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In Which I’m Busy But I Have Post This

February 9th, 2010 No comments

I am SO digging the American Family Association‘s American Family Radio podcast. It’s so chock full xtian hilarity, I may just not recover!

On the lame Focus on the Family Tebow Superbowl ad, they try so hard not to offend Dobson that they can barely talk.  They declare victory by trotting out an editorial from a  “liberal” columnist who claims that the global warming debate is over.  And since the global warming debate is dead, then cap and trade is dead. They repeatedly refer the the editorial as an “article”. Oh.  Yeah.  And she’s Canadian! Since when did wingnuts start caring about what the rest of the world says?  DOH! When they agree with the wingnuts! I forgot that xtians heart moral relativism. Color me embarrassed!

But it gets better! A bill called The Student Non-Discrimination Act got introduced on 1/27/10 that basically says don’t beat up LGBT kids. OR DOES IT??? Well, if you factor in the boy in Fulton, MS that got sent home from school for crossdressing then it all makes sense: if The Student Non-Discrimination Act gets passed it means that KINDERGARTEN BOYS WILL COME TO SCHOOL DRESSED AS GIRLS AND PERFORM HOMOSEXUAL ACTS IN THE CLASSROOM!!! I swear that they will!! How do you even make this shit up? It requires leaps of logic that are…well…biblical. (Me so FUNEE!)

Last but not least comes the best radio ad I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s for a company called Medi-Share (which in the ad sounds like “meta-share” making it harder to find – nice job, copywriters). Medi-Share is “where Christians share each other’s medical expenses much like the early church did 2000yrs ago.” Whoa! Jesus had an HMO? (“Yeaaaaah, I’m sorry, Jesus, but those nail wounds aren’t covered. You can pay out of pocket for them to get sutured or you can let ’em heal on their own.”) But, like a competently written comedy, you save the punchline for the end.  Really. It’s only a minute long. Listen to the whole thing. You won’t be disappointed!

Medi-Share Radio Ad

gtg, as the kids say!

In Which PFOX Doesn’t Get To Bitch About It

October 6th, 2009 No comments

Whoa.

“Books about leaving homosexuality are censored in most high school libraries, although gay affirming books for youth are readily available,” said Griggs. “For example, Charlie Makela, supervisor of library services for Arlington County, Virginia public schools, rejected PFOX’s donation of ex-gay books although she accepts books from gay groups. Ms. Makela is also the chair of the ALA’s Supervisors’ Section of the American Association of School Librarians. Shouldn’t the ALA enforce its own diversity policy?”

Maybe I haven’t had enough coffee, but this is making my head hurt.

If I’m understanding this correctly, a group that would burn books about gays is petitioning their enemies to include books about NOT being gay in their censored book list because…it’s fair?  Isn’t that kind of like the Klu Klux Klan petitioning the NAACP to include The Turner Diaries or the 88 Precepts in its library?

Really?

In theory, sure, a banned book is a banned book is a banned book.  Free speech is free speech and books espousing racial hatred (like it or not) deserve just as much shelf space as book espousing homosexuality or french cooking or any of the bullshit that Ayn Rand vomited onto the page.  You need to know your enemy and that doesn’t happen by listening/reading to a synopsis written by someone else.  That’s how the “death panels” meme came about.   Rather, it happens by reading the miserably written The Turner Diaries or radical black sites or Al Qaeda or Army of God whatever.

HOWEVER – if you dedicate your life to demonizing and discriminating against gays then (and listen closely) you don’t get to bitch about imbalance and unfairness.

Because that’s your status quo.

Categories: Christians, Gay/Not Gay Tags:

In Which I Post Someone Else’s Letter

March 31st, 2009 No comments

[Note – Newton Wilcox on the Board of Directors of www.shelleytherepublican.com, which is to say he’s a fucking nutcase.  This letter was leaked to me anonymously and is posted without comment.]

Dear Mr. Justice Scalia

It goes without saying that God is the judge of us all, but until Jesus returns to earth to judge the naked and the dead (and if they’re naked it’s pretty much assured that they’re going to Hell) then you, and NOT Barney Frank, are the right man for the job. How dare he call you a homophobe!? This “politically correct” term is used simply to demonize those who hate gay people. I hate broccoli. Does that make me a broccoli-phobe? According to Mr. Barney Frank, I guess that it does. I guess you’d better just ship me off to Barack HUSSIEN Obama’s food re-education camps that he’s setting up even as we speak. What kind of country has America become when you are forced to not only eat but to enjoy hummus? I guess you can call it “change” but I, for one, do not believe in it.

You well know, sir, that God founded America to spread democracy and the English language throughout the rest of the world. If this isn’t true, then why was the Bible written in English?! (And, parenthetically, thanks to President Bush Iraquis are now beginning to put u’s after q’s the way they’re supposed to. Mission accomplished!) As you said so eloquently in your dissent against the decision to let Texas become an openly homosexual state, the “agenda promoted by some homosexual activists [is] directed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally attached to homosexual conduct.” If I was a smarter man, I’d understand all of those words but it seems pretty clear that you understand that the homosexual agenda wants nothing more than to make all heterosexuals get divorced and force them to “marry” someone of their own sex. We know this to be true because Dr. Dobson and the Rev. Ted Haggard have told us so.

