Archive for the ‘larrytards’ Category

In Which This Is Hopefully The Last We Will Speak Of It

February 11th, 2009 3 comments

Yes, I know, famous last words and all but I say this with just cause – Larry Sinclair lost his federal case asserting that YouTube, Digg and Democratic Underground had to turn over the names of the the anonymous people that hurt his feelings by saying mean things about him.

I don’t need to gloat.  I don’t need to rub his face into it.  I don’t need to say I told you s-…ok, maybe I do need to say “I told you so” because, after all…I told you so, Larry, you wretched fuck.  And I say that with love.  Kind of.  You didn’t make it to the Big Rock Candy Mountiain, buddy.  You didn’t even make it to a reputable new source.

None of this will matter to him.  He’ll continue on blather on in his odd, gay, political version of Dungeons And Dragons.  “There is a 1 in 20 chance my lawyer will wear a kilt to my press conference and talk about how big his cock is – FUCK!  20!”  “There is a 1 in 20 chance that the judge will understand that even though I’m a convicted criminal and confessed to wanton sex and using illegal drugs that my reputation was besmirched and I deserve millions of dollars – FUCK – 4!”  He will continue on scrounging money and playing the victim of some conspiracy so vast that psychiatrists probably would roll their eyes and turn him back on the street.  I hear tell that he’s in an RV and…hell, I’ve got no idea how he got an RV, nor do I want to know.  He, like a drag queen version of Blanch DuBois, is more than happy to beg a few scraps from complete strangers.

When you reach a certain point of crazy you just never come back.  IMHO, it happened for Larry the moment he made the YouTube video with whoever the hell was in the hotel room with him.  I’ll give him a B+ for commitment since he did stomp his feet an quit a few times.  But the press conference to unveil a flowchart detailing the web of persecution that threatened him – damn – THAT was fucking insane.

What’ll he do now?  Who cares?

One thing he won’t do is find any evidence to back up his initial or subsequent claims.  He can’t do it.  He will not bring down Obama.  Not now.  Not in 2012.  Not ever.  That won’t stop him from surrounding himself with crazed zealots who don’t realize it’s NOT raining as he pisses on them or who just like to get pissed on.

Anywho, it’s done and I hope every just walks away from it.

Here are the two court documents for your legal eagle eyes.

(Oh, and, Mitch – should you comment, your comment will go into moderation.  Best not to bother.)

In Which There Are Scandals Of Which You May Not Be Aware

November 2nd, 2008 No comments

The odd thing about American politics is that even if you’re the best candidate for the job, if people find out you had sex with a consenting dog that belongs to you, you can kiss your political aspirations goodbye. In today’s political climate, Jesus would be portrayed as a socialist that hung out with homeless people and hookers. We all know that Obama is a Muslim, McCain is old, Palin’s an idiot and that Biden is Irish, but what about the tidbits that didn’t get any traction? What about the myriad of tiny little seeds that didn’t grow up into massive oaks of campaign-ending scandal? Here’s a quick overview

Did you know that Obama isn’t even an American citizen? It’s true! In August 2008, Philip Berg made the claim that despite Obama getting elected to the Illinois State Senate and the US Senate that somehow no one bothered to check if he was really born in the US. No. He’s not any American. He’s a Kenyan. Want proof?

A photocopy of his birth certificate does NOT show the state seal which means it must be missing on the original.

Why did they remake The Manchurian Candidate as a shitty version of a really great movie?

The answer is simple – To lay the groundwork to claim that all POWs held by communists are reprogrammed to climb to the height of power and then betray the United States of America to their Communist masters. NOW how comfortable are you that you voted for John McCain?

One of the more baffling aspects of the Obama campaign is how an Illinois state senator groomed by the Democratic elite somehow managed to become the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. It’s inexplicable! I mean, how many graduates of Harvard Law School actually became president? There must be a more nefarious explanation and, indeed, there is. It turns out that Obama is a hypnotist!

That’s right, using advanced hypnosis techniques, Obama managed to seduce somewhere between 47%-53% of the American public into thinking that without any previous presidential experience, he would make a good president.

Did John McCain call his wife a cunt? Probably. [NO PIC]

We know that Obama is a black racist, America-hating Muslim because he palled around in a Christian church with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright for more than twenty years. But what about his possibly common-law wife, Michelle? Certainly, she sat next to him quietly hating America in Trinity Church but we know that there maybe, possibly probably more than likely is a tape of Michelle Obama ranting about “whitey” for more than a half hour.

This tape used to be for sale on the Trinity Church website but someone bought up all the copies.

The greatest scandal that didn’t get covered, though, is that of Larry Sinclair

a thrice convicted felon put away on fraud charges that attempted to bring down the Obama campaign by alleging that he blew Obama in the back of a limo while Obama smoked crack. When THAT didn’t work, he accused Obama of selling drugs. What THAT didn’t work, he accused Obama of murdering three gay black men whom he also had sex with. When the media didn’t bite on that, the decent into madness became wackier than Daffy Duck in Duck Amok.

The number of people involved in this scandal is too long to list but it included that fact that Joe Biden and his son, Joe Biden Jr. conspired to arrange his arrest outside of his press conference.

So to sum up – America: You elected a scumbag.

In Which I Kill Two Birds With One Stone

August 30th, 2008 1 comment

With the advent of yet another semester on WMFO comes the promise of new projects.  Hopefully, Billy Bob Neck’s Hour of Bein’ Good with be back (and you could certainly send an email to both and to insure that it will be).  Since MFO doles out slots in two hour bundles, this semseter I want to get back into doing radio sketch comedy again.

