Hbee Inc.

The funny thing about Crosstalk is that you can spend 5000 words writing about it and still not do as good a job exposing them as hypocrites as they do themselves.

Matt Barber of oddly name Liberty Council came on the show NOT to bash gay people but to show how much xtians love them.  He did so by condemning gay people as violent, spittle spewing sinners possessed by demons.

Spittle Spewing Homos

The love continued with examples of how violent gay people stormed a church and…didn’t really hurt anybody.  Except the kids.  Who had to look at gay people.  And, I guess, all the closeted gays and lesbians mooning over the HOTT gay activists.

Violent Homos…That Don’t Hit People

And in the coup d’ grace (pretty gay phrase, huh?), Barber slits his own throat by blatantly laying all of his cards on the table.

HAHAHA!

Early in the program, my youngest daughter, sitting in bed, playing games on my iPod and listening, asked me, “how can you listen to this stuff??” By the last clip she was howling with laughter and derision.  Just as she should.

Never say I’m not a good dad! *laffin*

Hbee Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians Blatant Assholes, CrossTalk, Religion, Ridicule, VCY America, Vic Eliason, xtians

First off, I have no idea if they do or not.  I can’t see into their souls or know what they do when no one is looking.  And if it’s true, I’m sure they wouldn’t want anyone to see the kind of shocking immorality personified by having forced sex with little tiny dogs.  One wonders how you would go about such a thing.  Would you have to tie them down?  Would you drug them first so they were docile?  I really can’t answer these questions.  No can know for certain if the founder of World Net Daily and the on-air staff of Crosstalk America, a Christian radio talk show, engage in the kind of acts that Jesus would most certainly frown on.  But no one can rule it out, either.

Can they?

After all, the halls of Christian broadcasting lie littered with the remains of the fallen – Baker, Swaggart, Haggard – you know who they are.  Circumstantial evidence would suggest that if you make your living broadcasting your love of Jesus that there’s a high probability that you hide some deep, filthy secret that at some point in time will come out.

To be clear – I’m not accusing them of sadistically and brutally violating cute, fluffy, innocent, cuddly puppy dogs for base, sick, sexual gratification.  I said up front – I don’t know if they do.

Still, I call upon them to devote a segment of Crosstalk America to address these possibly damaging allegations – to give them to proper airing and vetting that they demand of…say…the President of the United States.

You see, Crosstalk isn’t actually a Christian radio show.  I used to give them benefit of the doubt.  No longer.  They morphed into a political extremist group singularly focused on overthrowing the American government and replacing it with a theocracy similar to that of Iran.

When you allow so-called “journalist” Joseph Farrah to spout the most irresponsible lies and half truths about the President of the United States, you have left the realm of humanity.  And, as Crosstalk will tell you, once your morals go, anything is possible – even puppy fucking.

Here are few of the myriad pieces of filth that Farrah spews

• There’s evidence that Obama’s grandmother is his mother
• Obama may not actually know his true relationship to his family
• Obama probably did not write either of his books
• Maybe it’s a co-incidence that Hillary Clinton “who’s in succession for the Presidency” just happened to travel to Kenya
• Farrah will not trust the Director Of Public Health’s confirmation of Obama birth certificate – he needs to see it himself
• Every Kenyan believes that Obama was born there and that should be proof enough that he was

I’m trying think of another time in which a political figure was accused of not being the mother of her baby and people condemned the rumor as baseless and proof of how low the political process had sunk.

Oh yeah.  Sarah Palin. To even suggest impropriety in that case got the torches of the religious right burning and the nooses looped.  Of course, it wasn’t up them to prove that it wasn’t true.  The accusers had to prove it was true.  Sarah was too demure to get her feet dirty answering such spurious charges.

So, Crosstalk Staff, where the hell do you come off insisting that the President of the United States respond to shit that you fling at him?  Really – is this the biblical way to act?  Does Jesus condone the kinds of lies and whispering that you give voice to?  Is your faith in God so weak that you will not trust in God’s plan for us? Do you honestly believ that it is incumbent on YOU to bring down a democratically elected official?  Do  you hate America that much?

Once more, I have no proof whatsoever that Farrah and the staff of Crosstalk are anything other than garden variety hypocrites whose zeal causes them to forget the teachings of the God they profess to believe in.  Apparently, though, you don’t need proof to make conditional statements – “they may,”they might”, “it’s possible”, “evidence leads me to believe that”, “it’s within the realm of possiblity.”

Thus, I call on Joseph Farrah, Jim Schneider, Vic Eliason, Brannon Howse and Ingrid Slueter to take to the airwaves and spend the hour assuring me, personally, that, despite baseless claims to the contrary, they do not rape puppies.  Furthermore, they need to take calls from the listeners – I’m sure they’ll have some questions.

Note: I have never understood those who said they felt physically sick listening to something.  I know do.  I literally almost threw up listening to this show.

