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In Which The Key To Credibility Is The Prefix “Ex”

April 4th, 2011 No comments

Yesterday, I watched a clip of Louie “I Used To Be A Judge” Gohmert embarrassing himself by yelling at Anderson Cooper about Terror Babies. (HT to Beverly Russell)

What are Terror Babies? Generally, the term refers to other people’s children but in this case it refers to the babies of Muslim Extremists who travel to the US for the express purpose of giving birth in the US so that the child gets a US passport. After that, and I’m totally making a guess here since Gohmert doesn’t seem to know either, the proud, evil parents strap a bomb onto the new born and blow up a New Horizons day care center.

How does Gohmert know this? Because an ex-FBI agent told him. Which ex-FBI agent? Apparently, that’s none of our goddamn business. Does the FBI actually believe this? According to a statement given to CNN, no.  But it’s true because an ex-FBI agent to him.  Did Gohmert actually talk to the FBI about it? What’s the point? “On 9/10, the FBI would have said the same thing about an attack on America.” Which is true because the FBI deals mostly with domestic stuff. It’s the CIA that released the “Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US” info that bush ignored.

Speaking of the CIA – Now another ex, this time an ex-CIA agent, the vaguely foreign sounding Kent Clizbe, has written a hard-hitting article for NewsMax with the damning title of Ex-CIA Operative: Obama Never Properly Vetted. And when I say “article” I mean “poorly written and reasoned piece of shit”. BUT. He’s an ex-CIA agent so it’s gotta be true.

This power of this kind of PWARPOS rests in the presumption that the reader a) believes the premise and b) won’t actually read the PWARPOS since if they did they’d dismiss it immediately. The outline goes like this

  1. Trust me, I’m an ex-CIA guy and I can sneak up on ninjas.
  2. I have vetted people in the past. EXECUTIVE people. In the private sector.
  3. I vetted a tea party candidate and found out he was a scumbag. Hm. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
  4. A lying, thieving scumbag in the private sector isn’t the same thing as having a president who’s a lying, thieving scumbag like we have now.
  5. The media went NUTS vetting everything about John McCain.
  6. Obama was not vetted properly because he got elected.
  7. We need a professional vetter to make sure Obama never gets elected again.
  8. Commies are evil.

The slight of hand happens in these two back to back paragraphs:

In the 2008 presidential election, candidates were vetted by the press in varying degrees. The media examined, analyzed, and publicly evaluated them. They explored in detail John McCain’s personal wealth, marriage, place of birth, mental stability, and other important issues. McCain cooperated, provided documents, and answered questions.

On the other hand, Barack Obama’s background remains nearly a blank slate. His school records, from kindergarten to law school, remain hidden. The story of his financial support is hidden — his private elementary and high school in Hawaii, his international travel, his graduate and undergraduate tuition and living expenses, and more. And these are just the beginning of the Barack Obama vetting failure.

Who vetted McCain? The media. Who vetted Obama? I’m not going to tell you that but they didn’t do a very good job. What criteria did the media use to vet McCain? Everything. What criteria did this non-existent vetting organization use to vet Obama? A completely different set of criteria. Did McCain cooperate? Yes. Did Obama cooperate? Obviously not because the lying thieving scumbag get elected.

How does someone who wrote an autobiography qualify as a blank slate? How, when you use the information he provided in the autobiography against him, does he qualify as a blank slate? And who the hell would want to read an autobiography that included a chapter “My Kindergarten Records” or “Filling Out My Financial Aid Forms For Harvard”?

The most disturbing aspect of attempts to vet the mystery candidate was the Obama camp’s vigorous response. Their stereotypical response is nearly as damning as any information that could be revealed: Admitting nothing, denying everything, and making counteraccusations, the vetting of candidate Obama continues.

Good point. bush still hasn’t properly addressed his military service or the issues of his drug use. Obama did. In writing.

In the end, Clizbe believes we need a professional vetter. Who is this person? Do we create another layer of federal bureaucracy, increasing the size of government and bilking the tax payer out of his paycheck? Or do we subcontract the job out to some non-partisan company like Blackwater/Xi.

Oh! I get it. We should hire Kent Clizbe!

In Which Sarah’s Plain And Small

September 12th, 2008 1 comment

I’ve watched the two clips that ABC released of the [sarcasm] monumental [/sarcasm] interview with Sarah Palin and, gosh, maybe it’s my liberal bias but I don’t see anything that makes me think that (unlike Jamie’s mom) she’s got it going on.  In fact, it’s pretty goddamn scary.

One scary part is how ABC News parcels out the interview, making it next to impossible to quickly and easily find all the parts on their website.  Or why they’d want to cut it up to begin with.  Perhaps the McCain Cabal felt that by restricting her appearances to 2-3 minute clips, the full weight of what a cynical choice they made might be blunted.  That said, I’ve finally found a 9min clip dated 9/12.  I’m not going to link to it just so you can have the fun of finding it yourself.  As it stands, the fuzzy placard at the end of each of the…um…minisode announcing that Charley did an interview with Palin and be on the lookout for more, strikes me as almost sub-YouTube.

Palin’s answer to “are you ready to be the president” really should send chills up and down the spine of every American.

I answered him yes because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink.So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.

Wow.  Let’s do a little metaphorical skit.  Sarah Palin applies for a job at Cirque du Soleil

CDS: So, Governor Palin, have you ever done any tightrope walking before?

Palin:  No.  No, you betcha I haven’t.

CDS:  So, why would you be a good tightrope walker?

Palin:  I would be a good tightrope walker because I am confident that once I get up there, I’m not gonna fall down.

CDS: But, you have no real qualifications.

Palin: The local middle school put on a circus and I went to go see that.  I’m confident that I can do it.

CDS:  You’re hired.

That wouldn’t happen.  And yet, the ‘Licans are more than happy to have a VP that recently said that she hasn’t been following Iraq.  How do they get away with this stuff?  If Biden said something like that, the so-called “liberal media” would have him for breakfast.  Palin, though, gets Charley Gibson sitting across and pretending to ask Hard Questions (TM).

On the God question, she quickly and clunkily pivots her position right before our very eyes.  When asked about the performance at church in which is called The War (TM) a task from God, she hems and haws until Gibson asks her if, by deploying to Iraq, her son is embarking on a task from God.  “I don’t know if the task if from God, Charley.”  Let’s remember that the church video wasn’t years and years ago – it was three months ago.  That’s a pretty short time to turn your back on a task from God.

There are plenty more nuggets to mine, but the day job beckons.  I’ll leave off with a chipper lil fun fact courtesy of Sarah.  Did you know that Alaska is “the only arctic state in our union”?  IT’S TRUE!

Be very afraid.