I’ve always loved radio comedy.  Growing up, I heard the rumors about how a long, long time ago there was no TV and people listen to the “radio” for entertainment rather than shitty music, right wing rhetoric and fund drives.  It’s all bullshit, of course.  I don’t know about the rest of the world, but America has ALWAYS had TV.  However, in the early part of the 20th century, certain performance artists decided to use radio as what they refered to as an “antidote” to TV.  The funny thing is that they achieved a certain measure of success.  This is why many people think their grandparents and great-grandparents are lame – they actually listened to the radio rather than watched TV.

In the 70’s, radio sketch comedy had a breif revival.  One of the greatest of these shows was The National Lampoon Radio Hour.  It featured a bunch of newcomers like John Belushi, Bill Murray, Christopher Guest, Tony Hendra, Gilda Radner and a couple of others.

In 2003-4, I put together a few shows of sketch comedy with Derek Gerry, Erin Judge, myq kaplan, Lanie Schulbaum, Tim Fenn, Dot Dwyer and…I know I’m missing someone but I can’t remember right now.  With luck, a lot of work and the help of some of the fine and talented folks at Improv Boston we’ll be putting together even more and mo’ better radio sketch comedy this fall.

So – below you’ll find a selection from the previous shows as a treat for the casual reader, and a demo reel for those at Improv Boston.

I wasn’t the only writer, but I wrote these.

Emmanuel Goldstein School of Leadership
How to be a “Leader”

Mamet And Child
David Mamet reads a fairy tale to his new girlfriend’s kid

Noel Bush Illegal Drug Hotline
She’ll help get rid of your drugs

Gift of the Magi
A reworking of a classic Christmas tale

The Help the Heathen Foundation
Help the Iraqis find Jesus

Jesus’ Loan Denied
A Letter from the bankwith helpful suggestions

Christmas Tragedy
CNN crushes the indomitable will of a survivor

Lottery Lesson
A sound economic policy

Larry King – White Girl In Trouble
Please help this family cope with their grief

BONUS – The Aruban Connection
Ok – I didn’t write this.  Someone who really, really missed Natalie Holloway did.  But I wish I wrote as good as they done.

Categories: larrytards, Navel (Gazing At) Tags:

In Which I’m Sinclair-Free

July 29th, 2008 17 comments

A month or two ago, my wife asked me – “What’s all of this time and effort getting you?  What’s the payoff?  How does it advance you?”  I responded that I thought there could be a good book in it and that I was learning a lot about mob psychology and I was starting to get over my nervousness about calling strangers on the phone and asking them questions and there was the justice angle and….  I mumbled a lot of other things.  I knew what she was getting at – you’re neglecting the things that are dull and important and put food on the table for the things that are fun and exciting and do not but rather keep you up until 2:30am and leave you groggy and pre-occupied for the rest of the day.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.

And she’s right, of course.  This whole seven months has been gratis and at times even detrimental to our fiscal and household health.  There are those whose bills for Pacer must be staggering.  Long distance calls add up as does the cost of putting off work.  Some can afford it and others can’t.  That’s the way most things are.

And there’s the psychic toll.  A friend of mine spent the better part of two years doing legal work documenting all aspects of the treatment of prisoners at the US facility at Gitmo.  He went from COINTELPRO all the way up to the newest fads in torture.  At the end of it all, he was a wreck.  “How long can you read about torturing someone to the edge of death before you crack,” he said one day.  While this whole thing has nothing on Gitmo, the constant legal threats, the physical threats and mind games do wear you down – even if you don’t take them seriously.

And, as my wife said, for what?

In the beginning, the charges against Obama sounded so egregious and insane that many of us felt compelled to debunk them.  There was (or felt like there was) a possibility that these idiocies might well make it to Fox, who’s no doubt salivating for any shit they can fling at Obama.  For a great many of us, though, it had nothing to do with Obama – it was Morality 101.  Baseless accusations had no place in American politics.  We took action.  Sinclair decided to sue three random bloggers for…something.  I’d call it libel or slander but, as the defendants’ lawyer aptly pointed out, you can’t besmirch the reputation of a scumbag.  We redoubled our efforts and began debunking pretty much everything that came out of his mouth.  We had a battle mentality and the enemy was clearly drawn.

At that time, I voiced concern over whether we were helping or hurting – did debunking his claims validate them?  In any other situation, I think the answer would have been yes, but with a lawsuit and three broke, nervous and innocent people, there was no choice but move forward.

Sinclair somehow convinced the larrytards that they had to pay to exonerate him; through some sort of fairy magic he would compel Obama to testify at the trial.  This, of course, was pure bullshit but the larrytards ate it up…for a while.  Then they started to get bored.  Sinclair, who it must be admitted is a good showman, cynically and visciously used a murdered gay choirmaster from Obama’s church and accussed Obama of the murder.  The larrytards came flooding back.  It didn’t matter if it was true.  They wanted Obama crucified and would believe anyone who promised to deliver the goods.

It was after the choirmaster plot line that I felt it was over.  Sinclair had some limited success in “making some noise” (supermarket tabloids and their radio counterparts) but was incapable of not fucking up anything he touched.  The MSM, which he so desperately wanted to cover his story, refused.  So, naturally, the MSM was in on the coverup.  And from there, reality got left behind.  There is no chance that this story will ever make it past the internet – because he has no proof for anything he alleges.  Anything.  Blowing Obama?  No proof.  Obama kills the choirmaster?  No proof.  Sen. Joseph Biden actively persecuting Sinclair?  Nope.  It’s all made up.

So, here we are, seven months later.  WordPress kicked him out.  Hostmonster kicked him out.  Unless he’s using some neo-Nazi web host, they’ll probably kick him out, too.  Almost every single statement he’s made has been debunked and proved false.  There’s really nothing left to do.  It’s in the hands of the federal judge presiding over Sinclair’s case.  It’s also in the hands of the judge in Delaware where he’ll go up on theft charges in mid-August.

