leave and set up their own cool kids club in a magical pristine canyon that nobody can find. They live happily ever after never having to care about poor people or clean up after the mess they helped create.

Notice any areas of dichotomy there?

Jesus –  And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

John Galt –  Fuck the poor

Jesus –  Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go [and] sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come [and] follow me.

John Galt –  Fuck the poor

Jesus –  Gimme some loaves and fishes and everybody eats

John Galt – If you think you’re getting any of MY food, think again, leech.

This is why America is so totally screwed right now – Right-wing Christian teabagging Republicans have the ideological hots for an amphetamine-addicted, atheist adulteress.  The party that damn near closed my government down because women shouldn’t have the right to abortion because God don’t like it reaches for the Viagra when they read Atlas Shrugged. The party that whines about gay marriage as an affront to God has no such problem when it comes to Ayn Rand. The party that spits on me because I’m not Christian swallows when it comes to Ayn Rand.

After all, I’m not the one that said “Faith is the worse curse of mankind, as the exact antithesis and enemy of thought.” That was Ayn Rand

In Which Our Country Deserves Better PAC’s Services Are No Longer Needed

May 22nd, 2009 No comments

I need to channel my energy better.  I always mean to troll and end up engaging, instead.  There comes a point where distanced amusement turns to outright anger and OCDBPAC tends to find that point as easily as Deborah Jones finds the closet she keeps her strap-on hidden in so she and Joe can play Secretary.

The level of their denial rocks the brain and approaches Sinclairian standards.  Take the recent email sent by Mr. Jones (who, btw, has a thing going on).

According to the folks at YouTube, only 1,538 of you have listened to the new radio ad I recorded yesterday that takes Harry Reid to task for dishonoring our military men and women.  Friends, we have a lot more members than that so this means a lot of you have yet to listen to the ad.

Gosh, Lil’ Debbie, it’s almost like (how shall I put this) NO ONE FUCKING CARES.

I know that only a handful of people read this and I cherish every single one of you.  I might bitch about low numbers sometimes but, guess what, at the end of the day, it’s my problem.  I could write good old-fashioned earthy-crunchy “yay liberals” stuff.  I could jump on whatever band wagon Dkos hitched up for the day.  There are 12 gazillion ways to up the numbers to the point where the Google ad revenue would keep me rolling in clover.  The last thing I would do is send an email blaming you, my cherished readers, for not reading this enough.  Or not sending me money

Please take a moment to listen to the new ad below.  And if you agree with my message, then help me make sure every single voter in Nevada hears this ad next week, by making a contribution so we can purchase as much airtime as possible.

Translation, as if it were plain – “Waaaaaaah!  It’s YOUR fault if America turns into an athieistic, Socialist dictatorship because didn’t pay for my salary.”  But that’s not really the point.

Let me state that not all Republicans are wingnuts.  I know plenty of perfectly nice people who respectfully disagree me.  They don’t call me names.  They don’t besmirch my character.  As a result, we actually talk about things, which isn’t to say that things don’t get heated or that we’ll ever agree.

The classic wingnut just lies without any sense of remorse, conscience or fact.  Obama is not a socialist.  He does not hate the troops.  He is an American citizen.  He did not get blown in the back of a limo by a psychotic gay man.

The classic wingnut loves to call the left “Stalinist” implying that we insist on absolute and total fealty to the dogma laid down by the wingnut target du jour.  There are, of course, those who insist on lockstep adherence to liberal dogma.  I’ve heard plenty of conversations about how someone wasn’t “liberal enough”.  I have no use for those people.  However, they generally don’t take their dogma and go home.

Like OCDBPAC does.

I noticed a couple of days ago that the two copies of their emails that I usually got mysteriously became one copy.  Perhaps it’s because they read my responses to them and decided that I wasn’t on their list for the “right” reason. (Me so funny!)  All the more reason to subscribe with two different addresses.  It’s not the first time they’ve cut me off.  I’m kicked out of their Facebook group for pointing out that their math was heniously wrong when I came to interpreting polling data, a fact confirmed my wife who interprets data for a living.

Now, however, they’ve taken to deleting and banning comments on their idiotic YouTube radio ad.

It doesn’t seem to take much to get banned, either.  Just counter “Harry Reid hates the troops” with something true, like, say bush cut funding for veteran’s benefits.  Or that Walter Reed Hospital willfully and knowing neglected the veterans in their charge.  You’ll be banned in a heartbeat. In my case, I was banned after asking someone to read sources “outside your comfort zone if only to debunk them.”  How fucking incendiary am I?

