Archive

Archive for the ‘Analogies’ Category

In Which “The Newsroom” Is 24 For The Intellectual Liberals

January 2nd, 2013 No comments

I’m a bad liberal. I admit it. Sometimes I put stuff in the trash that belongs in the recycle bin. I flick my cigarette (bad liberal) out the car window. I got sick of Keith Olbermann, no matter how much I agreed with him and I despise Laurence O’Donnell. I mean, despise.  The second Rachel Maddow ends, the TV is off, hopefully before he starts speaking.

Let me put this right up front. I’ve never seen The Newsroom and, even if I had HBO (which I don’t) I wouldn’t watch it. I’ve seen clips from it and it looks great. I love the cast. The writing is top notch. The problem is – it’s not real life. It is, like all TV, a dream world. It’s a world I’d love to live in, full of the proper mix of reason and passion where you win arguments with facts (“All presidents have used stimulus and you’ve never called them socialist”) and you’re not told “SHUT THE FUCK UP!! YOURA FAGOT. GO BACK TO NOTRH KOREA!!”

(Sidenote: I love the new North Korea focus. They can’t use Iran anymore because they actually realize that they wish the US transformed into a theocratic society.)

A scant 2 months after 9/11, Fox TV came out with the show 24.  Stop and think about that. TV shows just don’t create themselves overnight. What this implies is that pretty much the day after or even of 9/11, some one saw and opportunity to turn it into cash. Not just cash, but an electronic bully pulpit preaching that all Muslims wanted to kill us and that only the US could save the day. And do it all in 24 hours. This kind of propaganda is not unprecedented but it took 20 years for a show about wacky Nazis to get to TV after WWII. Did the propaganda campaign known as 24 work?

A few years ago, One News Now, a fake news site run by the American Family Association, asked its xtian readers if they thought torture was a viable option in the war on terror. These salt-of-the-earth, turn-the-other-cheek, that-which-you-do-to-the-least-of-these xtians responded with a deafening FUCK YEAH! Just how loud was the response? 89% said they had no problem with it. Bear in mind that after WWII, the US prosecuted Japanese soldiers for waterboarding Americans.

Even liberals ate up the whole “they hate freedom” bullshit that 24 pedaled. And you can’t really blame them. Most people wanted comfort and assurance that a once in lifetime event wouldn’t happen again. So much so, that we took off our unalienable rights with the Patriot Act and put them in the bin with our shoes at the airport. In the end, though, 24 served only to increase national paranoia and hits on the job site at the CIA and FBI.

You’re going to tell me The Newsroom and 24 can’t be compared. Getting all sweaty from running around diffusing bombs isn’t the same thing as getting all sweaty because you’re living on coffee and running downstairs to not get caught smoking. True. But at the concept level, it’s the same thing: Intrepid People Intrepidly Saving The World From The Enemy. In the case of 24, the enemy wore turbans, long beards and spoke a foreign language. In The Newsroom, the enemy wears suits, flag pins and speaks a foreign language – Teabaggese.

Wingnuts don’t have a problem with blood and violence. They love seeing people get the shit literally kicked out of them. Their default action is “punch”. Liberals don’t. We’d prefer our smack downs bloodless. We’d rather eviscerate with words (raises his hands) than violence. To put it in teabagger terms: Liberals think the motherfucking SHIT out of teabaggers – HOO-ah! The pen is mightier than sword, weak limbed thinkers are told, but smugness in the safety of your facts rarely protects you from getting stabbed. Paradoxically, reason tends to incite violence.

In dream world of  The Newsroom, that hermetic seal stays unbroken. Sure, danger will happen, but in the end everything works out. The danger, though, isn’t the lulling thoughts that every works out. The danger, or at least the reason I don’t watch it, comes from the knowledge that it takes a fictional character to speak the truth to power. Put another way, very few politicians want to speak the words spoken on that show. Even fewer want to act on them. And that’s a big problem – investing energy in a show that not only mirrors reality but outdoes it.