Sinclair is, above all else, an attention whore.  As I said previously, in the beginning there was a compelling reason to go after him even if it allowed him to sing his “why are they so afraid of lil ol’ me” song that the grandmothers and Walmart employees respond to so well.  Now is not then, though.  Now, he’s got no credibility with anyone of any importance.  Fox News won’t touch him.  When you sink to going on a racist radio show, buddy, you’ve fucked yourself.  Now, he’s running on fumes and, sad to say, every post we write about him heats up the tank a little more and creates more fumes.  We are now feeding him.  Lately he’s not even talking about his core issues – he’s fighting against us and, in doing so, expanding his conspiracy theory.  The larrytards don’t understand anything we say.  They, like the sheep in Animal Farm, can only bleat out the words they were taught to say over and over again.  They don’t want to think.  It’s too hard for them.  He has other supporters who know he’s lying but feel the lie could gain traction and destroy Obama.  Case in point: xjlib from BHDC.  When presented with a contridiction that destroys the “Obama as Murderer” plot line, xjlib tries so strenuously to avoid answering it that he shows his hand – Sinclair is lying but he doesn’t care.  Roger Friendburg (or whoever the hell the radio show host is) also pretty much admitted that Sinclair is lying but that he so anti-Sinclair that it doesn’t matter.  The ends justify the means.

So, why continue?  Why actively add new pages to his book of bullshit that do nothing but bolster his paranoia?  There have been several missed chances to let his star burnout – which was every time he got weepy and threatened to quit.  One specific instance, he seemed ready to close down the whole operation.  Sure, he may have been doing it for effect BUT – rather than stand quietly to one side as the larrytards wept and rent their flesh and cried “please don’t go!” we egged him on and actively challenged him to continue.  Our jeering and ridicule energized him and the larrytards and they redoubled their efforts.

That was stupid.

It’s my opinion that we’ve got to stop going after the death blow.  It’s never going to come, at least not by our hand.  And the thought that it will leads us to parrot the larrytards refrain of “this thing’s gonna blow any day now.”  We’re constantly proclaiming his last gasp and yet it never comes.  Even in the best case scenario where he gets thrown into a Delaware jail for decades, he’ll still conduct his sad little hobby from his jail cell.  The larrytards won’t let him stop.  Jailhouse interviews with Jeff Rense?  Why not?  He’s a vampire who will only die under the right circumstance.

That circumstance is apathy – a conscious and deliberate turning away from him, depriving him of the oxygen/blood that keeps him alive:  attention and conflict.  Why do you think they put him in solitary so often – because it drove him fucking crazy.  He’s not fighting against anyone except us.  No one else will give him the time of day.  We are all he has.  We provide platform after platform and soapbox after soapbox for him to stand and pontificate to the larrytards

LS:  Those bastards in the cesspool won’t rest until they murder me!
LT:  NO!  NO!
LS:  But we will destroy them first
LS:  Give me more money to…do things with!

Take away that platform and take away that soapbox and it sounds a little different

LS:  Those bastards in the cesspool won’t rest until they murder me!
LT:  Is the cesspool still around?
LS:  But we will destroy them first
LT:  Um…they haven’t talked about you in weeks.  Have you always been this crazy?
LS:  Give me more money to…do things with!
LT: Yeah, about all that money we’ve given you…when is something going to actually happen?

And so I’m making my own small contribution to letting Sinclair go down with a whimper rather than a bang.  I’d actually take much more satisfaction in seeing him dribble back into the pathetic nothing he was before this whole thing started.

Thanks to all the wonderful people that I’ve met along the way.  You’re truly amazing people and an inspiration!


In Which I Challenge These Idiots To Shut Up

July 6th, 2008 6 comments

Dear sweet jesus.

We have come to a very weird place indeed when the larrytards now turn on the gods and goddesses who rule over the Hell called Fox News.  It goes to show just how far down the rabbit hole they’ve gone and what a undeserved sense of self they have to watch them DEMAND that a national news organization (and I use the term loosely) pay attention to the 56 odd defectives that post on papatard’s web-lie.

First, Wells DEMANDED that Sen. Joseph Biden come clean about his role in the conspiracy to “silence” papatard.  I’m not sure whether this pathetic plea for validity is an upgrade or downgrade from that.

TV news has hit a new low. A news reporter that I once respected, Greta Van Susteren, and a former news show, Fox News, have become major disappointments. Just a few weeks ago my lady and I were watching Greta on Fox and we both remarked at how much she had changed. Greta used to be a hard hitting, no nonsense news seeker. Now she hosts an entertainment show. Well, I have had it!

Greta recently posted the following:

“June 18th, 2008 11:00 AM Eastern
Here is why…
by Greta Van Susteren
Many of you email me asking why I don’t interview Larry Sinclair….here is why (click on the link)

click here…

I assume you now know why I have not interviewed him and no one has…his 27 year criminal record and all sorts of other matters mentioned in the above link tell you short, no credibility.

I urge all of you to look to the issues…and not to the smears. While the internet is a great communication and educational tool, it is also viral when it comes to smearing people. There are good reasons to be skeptical of what politicians promise you.. challenge them about those promises…question their policies…but let’s skip unsubstantiated smears.”

The click here points to this site:

So, greta is basing her decision to not interview Sinclair based on rumors, smears and one biased blog?

HA!  Uh…yeah.  One biased blog?  Kinda like the way the larrytards cream over which provides no back up for ANYTHING it says? You mean, that kind of biased blog?  It takes a certain specific type of craziness to form those thoughts in your mind and then type them out and publish them.  Just to be clear – there are other larrytard blogs but they mostly copy and paste from papatad’s blog and add something like “THIS THING’S GONNA BLOW ANY DAY NOW”.  Honestly, I haven’t looked that hard but NOBODY seems to be doing any kind of investigation into whether papatard is telling the truth.  Oh, sure, they’ll publish the names and addresses of those who dare to ask for the tiniest morsel of evidence and attempt to shred the reputations of the non-believiers but as to supporting documentation?  Nope.  Sorry.  Judge Judy is on and they can’t miss that.

Rumors and smears?  Again – where’s the proof?  It doesn’t exist.  Both The Mitch and Nan Show and Death By 1000 Paper Cuts have done solid reporting debunking pretty much everything papatard says.  The only thing the larrytards have done is repeat, zombie and cult-like, their fervent belief that papatard must be telling the truth because he’s a criminal.  papatard certianly hasn’t given any.

Even better, Wells continues

So, what is the reason Greta?

It goes to the heart of the matter that even though Greta gives the reason that she’s not reporting on it, Wells refuses to see it.  It’s as if he’s saying, “Until you admit that papatard is telling the truth, I will not trust anything you say.”

Are you drooling over Obama?

Are you more interested in doing an entertainment show?

Are you afraid of being tagged racist?

This is the classic papa/larrytard gambit – ask a bunch of stupid questions.  Why are you afraid?  What are you hiding?  Why won’t you answer these rhetorical questions?  In the larrytard world, not supporting papatard means you support Obama.  I’m not sure that Greta does, although I couldn’t really tell you.  It’s beside the point.  Not believing a career criminal means you hate America and you’re secretly afraid of black people.

Are you afraid to get your hands dirty and do some real work? Some real news reporting?

HEE HEE!  Sounds like she already did her reporting, you stupid fuck.  She dug around and found out that there’s not one shred of evidence to support papatard’s claims and a MOUNTAIN of evidence that shows that taking him at his word is a bad idea.  Seriously – how do you hold a press conference promising to bring forth evidence, NOT bring forth evidence and then still have followers left at the end of the day?  How?  You’re a con artist skilled at keeping the eyes of your marks as far away from the truth as possible.  Almost three weeks after the airlines sent his bags to France (um…no…they didn’t) he still has not produced the evidence that luggage theoretically contained.  Even more shocking – not one larrytard has asked for it.  Do some reporting on THAT, Wells.  Find out where the luggage is and what it contained.  Then you can start bitching about Greta’s lack of reporting.

Greta, and most of the rest of MSM, I and other bloggers and truth seekers have been doing your job. I actually speak to Larry Sinclair. I ask questions without assuming. I do not drink the “kool aid”. In fact, I have researched and written about Dan Shomon, Obama’s former campaign manager and co schemer in getting state grants for Robert Blackwell companies. You see, Greta, the Sinclair story did not happen in a vacuum. If you had been doing your job, you would have been aware of all the crime, curruption and drug connections that make Sinclair’s story more believeable.

OOH!  Wow!  You mean papatard tells you what to say, you believe him unconditionally and call that “reporting”?  Wells, you may ask questions without assuming but I think they sound something like this

Wells: Larry, did you blow Obama while he smoked crack?
papatard:  Yes.  I did.
Wells:  Really?
papatard:  Yes.  Really.
Wells:  Well.  It doesn’t get more definitive than THAT!
papatard:  I’m a truth teller.  That’ll be $200 for the interview.
Wells:  Best money I ever spent!

What do Blackwell and Rezko have to do with papatard?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  It’s more smoke and fuel to stoke the fires of Obama-hatred.  But if you collect enough untruths and tie them up with a pretty ignorance-colored ribbon then it doesn’t matter what bullshit scandal you’re talking about – it’s all one great big fake scandal and the specifics don’t matter.  You’ve judged him guilty of one so he’s guilty of everything.  Kinda like the way the Republican primaries work.

And guess what, one of the bloggers that has tried the hardest to discredit Larry Sinclair and anyone else seeking the truth about Obama, has been found out. This person has a recent criminal record. The is the same blogger that lied and took credit for Larry’s arrest. If you had bothered to check, the blogger’s information was incorrect. If you go to my blog, you will find the facts.

HEH!  Even if this is true (and as I recall, it was a conflict with a client, not a “criminal” matter) you’ve shot yourself in foot AGAIN proving what a raging hypocrite you are.  The whole “I believe papatard” movement rests on a single notion – just because he’s a career criminal doesn’t mean he’s not telling the truth.   (Yeah.  I know.  That’s why they’re called larrytards.)  By Wells’ own logic, there is no good reason NOT to believe “one of the bloggers”.  (You’ll note that Wells is too chickenshit to even name said blogger).  If being a “criminal” does not discount papatard from being truthful then why would Wells insist that “one of the bloggers” must be lying because he’s a “criminal”?

I have studied Barack Obama and Larry Sinclair and I can assure you that Mr. Sinclair has more credibility with me.

Soooo…let’s go over this again.  A career criminal with a history of fraud, drug running, human traficking and who has two outstanding warrants, one from late 2007,  has more credibility than a US senator that worked his way up from poverty to become a presidential candidate.

HOW does that work again?

So Greta. I challenge you to do some real reporting.

I also challenge you to contact me. I have facts as the result of hard work that I can provide. That is, if you care.

I love these challenges!  Especially since they only work one way.  On 7/25, I offered my own challenge to Wells.  He has never responded to it, which means he is guilty of raping puppies and feeding them to weavils.  In my opinion, that’s worse than being a career criminal OR a presidential candidate.  Currently, I have a challenge “awaiting moderation” challenging Wells to prove that papatard is telling the truth.

He won’t respond to either, I’m sure.  Why?  Because the first charge 1) is so spurious and unbelievable that to acknowledge it would do more harm than good and 2) he doesn’t give a fuck who I am.  Which is the precise reason that neither Obama, Biden or Greta will acknowledge him or any larrytard.  It’s pointless.

As to the second charge, you’d think that he’d want to clear that up.  Not so much.  He wouldn’t know the truth if it blew him.

In Which I Couldn’t Stop Laughing

June 25th, 2008 5 comments

Ok.  It should be known that I do a lot of trolling meaning that I like stirring shit up.  There are a lot of ways to do it but the easiest way is through comments on the target’s blog.  The hardest is an out and out troll blog and, yes, I have a couple of them.  One of which got linked to as an authoritative source for information on papatard.  THAT was a score of epic proportions and thank you sooo much to the anonymous asshole in Chicago that linked to it.

You’d think that trolls should be able to spot other trolls at the drop of a hat.  It’s not so.  At heart, most trolls do it to advance their political and/or social agenda.  Unless their just psychopaths.  Thus, I’ve fallen for troll sites hook line and sinker.  One of the “whitey” videos I found particularly horrendous, turned out to be a joke.  I wrote back to the guy and congratulated him.  It’s only right.

Thus, as you wend your way through tardville (which encompasses the larrytad sites as well as papatard’s web-lie) you start to ask yourself, could all of this be one big elablorate joke?  Could this be the prank of all pranks?  Can people actually be this blindly stupid to believe this textbook case of the ultimate loser?  And just when you’ve convinced yourself that it’s a joke, you remind yourself that almost nobody can fake a prison record or an arrest warrant and the next thing you know your curled up under the covers in your bed in fetal position, rocking slowly back and forth, wondering if America can survive until at least your great-grandkids are dead.

But just in the depths of your despair, the universe gives you another gift that makes the whole thing absolutely fucking hysterical, so THANK YOU, CITIZEN WELLS!

A brief recap – papatard had his press conference at the end of which he was arrested on an outstanding warrant in Delaware.  He spent a couple of days in…well…let’s call it a hotel that the larrytards didn’t have to pay for.  Apparetnly, the…um…hotel staff didn’t get the message that papatard is in constant chronic pain and frequently can feel certain parts of his body, whatever sounds most pathetic in the moment.  (papatard, as you remember, can’t eat because of an ulcer and, instead, claims he drinks 36 pepsis a day “to keep his weight up”.)

Anywho, he finally got sprung and I’m too lazy to find out how much it set the larrytards back if, in fact, they had to pay for it.  He’s currently stay with “a host” who I pray to GOD has a Sam’s club membership because 36 Pepsis a day runs into a nice chunk of change and papatard’s broke because his Social Security benefits got cut off for BEING A FUCKING CRIMINAL.  Ooops.  Sorry about that.

To continue – we all know that the entire world is against papatard’s valiant struggle to someday present the evidence that he blew Obama while blah blah blah.  HOWEVER – Citizen Wells recently discovered the chink in the armor of papatard’s persecutors – SEN. JOSEPH BIDEN!  You heard that right.  Biden is the key to the whole thing because Biden’s SON is the Attorney General of Delaware and TWO DAYS before papatard’s press conference, guess who submitted legislation to “encourage States to enter new and outstanding felony warrants into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database”?


Game!  Set!  Match!



That’s really stupid.

Why the FUCK would a US Senator 1) even know about papatard and 2) care enough about him to push forward a bill that would have no effect on papatard’s press conference?  He introduced the bill.  No one voted on it.  Is Citizen Wells suggesting that the federal government tried to push through legislation in two days simply to arrest some three-time loser after his press conference?

Why, yes, he is!

Is that not one of the funniest things you’ve ever seen in your whole life?

Why, yes, it is!

Seriously, I’m glad that no one was home when I read Well’s blog.  I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the cops.

OH SHIT!  I almost forgot the punchline!  Not content with acting like a papatard wannabe, accusing Senators of malfeasance, Wells ends this post with what could be called “The papatard Credo”

Senator Biden, are you, your son, the Attorney General Of Delaware, or any member of your staff, responsible for any of these attacks and smears on Larry Sinclair?

Senator Biden Or Attorney General Biden,  I suggest that you
investigate what has happened to Larry Sinclair and respond on
this blog or with a public statement. No response will be
considered an admission of guilt.

a-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  “No response will be considered an admission of guilt”!

Ok – how’s this then

Citizen Wells – Is it true that you rape puppies and then feed them to weevils?  Is it true that you are nothing but an opportunistic hack with absolutely no sense of morality whatsoever?  Is it true that you actively ignore the blatant lies that papatard has told in order to boost your own pathetic sense of self?

No response will be considered an admission of guilt!!!


UPDATE 7pm – Wells has not yet responded.  He is guilty.

UPDATE 7:30pm – Wells has not yet responded.  He is guiltier than he was a half hour ago.

UPDATE 2:00am – Wells has not yet responded.  I have been hoping that he would because I like to think the best of people.  But he looks more and more guilty.  My stomach is tied up in knots over this.

UPDATE 8:30am – Wells has not yet responded. You really have to ask yourself – why wouldn’t he clear his name?

In Which papatard Is In Jail

June 18th, 2008 6 comments

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to type that.  Really.  Excuse me while I do a little victory dance again





Thanks.  Sorry about that.  But papatard is in jail and I’m thrilled.

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, he’s not in jail because of the Obama bullshit.  His incarceration is hopefully the beginning of the karmic comeuppance due to him.  It’s known that it’s for an outstanding warrant, probably from Delaware, although there’s still a Colorado warrant outstanding, as well.

What’s lovely is that he was arrested shortly after the press conference ended.  And I mean, shortly.  From the way I understand it, he left the building and, according to “moma”, was arrested by two “U.S. Marshalls”.  This means that barely had the notion of how badly the press conference went sunk into his Augustus Gloop head when John Q. Law swooped in and slapped the cuffs around his bologna-sized wrists.  I don’t care who you are – that’s some kinda harsh.  Not as harsh as what I’d hope for, though

Cops – Are you Lawrence Wayne Sinclair?
Papatard – I’m doing a press conference.
Cops – I asked you if you Lawrence Wayne Sinclair?
Papatard – Yes.
Cops – You’re under arrest.  Please come with us.
Cops – Jesus, you really are retarded, aren’t you.
Sibley – Now see here, you can’t just arrest my client on an outstanding warrant!
Cops – You’re Sibely?
Sibley – Montgomery Blair Sibley Esq!  Yes!
Cops – Nice kilt, asshole.  You’re under arrest, too for contempt of court.  Your license to practice law is suspended.
Cops – Shut the fuck up. (to audience)  Press conference is over, folks.  Move along.

He was simply whisked away like…well, a common criminal.  No champagne.  No after party.  No all night orgy paid for with somebody else’s money.  Just a hopefully dank and depressing jail cell where papatard can have a horrible night’s sleep while he prays that, despite the definate possibility of flight risk, they’ll let him out on bail…paid for by somebody else’s money.

I haven’t had the chance to listen to the whole press conference yet.  I’ve been too busy tooling around in the Rolls Royce Drophead Coupe with the trunk stuffed to the bursting point with non-sequential hundred dollar bills that Axelrod personally dropped off at my house after the arrest. (He begged me to go on roadtrip to Montreal and I told him to give me the keys and then to go fuck himself…which he did).  I did, however, get to watch an excerpt of the video on YouTube and what I saw made me giggle.

What?  Me guilty?

Now, the kind among you might say that one screenshot doesn’t mean anything, so go ahead and watch the video.  Let’s check in with someone who was there – Seth Colter Walls from the Huffington Post

It is not often that a political reporter can claim to have witnessed the single most stupefying event on any single day, what with the diversity of inanity on display from coast to coast in an election year. But today, I feel confident laying claim to that dubious distinction, for I attended Larry Sinclair’s Wednesday press conference at the National Press Club.

Low praise, indeed.  Throughout the video, papatard seems ill at ease and combative.  He’d say that it’s because of the spinal damage he incurred that left him on permanent disability makes it difficult for him to stand.  But why did he stand, then?  Take away the podium and sit at the table!  Hell, FDR did it, right?  No, no.  Not papatard.  He wants the podium, the pulpit.  He wants to preach just like his hero, crazy fucked up Pastor Manning.  See, that’s what they do on the television.  They stand behind a podium.  So, in the David Lynch movie that plays without irony in his head, he stands.  Is it going too far to ponder if he had a hard-on during the entire thing?  We conjecture – you decide.

I’m sure there will be more PC talk later, but the money shot of the video (kudos to CNN!) comes around 6:50 when in a brilliant moment of actual truth telling, papatard says, (in response to the classic, “you’ve been a scumbag for most of your life, why should we believe” you question)

Well, to be honest with you, it’s not so much as to whether you believe me or not, as much as you hear me.

And that’s papatard in a nutshell.  It contains every single thing you need to know about this twisted, fucked up ex-con.  He doesn’t care about what anybody thinks.  He doesn’t care that people laugh at him and heap ridicule on him.  He only cares that you acknowledge his existance.  That he is alive.  And he doesn’t care what he has to do to make that happen.  He’ll lie, cheat, steal, bilk – it doesn’t matter.  It’s like he never stopped listening to Tommy: The Who.  I once wrote a sketch about some loser child who is so desparate for attention that he claims to be autistic – “HEY!  LOOK AT ME!  I’M AUTISTIC!  CAN’T YOU HEAR ME??  I’M TALKING TO YOU!”  Little did I know I was writing about papatard

papatard LOVES to talk about personal responsibility and how he (*cough* *hack* *wheeze*) has ALWAYS accepted it.  He talks about walking into a police station and turning himself in.  But it wasn’t, I believe, that he was accepting responsibility – he was making an enterance.  He talks about it as if he were some God of Morality showing the commoners how it’s done.  But, like most things, he downplays the fact that he first committed a fucking crime.  You don’t turn yourself into the cops for no reason.  You don’t get brownie points for doing the cops’ job for them.  Wanna take responsibility?  Don’t be a fucking criminal. Free advice, I know, but pretty good advice.

If he wasn’t an attention whore, then how could he, in good conscience, spend thousands of dollars of other people’s money and say…jack shit.  I’ve skimmed (not perused) through the press statement and it says nothing that hasn’t been said anywhere else.  More importantly, there is no evidence brought forward, no relevations made, no nothing.  It ends, as did his first abortive lwa suit against, of all things, the DNC to make them stop harrassing him, by insisting that Obama address the lies that papatard tells.  It’s truly an alternate universe he lives in where the accuser simply accuses and then goes home, because, I guess, that’s what accusers do – accuse.  He literally misses a major part of the concept of justice.  Perhaps it’s because all his life people have accused him and he’s been innocent every single time but just not able to disprove it.  Hence the accusations against him puts him away for another bid in the pokey simply because he could not prove them false.  So now it’s his turn to make an accusation and gloat about how Obama can’t disprove it.

Anywho –

His arrest changes absolutely nothing.  Literally.  We are where we were this morning only with papatard in jail.  The larrytards still support him, of course, and support him with more fervor.  Their leader has been wronged!  How dare he be called to question for some silly little crime he committed?  How DARE Mitch and Nan meddle in things that have no concern to them??  How DARE they try to get a criminal off the street??

No, papatard is a emotional fiscal vampire who will continue to suck money and souls out of the larrytards and, when they complain, cut them off brutally.  He’s already done it a couple of times.  papatard has created a cult – a true, unwavering cult – that lives and breathes only for the sweaty, sausage fingered touch of papatard.  As stated before, his suspended lawyer, Sibley, said that Jesus was persecuted, too.  And moma – my god – if you have any doubt as to why papatard is as fucked up as he is – taken a gander at this

I am so proud of him. The cesspool [The Mitch and Nan Show] can giggle all they want but they can never be as good a citizen as he is. Mistakes & all.