To sum up – I was banned from Our Country Deserves Better PAC for

1) Disagreeing with them

2) Asking them to consider all sides of an issue

In short – I was banned for acting like an American.

In Which Facts Are Stupid Things

February 21st, 2009 2 comments

Facts are stupid things.
Ronald Reagan

Ok, so Reagan really said it but probably not on purpose.  He was quoting (or tried to quote) John Adams.

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.

I could, of course, have just started this off with the quote without providing any context and we all could have had a good laugh at Reagan’s expense.  But then I would be doing what Our Country Deserves Better PAC does.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but we have a new president and there are some people that believe that he will DESTROY AMERICA (emphasis NOT added).  Despite a wealth of evidence to the contrary, they believe he’s a radical communist, a soclialist, that he’ll sell us out to Africa, that he dealt drugs, that he’s on the down-low and (though I’m sure it’s a joke) that he’s a voodoo priest.  These are the same people that crow that after 30 days he’s “changed nothing” and that sneer about him not being “bi-partisan”.  This would imply that they would EVER consider working with him, period.  It’s the same as saying “I’ll stop punching you in the face when you stop asking me to stop punching you in the face.”

Before I go on, I want to acknowledge that latte-sipping liberals such a myself engage in the same disingenuous fiddling that dickheads like OCDB PAC does.  (See, that was a little meta-joke there!)  The main difference, I think, is that we generally cave in like Pelosi and Obama have over the Patriot Act.  Democrats will actually vote for what they believe in as opposed to the ‘licans who’ll skunk the stimulus bill despite the fact that it was reported they wanted it to pass.

Ok.  That’s out of the way.

Take a look at the most recent volley from the stomach of OCDB PAC.

As opposition to Barack Obama’s collectivist, big-goverment economic policies & confused and weak national defense/foreign affairs policies grows, support for Obama has taken a hit in the polls.

The Gallup polling organization has been conducting a daily tracking poll and in the past month Obama’s job approval ratings have plunged by 19%.  The drop in support has been particularly noticeable among Independents and Republicans (one month ago a narrow plurality of Republicans approved of the way Obama was handling his job, now a majority of Republicans say they disapprove).

Down 19%??  Holy shit!  If, as they say, his approval rating is down 19% he’s in pretty big trouble, isn’t he?  It sounds like the entire country has deserted him!  Buyer’s remorse, as the wingnuts’ new talking point says.

Not surprisingly, it’s not true.

I’ve been…let’s call it “monitoring” the OCDB Facebook page and chiming in occasionally.  So, I left this on their message board

Numbers are fun! Obama down 19%! He’s gotta be sunk now! 19% is a really big number! It’s a lot. But you’ll notice that the actually poll numbers aren’t used.

According the Gallup (and, please remember, if you don’t back up your statements with links, nobody will check because he’s hated SO MUCH that nobody cares if it’s true or not) Obama started off with at 67% approval rating. ( The new poll has him at….63%

It’s much more dramatic to say that his numbers fell by 19% than he dropped 4 points.

You can also just make up a number that sounds good, too. Do the math, folks. Here’s the Gallup graph –

For the sake of math-iness, let’s say Obama had a 70% approval rating and and it fell 20%. 10% of 70 equals 7 – double that to get 20% and you’ve got 14. 70-14 equals 56.

That’s not terribly close to 63.

Dissent IS patriotic and there’s much to dislike about Obama on both sides of the aisle. But, please, don’t be dishonest about it.

To which Joe responded.

Paul: We take issue with, “Dissent IS patriotic and there’s much to dislike about Obama on both sides of the aisle. But, please, don’t be dishonest about it.” Especially since we provide the graph with the number scale showing the poll results at each interval.

I’ll help you out with specific numbers on specific dates, but I’d ask in the future if you have a question about something we put out, simply ask and we’ll be happy to provide you with clarification or supporting material. But we don’t appreciate people suggesting we’re somehow dishonest. I surely think you’d want us to treat you in the same accord and fashion, yes?

OK, so here we go:

Gallup Daily Tracking Poll
1/21/2009 – 1/23/2009:
68% Approve
12% Disapprove
Net Approval Margin: 56%

Gallup Daily Tracking Poll
2/16/2009 – 2/18/2009
62% Approve
25% Disapprove
Net Approval Margin: 37%

That’s a drop in Obama’s job approval rating by 19% in less than one month.

OK – we’re good now?

HUH?  Wait.  Go and look at the link to the email they sent out.  I see “approve”.  I see ” disapprove”.  What I don’t see is 1) any numbers at all and 2) any reference to “net job approval”.  Sooooo…how, then, do you use numbers that don’t exist to make up a metric that you never defined?  Wouldn’t you call that…um…what’s the word I’m looking for…dishonest?  Isn’t this the same math that got us into the economic debacle that we’re in now?