Hbee Analogies, Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, CrossTalk, Ridicule, Sarah Palin, VCY America, Vic Eliason, Vomiting in My Mouth

Just a little background – The Family Research Council is the political arm of Dobson’s Focus on the Family comedy club that Tony Perkins (not the dead, gay actor) runs.  Tony (not the dead, gay actor) puts out the Washington Watch Weekly podcast which tells the base who to hate and how much to hate them.  Thanks to the podcast I now know that abortion discriminates on the basis of “age, size and place of residence”.  I wish I was kidding.

Like most xtians, Tony doesn’t care about the truth and doesn’t expect his guests to, either.  They’re free to spout whatever egregious lies pop into their head as long as it advances their agenda.  In fact, at the end of the last weeks podcast, John Sununu, former governor of New Hampshire, railed against the legislature for legalizing gay marriage.  He darkly told the base that homos and liberals (and, please, sit down for this) used money to help candidates sympathetic to gay causes get elected!  Didn’t I tell you to sit down?  Yes, they used the American political process to advance their agenda which is just about the sleaziest thing a person could possibly do.  I’d feel badly but I’m too busy thinking about the Muslim kitties I’m going to have sex with after I finish this.

Todd Tiahrt (pronounced tee-hart and thank you Google for understanding what I meant when I searched for him) gave a bravura performance demonizing national healthcare by either 1) not listening to his wife during the passing of Natasha Richardson or 2) outright lying.  Let’s let Todd tell us a very scary story about how the Canadian healthcare system killed her.

A Very Scary Story

Now let’s hear what really happened.

On 16 March 2009, Richardson sustained a head injury, when she fell while taking a skiing lesson at the Mont Tremblant Resort in Quebec, Canada about an hour and a half from Montreal. The injury was followed by a lucid interval, when Richardson seemed to be fine and was able to talk and act appropriately. Paramedics and an ambulance which initially responded to the accident were told they were not needed and left.Refusing medical attention, she returned to her hotel room and about three hours later was taken to a local hospital after complaining of a headache. She was transferred from there by ambulance to the Hôpital du Sacré-Cœur de Montréal in critical condition and was admitted about seven hours after the fall. The following day she was flown to Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, where she died on 18 March.

Tiahrt wants you to beileve that the evil Canadians refused her healthcare.  Except that she initially refused treatment and she wasn’t Canadian so blaming the Canadian healthcare system is (and there’s really no other phrase for it) fucking retarded.

But, wait, Todd’s not done.

Not only does the Canadian system suck but the Mexican system sucks, too, because it “hasn’t been able to cope with this swine flu”.

Another Evil Story

WHUH?

Let’s think of the swine flu as ants in your house.  You see a bunch of ants nibbling away at (in my case) the mound of cedar wood cat litter that gets scratched out of the box and onto the floor.  So you grab a broom, sweep the litter and ants into a dust pan and dump the contents into a plastic bag.  You knot the plastic bag, sealing the ants inside, and then throw it in the garbage.  It’s called “containment”.  Thus, the number of ants are significantly reduced.  If you just left them to their own devices you’d soon have a house full of ants.

Given that the swine flu was projected to kill every living thing on the planet and that Mexico pretty much locked everything down, killing of tourism for a week or so, I think the Mexican healthcare system did a pretty goddamn good job of dealing with swine flu.

It’s also interesting to note that Todd stresses that healthcare is 15% of our economy.  So it seems pretty clear that Todd doesn’t care as much about who gets help as he does about who’s going to finance his re-election campaign.  So that he can continue to advance his agenda.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Christians, News, Obama, Political Whatever, Republicana, Ridicule, Vomiting in My Mouth, Wingnuts

Remember before the election I was saying some non-mean things about Faux Noise?  Hoo!  Dunno what I was thinking or even if I was thinking.  Anywho…

When I was 19-ish, I moved back home (and this was before it was trendy).  I’d done a year of college in a theater program and gotten an offer to keep on with the children’s theater I’d worked with over the summer.  The theater was in the town my parents lived in.  Serendipity!  Even more so, my mom had moved out temporarily leaving my dad to fend for himself.  So if I wasn’t exactly welcome, I was useful.  For a while, at least.

Then there came the day where I got the ultimatum or the GTFOOMH speech.  He yelled.  I yelled.  Conditions and counter-conditions flew.  I couldn’t put up with him.  He couldn’t put up with me.  I still kinda needed his money, though, and he hated grocery shopping and doing the dishes.  In the end, he gave me a month to get out.  I got out in two weeks.  I’d lost that symbiotic feeling.

The moral?  Where there’s a will there’s a way and no matter how broke you are, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

I buckled down, stopped drinking my money away (for a little while) and made it work.  It wasn’t that hard.

So, now we have AIG that wants to leach off the taxpayers much like I leeched off my dad.  And they’re all pissy because we asking them to be in by midnight, make sure the car is gassed up and not piss away millions of dollars on retention bonuses for the people the fucked up the company and then left rich.  But they still want our money.  Even though other sections of the company are doing fine.

And along comes Chris “I’ll Have The Reagan Black Hair Dye” Wallace who, despite theorectically understanding capitalism, still thinks like a socialist.  Or a really bad parent.

Listen to Chris Wallace:  Suuuuper Genius

Chris – listen up:  No private company has to take money from the government.  Ever.  If it does, though, it is beholden to the government and therefore the people, because it took our money.  Corporatons should NOT get free, no-strings-attached money to do with what they wish.  That’s called “welfare”, Chris.  And as you and the rest of Fucked News love to point out – it’s a dis-incentive.  Give corporations free money with no responsibility and the next thing you know, AIG will be hanging out on streets corners, getting girls pregnant and then leaving them without a father.

Chris – you should know better than that.  No company needs to “do business” with the US Government.  For you to suggest they would want to suggests that you don’t even understand the whole conservative “small government” thing.  Let me explain – if you screw up you shouldn’t look to the government bail you out.  That’s not what the government is for.  You can’t disparage Obama for running up a deficit bailout loser companies and then complain that said losers have to do something stupid like follow rules.  M’kay?

Chris – put the football helmet on and apologize to your dad.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, News, Obama, Political Whatever, Ridicule, Wingnuts Blatant Assholes, News, Obama, Political Whatever, Ridicule, Wingnuts

Isn’t blogging lovely?  If I felt like it, I could post the word “ocelot” everyday until my hosting company went out of business!  Yesterday, someone said they started a new blog but couldn’t think of anything to write.  Normally, that’s not a problem for me.  It’s not the subjects I have trouble with, it’s the time and space to actually get them down.

David Frum, writing at the New Majority, has a heartwarming piece that, if he were a liberal, would be called Fuck Rush.  He finishes off, thusly

But do the rest of us understand what we are doing to ourselves by accepting this leadership? Rush is to the Republicanism of the 2000s what Jesse Jackson was to the Democratic party in the 1980s. He plays an important role in our coalition, and of course he and his supporters have to be treated with respect. But he cannot be allowed to be the public face of the enterprise – and we have to find ways of assuring the public that he is just one Republican voice among many, and very far from the most important.

Amen!

Plenty of the commenters agree with him.  Plenty of the commenters effectively call him, as Rush would, a faggot.  I’ll probably be called a faggot, too, for leaving the following comment -

The fact is that Rush does nothing. Nor does Medved. Nor does Randi Rhodes. Nor do ANY talk show host. If you want to hold up Limbaugh as the savior of the right then elect him president. If you believe he’s right on every issue and that only he can save America then it is your duty as an America to do so. Not to take this action proves that you hate your country…or you don’t have the courage of your convictions. It’s a simple as that. If Limbaugh refuses to run then he is a coward. If he refuses to run then he is admitting that he is, for lack of a better phrase, “all talk and no action”. That goes for all talk show hosts. It’s the easiest thing in the world to make up insults like “Hitlery” and “Feminazi”. You cannot govern with those words, though. Governing takes intellect and tact. Limbaugh has none of those. Instead, he is the middle school football dad kicking the crap out of a referee because he knows more than the ref but is too unstable and lazy to do the job himself. You may hate Al Franken but he had the guts to get out from behind the mike and put his words (faith?) into action. Limbaugh can’t and won’t. In the real world, you can’t scream insults into the face of world leader and expect to get your way. It’s time to put away childish things and one of those things is Limbaugh.

How does Limbaugh do when he has to physically face his opposition?  Horribly.  That’s why he’s on teh radio where he can keep his little bubble in tact and not have to witness the destruction he causes first hand.  That’s why he’ll never run for office – because once you physically see him and he can see you, he turns into the chubby third grader that got his ass kicked over and over again for mouthing off.

Enjoy the sight of ordinary Americans verbally kicking the shit out of Limbaugh.  I did.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Flame, Liberal Faggot, Media, Republicana, Ridicule, Talk Radio, Vomiting in My Mouth

Take look at this title -

Canada – Evil Empire Or Third World Country

Notice anything odd about it.  Is Canada evil?  Is it part of the Third World?

If you have not spent the better part of a decade or four in a vat of lysergic acid you’ll probably answer “no” to both of these questions in which case you’re left with two viable options.

1) The person that came up with the title could well win the “Most Fucked Up Person On Earth” title

2) It’s a joke.

A piece of advice – when faced with that kind of choice – go for the joke.

When you watch a video criticizing Canada for having a corn and maple syup based economy and how there are corn fields 1/2 a mile outside of major metropolitan cities – it’s a joke.

When you read something along the lines of “Calling people a buncha names isn’t a substitute for a debate, you stupid retard loser,” it’s a joke.

When you…well, I could go on for days and days.  The moral of the story is that censorship is completely random.  I’ve been part of campaigns to get videos taken down from YouTube and NOTHING has been done despite so-called “community standards” rules.  I guess baseless accusations are only allowed on YouTube if you’re serious about them.  If you’re joking, they’ll get trashed.

How many complaints does it take to get a video removed?  Beast me.  They won’t say.  It could be one complaint, it could thousands.  What’s almost funny is what they tell you when, after fifteen minutes of digging, you find the complaint form.  This is it:

We are unable to provide specific detail regarding your account suspension or your video’s removal. For more information on our what we consider inappropriate content or conduct while using YouTube, please visit our Community Guidelines and Tips at http://www.youtube.com/t/community_guidelines and our Help Center article at http://help.youtube.com/support/youtube/bin/answer.py?answer=92486.

Translation – Why did we take it down?  You’ll have to guess because, frankly, we’ve got better things to do than bother with customers.

I’m both pissed and pleased, though.  Pissed because out of the 73 BBN videos on YouTube, one of the LEAST offensive got pulled.  And pleased because out of the 73 BBN videos on YouTube, one of the LEAST offensive got pulled.

I don’t get it, sometimes

Check out the original video on Facebook.

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Culture, Grumpy Old Man, Navel (Gazing At), Poor Stupid White People, Ridicule Blatant Assholes, Culture, Grumpy Old Man, Navel (Gazing At), Poor Stupid White People, Ridicule

Ok.  It should be known that I do a lot of trolling meaning that I like stirring shit up.  There are a lot of ways to do it but the easiest way is through comments on the target’s blog.  The hardest is an out and out troll blog and, yes, I have a couple of them.  One of which got linked to as an authoritative source for information on papatard.  THAT was a score of epic proportions and thank you sooo much to the anonymous asshole in Chicago that linked to it.

You’d think that trolls should be able to spot other trolls at the drop of a hat.  It’s not so.  At heart, most trolls do it to advance their political and/or social agenda.  Unless their just psychopaths.  Thus, I’ve fallen for troll sites hook line and sinker.  One of the “whitey” videos I found particularly horrendous, turned out to be a joke.  I wrote back to the guy and congratulated him.  It’s only right.

Thus, as you wend your way through tardville (which encompasses the larrytad sites as well as papatard’s web-lie) you start to ask yourself, could all of this be one big elablorate joke?  Could this be the prank of all pranks?  Can people actually be this blindly stupid to believe this textbook case of the ultimate loser?  And just when you’ve convinced yourself that it’s a joke, you remind yourself that almost nobody can fake a prison record or an arrest warrant and the next thing you know your curled up under the covers in your bed in fetal position, rocking slowly back and forth, wondering if America can survive until at least your great-grandkids are dead.

But just in the depths of your despair, the universe gives you another gift that makes the whole thing absolutely fucking hysterical, so THANK YOU, CITIZEN WELLS!

A brief recap – papatard had his press conference at the end of which he was arrested on an outstanding warrant in Delaware.  He spent a couple of days in…well…let’s call it a hotel that the larrytards didn’t have to pay for.  Apparetnly, the…um…hotel staff didn’t get the message that papatard is in constant chronic pain and frequently can feel certain parts of his body, whatever sounds most pathetic in the moment.  (papatard, as you remember, can’t eat because of an ulcer and, instead, claims he drinks 36 pepsis a day “to keep his weight up”.)

Anywho, he finally got sprung and I’m too lazy to find out how much it set the larrytards back if, in fact, they had to pay for it.  He’s currently stay with “a host” who I pray to GOD has a Sam’s club membership because 36 Pepsis a day runs into a nice chunk of change and papatard’s broke because his Social Security benefits got cut off for BEING A FUCKING CRIMINAL.  Ooops.  Sorry about that.

To continue – we all know that the entire world is against papatard’s valiant struggle to someday present the evidence that he blew Obama while blah blah blah.  HOWEVER – Citizen Wells recently discovered the chink in the armor of papatard’s persecutors – SEN. JOSEPH BIDEN!  You heard that right.  Biden is the key to the whole thing because Biden’s SON is the Attorney General of Delaware and TWO DAYS before papatard’s press conference, guess who submitted legislation to “encourage States to enter new and outstanding felony warrants into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database”?

SEN. JOSEPH BIDEN!!

Game!  Set!  Match!

Oh.

Wait.

That’s really stupid.

Why the FUCK would a US Senator 1) even know about papatard and 2) care enough about him to push forward a bill that would have no effect on papatard’s press conference?  He introduced the bill.  No one voted on it.  Is Citizen Wells suggesting that the federal government tried to push through legislation in two days simply to arrest some three-time loser after his press conference?

Why, yes, he is!

Is that not one of the funniest things you’ve ever seen in your whole life?

Why, yes, it is!

Seriously, I’m glad that no one was home when I read Well’s blog.  I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the cops.

OH SHIT!  I almost forgot the punchline!  Not content with acting like a papatard wannabe, accusing Senators of malfeasance, Wells ends this post with what could be called “The papatard Credo”

Senator Biden, are you, your son, the Attorney General Of Delaware, or any member of your staff, responsible for any of these attacks and smears on Larry Sinclair?

Senator Biden Or Attorney General Biden,  I suggest that you
investigate what has happened to Larry Sinclair and respond on
this blog or with a public statement. No response will be
considered an admission of guilt.

a-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  “No response will be considered an admission of guilt”!

Ok – how’s this then

Citizen Wells – Is it true that you rape puppies and then feed them to weevils?  Is it true that you are nothing but an opportunistic hack with absolutely no sense of morality whatsoever?  Is it true that you actively ignore the blatant lies that papatard has told in order to boost your own pathetic sense of self?

No response will be considered an admission of guilt!!!

Kisses!

UPDATE 7pm – Wells has not yet responded.  He is guilty.

UPDATE 7:30pm – Wells has not yet responded.  He is guiltier than he was a half hour ago.

UPDATE 2:00am – Wells has not yet responded.  I have been hoping that he would because I like to think the best of people.  But he looks more and more guilty.  My stomach is tied up in knots over this.

UPDATE 8:30am – Wells has not yet responded. You really have to ask yourself - why wouldn’t he clear his name?

Hbee 2008 Debacle, Blatant Assholes, Larry Sinclair, Political Whatever, Ridicule, Vomiting in My Mouth, larrytards

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to type that.  Really.  Excuse me while I do a little victory dance again

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.

.

.

Thanks.  Sorry about that.  But papatard is in jail and I’m thrilled.

Now, before you jump to any conclusions, he’s not in jail because of the Obama bullshit.  His incarceration is hopefully the beginning of the karmic comeuppance due to him.  It’s known that it’s for an outstanding warrant, probably from Delaware, although there’s still a Colorado warrant outstanding, as well.

What’s lovely is that he was arrested shortly after the press conference ended.  And I mean, shortly.  From the way I understand it, he left the build and, according to “moma”, was arrested by two “U.S. Marshalls”.  This means that barely had the notion of how badly the press conference went sunk into his Augustus Gloop head when John Q. Law swooped in and slapped the cuffs around his bologna-sized wrists.  I don’t care who you are – that’s some kinda harsh.  Not as harsh as what I’d hope for, though

Cops – Are you Lawrence Wayne Sinclair?
Papatard – I’m doing a press conference.
Cops – I asked you if you Lawrence Wayne Sinclair?
Papatard – Yes.
Cops – You’re under arrest.  Please come with us.
Papatard – SECURITY!  THROW THESE COPS OUT OF MY PRESS CONFERENCE!!
Cops – Jesus, you really are retarded, aren’t you.
Sibley – Now see here, you can’t just arrest my client on an outstanding warrant!
Cops – You’re Sibely?
Sibley – Montgomery Blair Sibley Esq!  Yes!
Cops – Nice kilt, asshole.  You’re under arrest, too for contempt of court.  Your license to practice lwa is suspended.
Manning – I HATE WHITEY MORE THAN JEREMIAH WRIGHT BUT NOBODY’LL PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!
Cops – Shut the fuck up. (to audience)  Press conference is over, folks.  Move along.

He was simply whisked away like…well, a common criminal.  No champagne.  No after party.  No all night orgy paid for with somebody else’s money.  Just a hopefully dank and depressing jail cell where papatard can have a horrible night’s sleep while he prays that, despite the definate possibility of flight risk, they’ll let him out on bail…paid for by somebody else’s money.

I haven’t had the chance to listen to the whole press conference yet.  I’ve been too busy tooling around in the Rolls Royce Drophead Coupe with the trunk stuffed to the bursting point with non-sequential hundred dollar bills that Axelrod personally dropped off at my house after the arrest. (He begged me to go on roadtrip to Montreal and I told him to give me the keys and then to go fuck himself…which he did).  I did, however, get to watch an excerpt of the video on YouTube and what I saw made me giggle.

What?  Me guilty?

Now, the kind among you might say that one screenshot doesn’t mean anything, so go ahead and watch the video.  Let’s check in with someone who was there – Seth Colter Walls from the Huffington Post

It is not often that a political reporter can claim to have witnessed the single most stupefying event on any single day, what with the diversity of inanity on display from coast to coast in an election year. But today, I feel confident laying claim to that dubious distinction, for I attended Larry Sinclair’s Wednesday press conference at the National Press Club.

Low praise, indeed.  Throughout the video, papatard seems ill at ease and combative.  He’d say that it’s because of the spinal damage he incurred that left him on permanent disability makes it difficult for him to stand.  But why did he stand, then?  Take away the podium and sit at the table!  Hell, FDR did it, right?  No, no.  Not papatard.  He wants the podium, the pulpit.  He wants to preach just like his hero, crazy fucked up Pastor Manning.  See, that’s what they do on the television.  They stand behind a podium.  So, in the David Lynch movie that plays without irony in his head, he stands.  Is it going too far to ponder if he had a hard-on during the entire thing?  We conjecture – you decide.

I’m sure there will be more PC talk later, but the money shot of the video (kudos to CNN!) comes around 6:50 when in a brilliant moment of actual truth telling, papatard says, (in response to the classic, “you’ve been a scumbag for most of your life, why should we believe” you question)

Well, to be honest with you, it’s not so much as to whether you believe me or not, as much as you hear me.

And that’s papatard in a nutshell.  It contains every single thing you need to know about this twisted, fucked up ex-con.  He doesn’t care about what anybody thinks.  He doesn’t care that people laugh at him and heap ridicule on him.  He only cares that you acknowledge his existance.  That he is alive.  And he doesn’t care what he has to do to make that happen.  He’ll lie, cheat, steal, bilk – it doesn’t matter.  It’s like he never stopped listening to Tommy: The Who.  I once wrote a sketch about some loser child who is so desparate for attention that he claims to be autistic – “HEY!  LOOK AT ME!  I’M AUTISTIC!  CAN’T YOU HEAR ME??  I’M TALKING TO YOU!”  Little did I know I was writing about papatard

papatard LOVES to talk about personal responsibility and how he (*cough* *hack* *wheeze*) has ALWAYS accepted it.  He talks about walking into a police station and turning himself in.  But it wasn’t, I believe, that he was accepting responsibility – he was making an enterance.  He talks about it as if he were some God of Morality showing the commoners how it’s done.  But, like most things, he downplays the fact that he first committed a fucking crime.  You don’t turn yourself into the cops for no reason.  You don’t get brownie points for doing the cops’ job for them.  Wanna take responsibility?  Don’t be a fucking criminal. Free advice, I know, but pretty good advice.

If he wasn’t an attention whore, then how could he, in good conscience, spend thousands of dollars of other people’s money and say…jack shit.  I’ve skimmed (not perused) through the press statement and it says nothing that hasn’t been said anywhere else.  More importantly, there is no evidence brought forward, no relevations made, no nothing.  It ends, as did his first abortive lwa suit against, of all things, the DNC to make them stop harrassing him, by insisting that Obama address the lies that papatard tells.  It’s truly an alternate universe he lives in where the accuser simply accuses and then goes home, because, I guess, that’s what accusers do – accuse.  He literally misses a major part of the concept of justice.  Perhaps it’s because all his life people have accused him and he’s been innocent every single time but just not able to disprove it.  Hence the accusations against him puts him away for another bid in the pokey simply because he could not prove them false.  So now it’s his turn to make an accusation and gloat about how Obama can’t disprove it.

Anywho -

His arrest changes absolutely nothing.  Literally.  We are where we were this morning only with papatard in jail.  The larrytards still support him, of course, and support him with more fervor.  Their leader has been wronged!  How dare he be called to question for some silly little crime he committed?  How DARE Mitch and Nan meddle in things that have no concern to them??  How DARE they try to get a criminal off the street??

No, papatard is a emotional fiscal vampire who will continue to suck money and souls out of the larrytards and, when they complain, cut them off brutally.  He’s already done it a couple of times.  papatard has created a cult – a true, unwavering cult – that lives and breathes only for the sweaty, sausage fingered touch of papatard.  As stated before, his suspended lawyer, Sibley, said that Jesus was persecuted, too.  And moma – my god – if you have any doubt as to why papatard is as fucked up as he is – taken a gander at this

I am so proud of him. The cesspool [The Mitch and Nan Show] can giggle all they want but they can never be as good a citizen as he is. Mistakes & all.

Proud?  Forgive me the judgment, but the day that I’m proud of my kid for being a career criminal that ran drugs, trafficked in humans, defrauded companies and people and tried to bring down a presidential candidate with a poorly constructed fairy tale, please take me out to the desert, tie me down and leave me to die slowly so I can think about how badly I failed as a parent.

Still, you celebrate the victories you have.

Stop by http://themitchandnanshow.wordpress.com and thank the crew for their hard work

Hbee Blatant Assholes, Larry Sinclair, Ridicule, Vomiting in My Mouth, larrytards

[Note - I'm am desperately going to try not to use the c-word.  It's warranted.  It's the precise word to use.  But I'm going to try my best to stay away from it.]

Let me say upfront that I don’t hate conservatitves.  When I argue with them, I do my best to be respectful and not pull a whole bunch of cheap rhetorical tricks.  However, there’s a certain breed of conservatitive that has such a loose grip on the facts that consversation is completely impossible almost to the point where after two minutes they’re screaming that I’m a freedom hating faggot that wants to fuck their son and clone Stalin.

Think I’m kidding?  I’m not.  Take a look at this c…..er…conservative name Lynn Thomas who goes by the name of Cao (pronounce it however you want).  Pick any post, it doesn’t really matter which.  The latest, as of this writing, is titled “shouldn’t we be allowed to have an opinion?”  Now, you’re thinking to yourself – what’s wrong with that?  We live in America, a country based on the free exchange of ideas.  It’s a right that many Americans lay down their lives for.  Not just soldiers, but civil rights workers, protesters, clergy and everyday people.  So the answer, obviously, is “yes, EVERYONE is allowed to an opinion.”  Or are we?  Cao continues -

And I think [thank?] God I still live in a country where we can agree to disagree and still remain friends.

That is – unless the people I’m disagreeing with – are marxist Obamanots. In that case, they’ll do their best to destroy people who disagree – because groupthink in their world, RULES, and you’re only allowed one opinion: theirs.

See what I mean?  By disagreeing with Cao you are attempting to destroy her because…your opinon doesn’t count.  Only hers does because it’s the correct opinon.  Calls of “why can’t we all get along” from the right (and left, sometimes) never mean that.   The paradox in the previous statement is stunning – “you are only allowed one opinion: theirs.”  Soooo…how many opinons does she allow when to disagree with her makes you a “marxist Obamanot”?  Answer – none.

These disingenuous pleas for “understanding” and “tolerance” fuel my hatred for extreme wingnuttery.  They are not stable people.  None of them.  I’ve spoken with on the radio and 90% of their arguments whither in the face of very simple logic.  Case in point (and forgive me for being sketchy on the details) – A couple of years ago in Georgia, a defendent grabbed the gun from a cop and shot his way out of a courtroom.  Pretty embarassing, right?  Of course – because the cop was a woman.  If it had been a guy, the defendent would have been overpowered by the big, manly cop and order would have been quickly restored.  I think it was Mike Gallagher that used that example to argue for a male-only police force.  EXCEPT that a year or so later the exact thing happened with a male cop.  I called him, got on the air and reminded him of his previous statement which he ignored and asked what size Birkenstock I wore.  I’m serious.  He wouldn’t even address the issue because he had no leg to stand on. If you’re going to call for the firing of all female cops due to a single incident then you should, in a morally pure world, call for the firing of all male cops for the same offense.

Wingnuts, though, don’t care about morality.  They don’t care about anyone except the Wingnut Club.  How does Rush Limbaugh condemn drug abusers only to turn around, admit he has a drug abuse problem and continue to be respected.  He conciously bought drugs illegally.  In a morally pure world, he should be crucified in the public square and held up to small children as a prime example of hypocrisy.  Instead, he got a raise and higher ratings.  Newt Gingrinch fucked around on his wife while condeming Bill Clinton for fucking around on his wife.  Newt is held up, not as a pariah, but as a scion of the “Conservative Values”.  Larry Craig?  He’s a faggot so put him up againt the wall and pull the trigger.  Wingnuts hate faggots because Jesus hates faggots.

BUT, if you’re a useful faggot and you behave yourself, then, you’re ok.  Take David Brock, for example.  Brock, before he started the liberal Media Matters, was a Republican attack dog.  Remember Anita Hill and “a little bit nutty, a little bit slutty”?  That was Brock.  Pretty much everything in The Real Anita Hill was a lie, he later said.

I want to make sure that this is understood clearly – David Brock was paid to lie about Anita Hill so Clarence Thomas could get on the Supreme Court.  The Republican Party knew about these lies.  This, I add with a admirable understatement, was NOT a moral action.

Brock wasn’t an out-out gay man but everyone knew.  Why, then, would the memebers of the party of family values, memebers of the party of God, the members of the party of “gay marriage will destroy America” pay David Brock$300,000/yr to write for the American Spectator?  Aren’t gay people the enemy?  Answer – they…don’t…care.  The ends, as Stalin knew, justify the means.

Fun Fact – Ann Coulter fag hagged Brock!  Isn’t that sweet?

Now, the wingnuts reading this will no doubt use the tried and true rhetorical flourish of “OH YEAH?  BARNEY FRANK’S BOYFRIEND RAN A PROSTITUION RING OUT OF THEIR APARTMENT!!!  HOW DARE YOU PREACH TO US ABOUT MORALS???”  This has the effect of not answering the question.  Rather, it’s hoped that by bringing up some Democratic scandal they somehow magically absolve themselves of their own.  It doesn’t actually work that way but let me address it briefly

You can only hate something if you hate something

Most democrats don’t hate gay people nor do they find homosexuality immoral.  Most democrats don’t hate drugs and don’t find drugs immoral.  Most democrats don’t have that big of a problem with prostitution.  So, the Barney Frank thing is no big deal…especially since he didn’t know it was going on AND reported it to the House Ethics committee when he found out.  I know that wingnuts love oversimplification so let me help you out – democrats are, by wingnut standards, immoral and so explicitly embrace immorality, therefore to judge us by your strict moral codes is comapring apples to oranges.

But here’s the thing – we acknowledge your theoretical code of conduct where as you, in your best imitation of Christ, piss on ours.  Lynn calls us, of all things, Marxist.  Really?  That’s odd, because in three out of the four gospels, Matthew, Mark and Luke, there is the almost identical story of Jesus (yeah, THAT Jesus) telling some rich guy, “If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.”  And, for special bonus points, what do you call the redistribution of wealth?

But it’s even better than that.

The only version of the Bible that most evangelicals recognize as the one that God wrote is the King James Bible.  There’s a great book (soon to be a VH1 Special) about the making of the King James Bible called In the Beginning: The Story of the King James Bible and How It Changed a Nation, a Language, and a Culture.  Turns out that at least a few pious folks murdered other pious folks to get this new version or the Word of God done.  And, oh, yeah, there’s compelling evidence that King James was at least bi-sexual.  Yes.  That’s right.  The book (or at least the most accepted version of the book) is the result of a sodomite.  If you can deal with the Marxist Word of God (TM) being finance by a bi-sexual, what’s the big deal with a gay negro crackhead for President?

And so, wingnuts turn to self-deception to ferret away all these nasty questions that threaten the vicious and closed-minded world they fester in and stave off some truths they’d rather not face.  If one-man/one-woman is so important, why isn’t their an eleventh commandment?  Why did God let polygamy flourish without retribution?  Isn’t interpreting “Thou Shalt Not Kill” as definitive proof of God’s stance on abortion akin to “activist judges interpreting the Constitution”?  How do you justify the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of innocent in the Middle East when the same commandment holds true?

Oh.

Wait.

That’s right.

They’re towelheads and will not rest until Allah reigns supreme over every surface of the world.  After all, didn’t Allah say, “He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. “  Wait, that was the GOOD GOD insisting that he reign supreme over every surface of the world.

And, of course, when you gotta kill the women and children for the glory of Allah, you gotta kill the women and children for the glory of Allah

32 Then Sihon came out against us, he and all his people, to fight at Jahaz.

33 And the LORD our God delivered him before us; and we smote him, and his sons, and all his people.

34 And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain:

Oops!  Deuteronomy!

See, you can’t bring these points up with wingnuts.  They can’t talk about them.  They refuse.  Lynn and her Lynn-nots herself once tried to convince me that Jesus was actually very free-market economy.  True!  Jesus wasn’t into welfare, according to them and when, in the space of five minutes, I could get my search terms right to get the passages I quote above, they attacked me as ignorant about what Jesus actually said.  The irony?  If they actually knew, believed and followed the Bible they should have known those verses off the top of their heads.  The four Gospels don’t tell the same stories so for three out of four to stress the rich casting off thier wealth to help the poor…that’s pretty significant.

Wingnuts cherry pick their morality and when to observe it.  They don’t have a problem telling God to go screw when it suits their agenda to do so.  “Pious Rich Christian”, according Jesus himself, is an oxymoron.   John McCain had lobbyists working for dictatorships and the wingnuts shrugged.  After all, you gotta make your money somehow, right?  Obama goes to a party where there might have been drugs and it’s proof that he’s a drug addict.  The bush family has close ties to Saudi Arabia where almost every terrorist involved in 9/11 came from and not one wingnut questions that relationship or demands to invade Saudi Arabia.  Obama sits on a board with Bill Ayers, a founding member of the Weather Underground, and Obama is consorting with terrorists.

Lynn, I know this mean nothing to you.  You probably can’t even wrap you’re mind around your own contradictions.  I’m not an Obama supporter.  I did give him $25 just to piss off Hillary, but chances are good that I will vote, not as my party, or my friends or God wants me to.  I will vote my conscience because I have a conscience.  You don’t, so you’ll vote for who you’re told to.  And against every single teaching of the Jesus you profess to love you will tirelessly work to tear down by any means necessary those who disagree with you.

Jesus might have saved you from stoning.  I wouldn’t.  I’m not Jesus.  And neither are you.

Hbee Bible, Blatant Assholes, Christians, Culture, Dobson, Navel (Gazing At), Religion, Republicana, Ridicule, Vomiting in My Mouth

If you’re a poor, uneducated white person who doesn’t want to vote for “that kind of person” then HRC wants your vote.  And if you’re planning on voting for HRC simply for that reason – if you’ll pledge to switch parties simply because “that kind of person” isn’t your kind of person then why not tell the rest of the country about it by using the ultimate American power tool – the bumper sticker

I mean, really, if you can go on national television and tell the country you’re a racist then buy a 50 pack and hand them out at church.

Go get some now!

Hbee 2008 Debacle, Blatant Assholes, General Advice, HRC, Navel (Gazing At), Political Whatever, Poor Stupid White People, Racism, Ridicule