What’s less known, and the reason for this letter, is that all of this is being driven by the powerful Unitarian Universalist lobby in Congress. How do we know this? All you have to do is follow the money. Who stands to gain from homosexual marriage and the destruction of the moral fabric of our society? Unitarians, that’s who. Besides Satanists, Unitarians are the only other “religion” that performs “same-sex” ceremonies. Thus, the Unitarians stand to gain untold riches from fulfilling Satan’s plan of turning America from a once proud and powerful capitalistic country bursting with nuclear weapon capabilities into a filthy, third world hippie commune overseen by Charles Manson. Was Jesus killed by the Jews for this? I think not.

I’d like to personally thank you for standing up for the American values of traditional marriage and Christianity as laid out in the Constitution of this great country of ours. I’d also like to thank you for helping Justice Thomas get comfortable with a job that seemed to be pretty much over his head. Fortunately, you’ve told him how to vote and everything has worked out for the best.

In closing, let me just say that you are my favorite Supreme Court Justice even though you’re a Catholic and you can look forward to my vote in 2012 to keep you on the court!

Yours in Christ,

Newton Wilcox
Board of Directors
www.Shelleytherepublican.com

In Which Some Letters Are Better Than Other

December 27th, 2008 2 comments

Ok.

Sorry about  this, but here goes – When you get to the point where you have to write it “LGBT/GLBT” then you need to move to a deserted island by your self where no one will EVER make you sad ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever again.

Seriously – when does it fucking stop?  When do you stop labeling?  When do you just flip a coin, stick with the decision and stop changing what you call some thing/one just because some little asshole got bent out of shape because S/HE calls them eyeWHISKERS instead of eyeLASHES because “lashes” implies a pro-slavery/pro-capital punishment imagery.  (AND THEN, of course, some BDSM lobby cries foul because they are, ONCE AGAIN, being oppressed and their lifestyle choice denigrated.)

From Negro to colored to black to African American back to black…where next?  Seriously – where next?

Yes, yes, I understand how, as a white man I’m not allowed to comment on race/creed/color stuff because I cannot possibly understand what oppression means…outside of the 6 years I spent being called faggot, homo, queer etc in pre-college.  I’m not approaching this as a white man’s burden kind of thing.  I’m approaching this as people relating to people.  I’m looking at this from a practical standpoint.

If you want to invite me to your non-straight/non-white dance – wonderful.  I’d love to go but, frankly, I’m not sure I want to because I’m afraid that I’m going to make some kind of slip-up like saying “African American” when I should say “black” or LGBT when I should say GLBT.  I’ve gotten screwed by this before.  “Even thought everybody else here says it, you’re not allowed to say ‘faggot’ or ‘nigger’ because your honorary membership is not valid in this specific clique”.

Oh.  Do please forgive me.  How about if I just call you a fucking asshole instead for 1) needing to label yourself as different from me so you can 2) despise me for being different from you.

I’m not saying I’m perfect.  Yes, there are times I slip back into the patterns and prejudices taught to me by my parents.  I’m doing my best to not pass those on to my children.  To (as I’m led to believe) teach them that we are all equal.

What I’m saying is to stop insisting on equality by inventing new labels.

LGBT/GLBT?  How about “Paul”?  Or “Jane”?  Or “Chet”? Or “Kiwmabechocula”?

How about we toss out the labels?  Or does that make an anti-labelist?

In Which I Leave A Comment For Larry And A Present For You

March 7th, 2008 No comments

Larry Sinclair, the gift that keeps on giving, posted his current plans which include suing everyone who says bad things about him but NOT bringing forth a witness to back up his claims.  It should also be noted that he’s set up a “legal defense fund” on PayPal even though he’s not a defendant in any lawsuit that I know of.

If you haven’t seen it, go out and rent House of Games.  It’s about a psychiatrist that falls in with a conman.  There’s a great scene in a Western Union Office where the wonderful Joe Montegna shows the wooden and horrible Lindsay (because Mamet has to cast the woman he’s currently fucking, I guess) how a simple con works.  The key, Montegna tells her, is trust.  A true conman never asks money.  Instead, he sets up the situation so that the mark himself comes up with the idea of giving the conman money and proceeds to do so.  This was the first thought that entered my head when Larry very reluctantly and ONLY at the urging of others put up a PayPal link.  Am I implying that Larry is a conman?  No, of course not.  Because, unlike Larry, I’m not about to make charges that I can’t prove.  I’m simply looking at verifiable facts.

The following is a comment (that might as well be a separate post) that I left on Larry’s amusing little blog.  I know I promised some fun info last night about it, but I’m going to let that ferment for a few more days.  Anywho – rather than make the claim that Larry will kill the comment rather than post it and then have egg on my face when it shows up, I’ll post it as a backup.

HOO!

In addition we (counsel and I) have been extremely busy in documenting the numerous Internet posts which were completely false and were posted for the sole purpose of trying to slander and libel me, and to keep the attention off of the real issue, Barack Obama’s drug use.