I’m not up for watching a show that leaves me saying, “Wow. If only someone had the guts to say that in real life.”

In Which Joseph Farrah, Jim Schneider, Vic Eliason, Brannon Howse and Ingrid Slueter May Rape Puppies

August 11th, 2009 No comments

First off, I have no idea if they do or not.  I can’t see into their souls or know what they do when no one is looking.  And if it’s true, I’m sure they wouldn’t want anyone to see the kind of shocking immorality personified by having forced sex with little tiny dogs.  One wonders how you would go about such a thing.  Would you have to tie them down?  Would you drug them first so they were docile?  I really can’t answer these questions.  No can know for certain if the founder of World Net Daily and the on-air staff of Crosstalk America, a Christian radio talk show, engage in the kind of acts that Jesus would most certainly frown on.  But no one can rule it out, either.

Can they?

After all, the halls of Christian broadcasting lie littered with the remains of the fallen – Baker, Swaggart, Haggard – you know who they are.  Circumstantial evidence would suggest that if you make your living broadcasting your love of Jesus that there’s a high probability that you hide some deep, filthy secret that at some point in time will come out.

To be clear – I’m not accusing them of sadistically and brutally violating cute, fluffy, innocent, cuddly puppy dogs for base, sick, sexual gratification.  I said up front – I don’t know if they do.

Still, I call upon them to devote a segment of Crosstalk America to address these possibly damaging allegations – to give them to proper airing and vetting that they demand of…say…the President of the United States.

You see, Crosstalk isn’t actually a Christian radio show.  I used to give them benefit of the doubt.  No longer.  They morphed into a political extremist group singularly focused on overthrowing the American government and replacing it with a theocracy similar to that of Iran.

When you allow so-called “journalist” Joseph Farrah to spout the most irresponsible lies and half truths about the President of the United States, you have left the realm of humanity.  And, as Crosstalk will tell you, once your morals go, anything is possible – even puppy fucking.

Here are few of the myriad pieces of filth that Farrah spews

  • There’s evidence that Obama’s grandmother is his mother
  • Obama may not actually know his true relationship to his family
  • Obama probably did not write either of his books
  • Maybe it’s a co-incidence that Hillary Clinton “who’s in succession for the Presidency” just happened to travel to Kenya
  • Farrah will not trust the Director Of Public Health’s confirmation of Obama birth certificate – he needs to see it himself
  • Every Kenyan believes that Obama was born there and that should be proof enough that he was

I’m trying think of another time in which a political figure was accused of not being the mother of her baby and people condemned the rumor as baseless and proof of how low the political process had sunk.

Oh yeah.  Sarah Palin. To even suggest impropriety in that case got the torches of the religious right burning and the nooses looped.  Of course, it wasn’t up them to prove that it wasn’t true.  The accusers had to prove it was true.  Sarah was too demure to get her feet dirty answering such spurious charges.

So, Crosstalk Staff, where the hell do you come off insisting that the President of the United States respond to shit that you fling at him?  Really – is this the biblical way to act?  Does Jesus condone the kinds of lies and whispering that you give voice to?  Is your faith in God so weak that you will not trust in God’s plan for us? Do you honestly believ that it is incumbent on YOU to bring down a democratically elected official?  Do  you hate America that much?

Once more, I have no proof whatsoever that Farrah and the staff of Crosstalk are anything other than garden variety hypocrites whose zeal causes them to forget the teachings of the God they profess to believe in.  Apparently, though, you don’t need proof to make conditional statements – “they may,”they might”, “it’s possible”, “evidence leads me to believe that”, “it’s within the realm of possiblity.”

Thus, I call on Joseph Farrah, Jim Schneider, Vic Eliason, Brannon Howse and Ingrid Slueter to take to the airwaves and spend the hour assuring me, personally, that, despite baseless claims to the contrary, they do not rape puppies.  Furthermore, they need to take calls from the listeners – I’m sure they’ll have some questions.

Note: I have never understood those who said they felt physically sick listening to something.  I know do.  I literally almost threw up listening to this show.