Proud?  Forgive me the judgment, but the day that I’m proud of my kid for being a career criminal that ran drugs, trafficked in humans, defrauded companies and people and tried to bring down a presidential candidate with a poorly constructed fairy tale, please take me out to the desert, tie me down and leave me to die slowly so I can think about how badly I failed as a parent.

Still, you celebrate the victories you have.

Stop by and thank the crew for their hard work

In Which papatard Is The Gold Standard For Hypocrisy

May 23rd, 2008 2 comments

“Quack quack – all of you cowards attack me anonymously – quack quack – and it’s JUST NOT FAIR – quack quack – all I’ve done is make damaging claims that I will never back up and DEMAND you believe them or I’ll publish your personal information on my weblie – quack quack – WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN TO ME – quack quack”

That’s pretty much been papatard’s descant for…oh…five months.  Of course, like Stalin, who lived in splendor while the peasants starved, believing him to be “one of the people” and like bush, who’s pretty much like Stalin in his insistence that you “do as I say, not as I do”, papatard DEMANDS to play by a different set of rules.  Thus, he attempts to deflect any discussion of the actual issue by loading his shotgun with new lies and pulling the trigger.  Now that I think about it, it’s oddly like Evangelicals who, when you ask for proof of the existence of God, smugly cross their arms and insist they won’t talk to you until you prove he doesn’t exist.  (Note:  If you want a good rebuttal to that one, check out Why Does God Hate Amputees.)

The new tactic is emailing the super-delegates.  It’s a sign of both how desparate and stupid they are that they didn’t start with this step.  But then HRC was a lock, right? 😉  Of course, the super-delegates don’t know papatard from shinola so they make the mistake of writing the larrytard who emailed them back.  This  then gets posted on papatard’s weblie in an attempt, I imagine, to “shame” them.  Something along the lines of ‘HOW DARE YOU INSULT A MAN YOU’VE NEVER MET WHO’S SIMPLY TRYING TO GET THE WORD OUT THAT HE BLEW BARACK OBAMA WHILE OBAMA SMOKED CRACK!??  HE’S TELLING THE TRUTH!  HE PROMISED HE WAS!”

Here’s the thing, though – when they post the emails, they include the super-delegate’s email address but not the address of the larrytard that sent it.

Huh?  I thought this whole thing was supposed to be about owning up to your personal responsibility.  Aren’t anonymous trolls the lowest scum imaginable?  I guess not.  Not when it comes to “protecting” larrytards.  I’m guessing the rationale is that if he published a larrytard email address then Obama would put out a hit on that person…even though the address is probably from a fake gmail account.  I mean, they’re innocent, right?  It’s not like they’re a super-delegate attempting to destroy democracy by, as one larrytard put it so politely, “having the DC police forcibly dragging the president of the United States out of the White House for murder and drug dealing”.  These super-delegates did nothing except their civic duty.  As a result, I’ve no doubt their receiving some fairly derogatory emails condemning them for having an opinion not shared by papatard.  What a lovely little fascist fuedal system he’s created.  papatard uber alles.  Is kristallnacht next?  Will Deatheaters, their faces hidden, show up at the homes of pro-Obama super-delegates and throw rocks at their windows to support der Fuck-tard?

In reality, 90% of papatard’s support would dry up if there was even a hint that their identities could be ferreted out.  Pun intended.  In papatard’s America, only he would have signed the Declaration of Independence while the rest of the useless fucks celebrated unseen in the next room whispering about how brave they all were and how King George would never be able to identify them if went south.  Victor, before he defected, wouldn’t fess up to who he is.  A “screen name” is not a person.  As the ubiquitous New Yorker cartoon says – “On the internet, no one knows you’re a dog”.  I wonder what would happen to papatard’s support if his supporters email and home addresses started magically appearing?  I bet they wouldn’t think it was as funny, somehow.

Me?  I’d think it was hysterical.

So, if you’re a super-delegate or a victim of papatard who’s recieved any emails due to his a-morality and un-Americanism, feel free to leave the whole email in the comments or, if you’d rather, just the email address.  And, on the off chance that some appear, please make sure to send a note or twelve to each little larrytard asking them how it feels to be outed without their consent.  I’m sure they’ll thank you.

In Which I Explain, By Example, Why They Are Called “larrytards”

May 21st, 2008 7 comments

via The Mitch and Nan Show

papatard is running a probably illegal lottery to raise money for a “press conference” in DC.  B-b-b-but, WTF, says this little larrytard –

Jude Says:
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 12:35 pm
I looked at the Nat’l Press Club Calander and didn’t see Larry listed. When will the press conference be??

And THAT, ladies and germs, is why they are called “larrytards”.

UPDATE – I feel compelled to add on to this a little for those who may not understand the concept of “press conference”.  I don’t claim to be an expert by any stretch of the imagination so I could be spewing shit myself.  However, I have gone to a couple of them.

A “press conference” can be held anywhere – the WH briefing room, a function room at a Hojos or even outside the crack house you may call home.  The trick is to get the press there by sending out a press release.  My favorite was a “press conference” held by Randall Terry, formerly of the hardcore anti-abortion outfit, Operation Rescue and currently of Operation Rescue 2.0.  I subscribe to so I see a lot of what comes across.

A while ago, while Guiliani was still in the race, Terry sent out a press release telling everyone that he would be conducting a press conference at that Boston of the Republican National Committee to shame them into dropping Guiliani.  Feeling that the RNC really wouldn’t host this kind of press conference, I sent an email to the head.  He replied that this was the first he’d heard about it and thanked me for the heads-up.

The day of the press conference, I jumped in the car and drove downtown.  I was about 15 minutes early so I circled around the the building that housed the RNC.  I saw four men and a seven year old boy holding signs calling Guiliani “the devil” and “satan”.  I passed one news van from the local Fox affiliate but no cameras could be seen.   One of the things I learned is that, when going to one of these things, make sure you can visually identify who you’re going to see.  It turned out that one of the men was Terry and that the boy belong to him.  Mind you, I was fifteen minutes early.

I parked and asked the group where the RNC was.  They pointed to the building and I walked in.

“Hi,” I said to the woman in the completely empty office, “I’m here for the Randall Terry press conference.  She stared at me blankly.  “Um,” I continued, “I saw a press release that Randall Terry would be holding a press conference here to denounce Rudy Guiliani’s candidacy for president.”

“Um,” she mirrored back, “he was here but there wasn’t a press conference.  I think he’s downstairs holding a sign or something.”

And, that, was Randall Terry’s big press conference.

The End.

PS – Ok.  Here’s the only footage of the “press conference” that I’m aware of

In Which It Bears Comment

May 21st, 2008 6 comments

Yes, yes, I know that I wasn’t going to soil this thing with any more papatard excrement but, honestly – what a fucking sociopath.

The name Fred Fischer probably doesn’t mean anything to anyone.  Honestly, I had to look it up.  Fischer worked for Joseph Welch whose law firm represented the Army in the Army-McCarthy hearings that ultimately brought down Tail Gunner Joe (who, ironically, was also heavily medicated).  McCarthy accused the Army of harboring commies and, not really finding any and getting a good ass-kicking, began to flail about.  Is any of this sounding familiar?  In what was meant to be a coup de grace, McCarthy accused Welch of harboring commies in his law firm – Fred Fischer.

Fischer was supposed to help Welch out during the hearings.  However, after Fischer told Welch that he had belonged to the National Lawyers Guild, during, and a little while after, law school (a supposed commie front organization), Welch thought it prudent to bring someone else.  McCarthy, to prove the full extent of his scumbaggery and despite an agreement not to bring Fischer up…brought Fischer up.  That’s where the immortal “at long last, have you no shame” line comes from.

papatard never had any shame to begin with, so that line has no power over his a-morality.  He’s now so scared and desparate that any remotely negative mention of him results in the inclusion of not only your name on his blog but now your full address.  His latest victim knows only the bare bones of the story and played no part in the succesful debunking his central lie or any of the multitude of subplots that came to papatard in a morphine induced haze.  Not only that, but like some kind of autistic child, once he fixates on you, he won’t let go – even if you posted a few comments on his web-lie and then threw up your hands in disgust.  I’m not talking about me, I’m talking about my shoulder angel/devil Denise.  Denise, too, did no debunking but simply and proper told papatard that he was full of shit.  More?  Ok.  My friend, Derek Gerry, to the best of my knowledge, has never even visisted papatard’s web-lie and yet, simply because he knows me and we did a radio show together, papatard dragged him into his fever dream by posting a picture of Derek and I, labelling him as “Mr. Gerry”.


papatard’s whole raison d’etre (and Mitch gets NO credit for that phrase) is convincing the larrytards that he’s serious.  Not that he’s RIGHT, mind you, but just that he’s serious.  The only action he knows is attack.  larrytards, like vampires, must have new blood.  They’re easily bored since Jerry Springer only plays a few times a day.  This means fresh meat.  He knows that if he stops attacking, the larrytards might start asking for evidence of his original charge.  Several already left the fold.  I guess five months of “you vill beleef me or be banish-t” wore thin.  You can’t spend that kind of time asking Obama to prove a negative without offering proof that it actually happened. Statements like this

In these documents and affidavits Mr. Levy makes statements he knows to be outright LIES and I believe Mr. Levy should back them up at once or face legal action

are bound to make even Lenny say, “Geooorge – how come he tell man to back up lies when he no back up lies himself?  He sound like he mean to rabbits.”

From the start, I believe, this has had nothing to do with Obama.  This has been about winding up the noise machine so the central issue gets lost.  The most recent defector said what I predicted a while ago

I stood for you and I blogged for you but when I see that “baking” cookies and fighting other website is the only thing left here, then I must part too. Good luck. I will once and awhile see how you are doing and hope the best for you, son.

And that’s all it is.  Bickering and lawsuits that make him and his “donators” money.  It’s a ponzi scheme, pure and simple – give me $25 and I’ll magically turn it into $75…after I win my lawsuit.  Could he really be bilking old folks?  It’s audacious and retarded all at the same time.

papatard, I know you’re reading this so I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  You’ve called me the boss of the Mitch gang.  I’m not really.  I did have my own plan, though.  I might have told people about it but, honestly, I don’t remember.  I’m probably not the only one that came up with it.  But, I’m going to tell you because you’re in your death throes.  Before I do, though, I want you to remember that you’ve almost always followed my advice.  I’ve been more right than wrong.  That said, I now give to you my master plan –

Keep you talking

Simple as that.  You can’t shut up.  The more you talk, the more you make mistakes.    The more mistakes you make, the more fucked you get.  At some point, and that point is rapidly approaching, your mistakes catch up to you and your poorly constructed house of cards comes a-tumbling down.  Had you kept your mouth shut – had you stayed on topic – had you produced any substantial evidence you would, as my YouTube video said, be eating lobster and gobbling oxycontin with Rush Limbaugh and Obama would be politically dead instead of talking to an audience of 75,000.  You, papatard, would have been personally responsible for insuring a black man would not be president for 100 years.  You would have been in history books and, yes, maybe attained the martydom you crave at the hands of an assassin.

But you couldn’t shut up.  You dug yourself deeper.  And I don’t believe you actually blew Obama with or without drugs.  There is no fat lady.  There is no singing.  There is only a chorus of larrytards in an echo chamber.  Frankly, I’m not even sure it was about money.  I think you’re just a sad, lonely man who got tired of being branded a loser.

That hasn’t changed nor will it.