Slander and libel! That’s just wonderful, Larry!

Let me make this point AGAIN because you just can’t seem to wrap your little brain around this –

It’s NOT that you made your charges against Obama – IT’S THAT YOU WON’T PROVE THEM. And until you prove them, those your charges are slanderous and libelous.

So the FIRST question a judge should ask, should they not laugh your slander and libel case out of court (as they did with the Federal lawsuit) will sound something like:

Judge: Mr. Sinclair, you allege that the defendant slandered you by calling you a liar. Is that correct?
You: Yes, your honor
Judge: And why did the defendant call you a liar.
You: Because he doesn’t believe that I did drugs with and blew Sen. Barack Obama.
Judge: And did you do drugs with and blow Barack Obama?
You: Yes, your honor.
Judge: If you will present evidence that you did, we’ll lock the defendant up this very moment.
You: Ummmmm…I have a points statement that I was in a hotel outside of Chicago.
Judge: Hm. That’s a start. But what I’m looking for, sir, is someone that can corroborate your claim.
You: I’m waiting for a statement from Cititbank that –
Judge: Was Citibank in the limo with you and Senator Obama?
You: Ummmmm….
Judge: So, you CAN’T actually prove that you blew Barack Obama. So the defendant’s statement is true – you’re a liar.
You: Yes, I can.
Judge: Then, please do.
You: (standing up proud and strong, spoken with conviction) I, Larry Sinclair, do solemnly swear that I blew Barack Obama and that he smoked crack in my presence in front of me.
Judge: And…? What else?
You: Umm…
Judge: Case dismissed. Next up?
Bailiff: Ron Paul who is suing the US Gov’t because 9/11 was an inside job.

I strenuously disagree with those that make threats against you and those that harass you via phone. That is rude. However, it needs to be said that if you publish your phone numbers and address on the web, then you get what you get.

You should NOT be physically threatened or suffer death threats against you. Nobody should. They should simply stick to mocking and ridiculing you for not backing up your charges.

Your charges are lies. If they weren’t you would not be wasting other people’s money suing people – you would be standing in a court of law facing Sen. Obama who then AND ONLY THEN would have to answer to your charges.

I’m assuming this won’t get published. If it does, then perhaps you do have a shred of honor and morality left in you. Either way, I’m publishing this comment on my own blog.

(Note – I saw on one of your YouTube comments that you’re disgusted with people riding the crest of your infamy…much like you ride the popularity of Obama, I suppose)

In Which Larry Sinclair Was…Lying?

February 24th, 2008 5 comments

Wow.  My faith in humanity is shattered.  Broken.  Busted.  Lying in a smoldering heap at my feet dampened by my bitter tears of disillusionment.  Put another way – I’m really fucking sad.

I hereby pledge to everyone who reads this blog that next time I’m not going to be taken in.  The next time a criminal who spent time in jail for credit card fraud and admits to trafficking in drugs and people accuses a sitting US Senator and presidential candidate of drug use and gay sex, I’m going to side with the Senator.  I know I’ve said that before, but this time I really, really, really mean it.  PINKIE SWEAR!

Larry Sinclair, I’m afraid, led us ALL down the garden path to Hell.

It’s not JUST the Globe article that trashed his credibility,  (Not the Boston Globe…The Globe Magazine…no, not the Boston Globe Magazine – THE GLOBE MAGAZINE…the one at the checkout counter…yes, that one), but that goes a long, long way.  I mean, think about it.  If  a tabloid that believes Bigfoot exists won’t believe Larry Sinclair then you’re talking a fairly insurmountable image problem.  I can’t accurately categorize the socio-economic bracket to which most of Sinclair’s followers belong but I can’t help but posit that many of them buy the The Globe and, perhaps, even have subscriptions. 

Whitehouse.com released the preliminary results of his polygraph today and it came back with “deception indicated”.  Polygraphs aren’t admissible in a court of law.  In fact, they may simply not work.  G. Gordon Liddy, I believe, can beat it at will.  Also, if you’re dealing with a truly mentally ill person then they honestly believe that they, say, blew Barack Obama in a limo outside an “upscale” club.  Sadly, the Larry-Trash didn’t think about this before they began screaming about how the polygraph would clear Larry’s name.  It didn’t.  Game over.  Shut the fuck up and go back to your trailers, m’k.

The question that remains is – why did people who should theoretically hate gays and criminals believe a gay criminal over an accomplished black man?

In Which Internet Kismet Brings Joy

March 7th, 2007 1 comment

its_not_gay_detail.jpg

www.onenewsnow.com, besides having a name that’s hard to parse, is one of the many Christian news aggregators that feature such stories as a Pennsylvania judge’s decision to make a pedophile read a Christian book about temptation as part of his sentence.  I’m sure that’s gonna work out nicely for all concerned.

Through the magic of rotating ads, the trailer for Facing the Giants and the you-don’t-have-to-be-gay DVD, It’s Not Gay appear in amusing juxtaposition to one another.  The straight movie, naturally, is on top.

Categories: Culture, Gay/Not Gay, Religion Tags: