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Archive for the ‘Poor Stupid White People’ Category

In Which The Gist Is More Important Than The Whole

November 8th, 2012 No comments

This may come off as bragging or it may come off as stupid, but, to the best of my knowledge,  I’ve never used Cliff Notes. I was drunk for most of my brief and abortive college career so it’s possible that that I took a Lit class without knowing it.  Perhaps it’s selective OCD, but if you’re going to read something, read it. While I was courting my bride, I remember feeling shocked and somewhat outraged to find that, as she sat reading Wittgenstein for her MDiv program, she was actually reading it.

“How many pages do you have left,” I asked.

“Like a hundred or so.”

“WHUH? I really don’t know how you do it. One hundred pages of that stuff? And you’re just ripping through it so quickly!”

“Oh,” she said, “you don’t have read every word. Just enough to get the gist of it.”

“B-b-but,” I stammered, “it’s a philosophical argument! The words are important!”

She patted me on the head like a cute but incurably stupid dog and continued reading.

YouTube, it needn’t be pointed out, isn’t literature. About 90% of it isn’t even art. One notable exception is “Chimpanzee Riding on a Sequeway.”

YouTube Preview Image

 But I digress.

Now that the election is over, we can all go back to our normal, non-batshit crazy selves, take our fingers off the triggers, flip the safety on and put down the guns.

JK! It’s gonna be even more fucked up than ever. Prime example: ShellyMicAB.

YouTube Preview Image

 I guess she chose her name because someone already claimed “CrazyDrunkenPsychoticMess”. I’ve listened to about three of the twenty-four mind numbing minutes of this and unless there’s some masterful stroke of rhetoric at the end, I’m not sure I need to listen to anymore. The shorter version goes like this

We lost th’ election! I’m drunk! I didn’t get my own waaaaaaaaay! Nobody watches my YouTube videoooooooooooooooooooooooooooos! If you had shared my YouTube videos Romney would be President. But, NOOOOOOO! you didn’t want to OFFEND anybody.”

I could probably spend a couple thousand words analyzing the nihilistic camera work but why bother?  [<—– Philosophy joke!]

The video itself doesn’t matter and is nothing that special. It’s typical whackjob ranting. It’s a somewhat subtle point, but there are two features that make this a perfect microcosm for the Wingnut-o-sphere.

The first one is obvious.

Comments are disabled for this video.

The second only pops up if, like me, you wanted to ask CrazyDrunkenPsychoticMess shellymicAB to have your rape baby and tried to send her a message to plead your case.

User shellymicAB has enabled contact lock. You will not be able to send messages to them unless they add you as a contact.

What does that tell you? That she literally lives in a bubble, firewalled from the outside world. And, honestly, I don’t have any problem with that except that she makes this statement repeatededly

…you didn’t want to OFFEND anybody

This kind of one-way communication nests almost exclusively in the Wingnut-o-sphere. “You will LISTEN to what I tell you and because it’s true, you are NOT allowed to point out my logical mistakes and/or outright lies.

Put another way, she doesn’t wish to be offended.

Maybe irony did die on 9/11.

In Which Neo-Nazis Confuse And Amuse Me

May 23rd, 2010 No comments

One of the things that always interests me is propaganda, especially how to sell an unpalatable idea to the mass public. How do you make healthcare a bad thing? How do you make safe food seem evil? Does learning actually hurt you?

Learning Makes You Less Godly

The most head-scratching come from neo-nazis, though. In the good ol’ days of UseNet, I’d troll alt.nigger sometimes and never failed to marvel at the inconsistency of today’s modern racist. One of my favorite threads concerned the legitimacy of fucking Halle Berry since she was hot and light-skinned. As Strom Thurmond proved, pussy is pussy and the penis knows no color barriers.

I’m collecting video for a personal propaganda project (you’re welcome) and in the course of it all got a little stuck on nazi stuff. It’s quite an accomplishment to drive an entire nation into the acceptance of genocide. Think about it. How do you convince the vast majority of your citizens that the only way to save the country is to kill the Jews? I understand genocide where warring factions have always been at war. I understand the Hatfields and McCoys. And, sure, Jews aren’t strangers to persecution.  BUT – the whole nazi thing boggles the mind.

Today, I got stuck on the video section of the Vanguard News Network. I watched Dolly Parton’s first TV appearance. Blonde+White+Big Tits=Good.

I found a folk song to the misunderstood Rudolph Hess

And then I found a category called “techno”.

Techno? I’ve heard a couple of rave mixes of Hitler speeches but those were meant to be ironic. As I looked down the rather short list, I found

Taco. Puttin’ on the Ritz. An Indonesian born Dutch guy, probably gay, singing a song written by a Jew. On a racist website. To spare you having to watch it, I’ll tell you why it’s there: Because there are a few shots of dancers in black face. That’s it.

It sums up most fanatical movements that they’ll turn their back on their entire ideology even for the tiniest crumb of validation. I doubt that they even know Irving Berlin wrote that song. Even so, in every conceivable way, that video reeks of non-white power. But there’s 30 seconds of black face, and I guess that enough

In Which Our Country Deserves Better PAC’s Services Are No Longer Needed

May 22nd, 2009 No comments

I need to channel my energy better.  I always mean to troll and end up engaging, instead.  There comes a point where distanced amusement turns to outright anger and OCDBPAC tends to find that point as easily as Deborah Jones finds the closet she keeps her strap-on hidden in so she and Joe can play Secretary.

The level of their denial rocks the brain and approaches Sinclairian standards.  Take the recent email sent by Mr. Jones (who, btw, has a thing going on).

According to the folks at YouTube, only 1,538 of you have listened to the new radio ad I recorded yesterday that takes Harry Reid to task for dishonoring our military men and women.  Friends, we have a lot more members than that so this means a lot of you have yet to listen to the ad.

Gosh, Lil’ Debbie, it’s almost like (how shall I put this) NO ONE FUCKING CARES.

I know that only a handful of people read this and I cherish every single one of you.  I might bitch about low numbers sometimes but, guess what, at the end of the day, it’s my problem.  I could write good old-fashioned earthy-crunchy “yay liberals” stuff.  I could jump on whatever band wagon Dkos hitched up for the day.  There are 12 gazillion ways to up the numbers to the point where the Google ad revenue would keep me rolling in clover.  The last thing I would do is send an email blaming you, my cherished readers, for not reading this enough.  Or not sending me money

Please take a moment to listen to the new ad below.  And if you agree with my message, then help me make sure every single voter in Nevada hears this ad next week, by making a contribution so we can purchase as much airtime as possible.

Translation, as if it were plain – “Waaaaaaah!  It’s YOUR fault if America turns into an athieistic, Socialist dictatorship because didn’t pay for my salary.”  But that’s not really the point.

Let me state that not all Republicans are wingnuts.  I know plenty of perfectly nice people who respectfully disagree me.  They don’t call me names.  They don’t besmirch my character.  As a result, we actually talk about things, which isn’t to say that things don’t get heated or that we’ll ever agree.

The classic wingnut just lies without any sense of remorse, conscience or fact.  Obama is not a socialist.  He does not hate the troops.  He is an American citizen.  He did not get blown in the back of a limo by a psychotic gay man.

The classic wingnut loves to call the left “Stalinist” implying that we insist on absolute and total fealty to the dogma laid down by the wingnut target du jour.  There are, of course, those who insist on lockstep adherence to liberal dogma.  I’ve heard plenty of conversations about how someone wasn’t “liberal enough”.  I have no use for those people.  However, they generally don’t take their dogma and go home.

Like OCDBPAC does.

I noticed a couple of days ago that the two copies of their emails that I usually got mysteriously became one copy.  Perhaps it’s because they read my responses to them and decided that I wasn’t on their list for the “right” reason. (Me so funny!)  All the more reason to subscribe with two different addresses.  It’s not the first time they’ve cut me off.  I’m kicked out of their Facebook group for pointing out that their math was heniously wrong when I came to interpreting polling data, a fact confirmed my wife who interprets data for a living.

Now, however, they’ve taken to deleting and banning comments on their idiotic YouTube radio ad.

It doesn’t seem to take much to get banned, either.  Just counter “Harry Reid hates the troops” with something true, like, say bush cut funding for veteran’s benefits.  Or that Walter Reed Hospital willfully and knowing neglected the veterans in their charge.  You’ll be banned in a heartbeat. In my case, I was banned after asking someone to read sources “outside your comfort zone if only to debunk them.”  How fucking incendiary am I?

To sum up – I was banned from Our Country Deserves Better PAC for

1) Disagreeing with them

2) Asking them to consider all sides of an issue

In short – I was banned for acting like an American.

In Which YouTube Puts You Down The Tube

January 22nd, 2009 1 comment

Take look at this title –

Canada – Evil Empire Or Third World Country

Notice anything odd about it.  Is Canada evil?  Is it part of the Third World?

If you have not spent the better part of a decade or four in a vat of lysergic acid you’ll probably answer “no” to both of these questions in which case you’re left with two viable options.

1) The person that came up with the title could well win the “Most Fucked Up Person On Earth” title

2) It’s a joke.

A piece of advice – when faced with that kind of choice – go for the joke.

When you watch a video criticizing Canada for having a corn and maple syup based economy and how there are corn fields 1/2 a mile outside of major metropolitan cities – it’s a joke.

When you read something along the lines of “Calling people a buncha names isn’t a substitute for a debate, you stupid retard loser,” it’s a joke.

When you…well, I could go on for days and days.  The moral of the story is that censorship is completely random.  I’ve been part of campaigns to get videos taken down from YouTube and NOTHING has been done despite so-called “community standards” rules.  I guess baseless accusations are only allowed on YouTube if you’re serious about them.  If you’re joking, they’ll get trashed.

How many complaints does it take to get a video removed?  Beast me.  They won’t say.  It could be one complaint, it could thousands.  What’s almost funny is what they tell you when, after fifteen minutes of digging, you find the complaint form.  This is it:

We are unable to provide specific detail regarding your account suspension or your video’s removal. For more information on our what we consider inappropriate content or conduct while using YouTube, please visit our Community Guidelines and Tips at http://www.youtube.com/t/community_guidelines and our Help Center article at http://help.youtube.com/support/youtube/bin/answer.py?answer=92486.

Translation – Why did we take it down?  You’ll have to guess because, frankly, we’ve got better things to do than bother with customers.

I’m both pissed and pleased, though.  Pissed because out of the 73 BBN videos on YouTube, one of the LEAST offensive got pulled.  And pleased because out of the 73 BBN videos on YouTube, one of the LEAST offensive got pulled.

I don’t get it, sometimes

Check out the original video on Facebook.

In Which I Help The HRC Campaign Get Their Message Out

May 21st, 2008 2 comments

If you’re a poor, uneducated white person who doesn’t want to vote for “that kind of person” then HRC wants your vote.  And if you’re planning on voting for HRC simply for that reason – if you’ll pledge to switch parties simply because “that kind of person” isn’t your kind of person then why not tell the rest of the country about it by using the ultimate American power tool – the bumper sticker

I mean, really, if you can go on national television and tell the country you’re a racist then buy a 50 pack and hand them out at church.

Go get some now!