If you’re looking for some fun, you’d could do worse than join their Facebook group.

In Which I Promise Not Become Obsessed

January 27th, 2009 3 comments

I guess this could also be called “In Which I’m A Total Dick”, but, really Eric – think before you post.

Why are we NOT violating the rights of them murderous towelheads at Gitmo?  Simple!

The Geneva COnvention only applies to nations. Al Queda is not a nation. They are not entitled to any protection that Geneva covers.

So, by that logic, you’re saying that that since “Jews” aren’t a nation then their rights weren’t violated during the holocaust.

Or am I missing something?

More concretely, here’s another example of what I’m going to call the Hannity Syndrome in which you claim to be neutral and then drop all pretense of neutrality.  For the sake of coaxing the point out, I’m going to switch the order of the paragraphs

I have vowed for the most part to sit back and let him [Obama] govern. I have no interest in reflexively opposing him. He has to make decisions that I believe are so fundamentally wrong on an issue so deep inside my heart for me to intervene.

The pain of the Twin Towers has been compounded by a pair of decisions that will hopefully never come to be known as the “Twin Blunders.”

Dig the almost perfect passive aggression of that last sentence.  “That will hopefully never be known…”  HA!  Dude – don’t be so fucking coy!  Just come right out and say, “hey, here’s a snappy soundbite for OneNewsNow or, if I’m lucky, Fox!”

(The blunders that will hopefully never be known as the “twin blunders”, btw, are 1) closing the farce called Gitmo and 2) actually NOT torturing people when we say we won’t.  *sigh*)

Finally – God knows that I fuck up all the time but

Sometime between January 20th and January 25th of 2008, a new President made grave strategic mistakes.

That’s some serious freaky wormhole time travel there!

In Which I Want To Give Eric A Heads Up

January 27th, 2009 No comments

Well, Eric gave me quite the drubbing in the comment section because of my foul fucking mouth and horrible manners in writing a post for my own website. Now, we can agree to disagree over whether “goosestepping” means calling someone a Nazi or whether it means marching in lockstep.  Personally, I meant it in the latter sense, but I do understand that offense can be taken.  Plenty of people get upset that “drinking the Kool Aid” became divorced from the horrific massacre in Jonestown and now is used as a punchline.

Still, it’s a little disingenuous to hear him say –

Lastly, my holocaust surviving father would take offense at your referring to any American politican as a “goose-stepper,” “Nazi,” or “Brownshirt.”

Which is pretty funny since hardcore conservatives and christians spent the last, desparate moments of the 2008 campaign calling Obama “Adolph Hitler” who was, if memory serves…um…a Nazi.

I’m far too shallow to really look in depth, but the cursory search for “nazi” on Eric’s website didn’t show any posts warning his conservative breathern to cut the shit – oops, rather, to knock it off with the insulting references to Hitler.  Nor, I’m assuming (and, please, prove me wrong) are there any posts decrying the use of “the American Holocaust” when refering to abortion in America.

And why would there be?  Very few ideaolouges one either side of the fence would risk pissing off – goddamn it, did it again – annoying their breathern by speaking up for their core beliefs.  That kind of behavior bruises the gin, after all.  Why?  Because dissent inside your own party is not patriotic.

Two items –

1) A new friend stopped by the blog a short time ago and sent me an email saying, “I’m not quite sure that we’re on the same side of everything”.  And while that might be true, I still consider myself to be pretty fucking goddamn goshdarn liberal.  Not on everything, though, it’s true.  I’m not big into the group think and run into problems challenging my fellow liberals on some issues.  Nobody on the far left or far right likes a moderate.  We’re seeing Obama pay the price for his independence right now.  I haven’t read Eric’s stuff terribly deeply but it strikes me as faux-moderate as when Hannity says things like “Obama has no hope of succeeding but I’m going to give him 72 hours to prove me wrong because I’m a fair guy”.

2) I hope that soon you’ll be able to bookmark and copy audio from your mp3 player onto your computer.  Had this been the case, I’d have the audio from Focus On The Family that makes my case better than I can.  Dobson and company nattered on about how horrible the left was that, as Eric pointed out, they called republicans that had never killed any Jews, Nazis.  “This,” they said, “just added to the proof of what horrible people liberals were and how they’d do anything to twist the truth so that it lined up with their non-christian views.”

But it gets better.

About five minutes later on the same show (which was a typical christcon lie-a-thon) one of the guests started a new thread about how “the culture of death” didn’t really care who they killed.  They’d kill grandmothers simply because their life support systems cost tax payers hundreds of millions of dollars in Medicare payments.  Yes.  They’d kill the old people (waaaaait for it) JUST LIKE THE NAZIS DID.


Again – I wish I had the audio for that program.  Within the space of five minutes they whined about being called Nazis and then called other people Nazis.

So, Eric, I hope I didn’t trample on your right to dissent.  And please write a post about how Dr. Scott Lively somehow feels that allow gays in the military will turn the US Military into…well, I’m not really sure what the point is but it’s got to do with faggots and Hitler.

In Which All Wingnuts Are In Fourth Grade

January 26th, 2009 3 comments

Nah, nah, nah, boo-boo
Stick your head in doo-doo
– Typical fourth grader

Nah, nah, nah, boo-boo
Stick your head in feces
– Typical wingnut

Welcome, wingnuts, to the Other Side Of The Mirror.  This is the sane side of the mirror – the side where we don’t invade countries because our penises are smaller than our daddy’s. This is the side where “thoughtfulness” and “intelligence” are virtues and not weaknesses.  This is the side where, while you don’t have to lay down and show your belly, you accept defeat with a little more grace and not sabre rattle when you know the Senate vote’s gonna wind up 94-6.

Yes, this is the side where Obama is president and, sorry, you’ll have to deal with that.

Let’s make something clear – we (the lie-beral defeato-crat, islamofascist lovers) didn’t hate bush right out of the gate.  Getting us to hate him was the only thing he really worked hard at.  9/11?  Did we hate him after 9/11?  Answer – no.  We didn’t even blame him for unti until that silly piece of paper surfaced with something about “bin Laden determined to attack inside the US blah blah blah”.  I didn’t hate him for going into Afghanistan and kicking the ass of the perpetrators of 9/11…even though they 90% Saudi citizens.  I didn’t really hate him that much for allowing AIDS patients in some countries to die because those countries allowed abortion.

No – I hated him because he invaded a country that, even to my unpracticed eye, had NOTHING TO FUCKING DO WITH 9/11.  I hated him because, after swearing up and down that killing bin Laden was Job #1, HE THREW UP HIS HANDS AND SAID FUCK IT.  I hated his propaganda machine made disagreement with his policies REASON TO BE FUCKING SPIED ON.

Now, it’s not like I expect you folks to act like adults since you’ll always be bullies no matter which party is in power.  You’re fouth graders with hardons for war movies but not for personally going to war.  So Tygrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Express (or how many “wicked kewl” r’s you use), if your going to masturbate, do it in private, ok?

From what I have learned over the last few days, it is very important that “we all come together.”

Yet from what I remember during the previous 8 years, the main phrase was that “dissent is patriotic.”

It is amazing how the rules of civility are completely altered when a democrat wins the White House. Perhaps that is what Barack Obama meant by “change.”

We have tough problems to face, so we have to rally around our new leader and support him. Funny, in 2000 the mantra was, “Let’s destroy this guy because we feel like it.”

Now that those that know only insatiable bloodlust are being forced to smile and be pleasant, they expect conservatives to just let vicious bygones be vicious bygones.

It doesn’t work that way.

I have nothing against Barack Obama personally. He seems to be a likable fellow that is right about some things and wrong about many more.

His presidency is less than a week old and you and your conservative buddies have done nothing but act like dicks.  And limp ones, at that.  So spare me your cheap irony that we’re telling you to shut up and silencing your dissent.  We’re not.  We’re not telling homeland security to spy on you just because you have an R next to your name or because you voted for Alan Keyes or some other fanatic.

“I don’t have anything against him personally…”  Sweet fucking jesus – do you really expect anyone to believe that?  That particular code was busted decades ago.  “Oh, he’s a nice enough guy, given that he rapes puppies and sells crack to kids.”


Bang your little to xylophones and tin drums.  Do your little goosesteps around the Washington Monument.  Have all the dissent you want.  No one is calling you unpatriotic because you have different ideas.  No one is using that Patriot Act to track you down in your home.  No one is trying to fire you because you’re a closet gay who’s blowing Grover Norquist.

We. Don’t. Care.

No matter how many times you try to force people into believing that we will ship conservatives off to concentration/re-education camps it just won’t be true.  Most people know that.  That’s why they voted democratic instead of republican.

They got tired of feeling afraid of their government.

So, cry all you want – it’ll set a good example for your children: even without facts you must hate the opposition.

You’re disgusting.

BUT you have the right to be disgusting.