Archive

Archive for the ‘CrossTalk’ Category

In Which I Post The Highlights From The Best Crosstalk Ever

August 9th, 2011 No comments

I’ve been off Crosstalk for awhile mostly because you can only listen to so much of this shit before I start having fantasies about playing Swimming With Sharks with Vic and the gang.

“Vic. There IS no homosexual agenda. What you claim is
the homosexual agenda was a satirical piece in a gay newspaper
that was read into the Congressional record without the pre-amble.
Say it!”

I’m not ashamed to say it. The lies and rationalizations warrant the harshest treatment imaginable. I heard a guy at an AA meeting once

If you wish good things for a person you hate for a month straight, that person at the end of them month that person will no longer be a problem to you. And it works. Usually, I wish that the person would go to Hell sooner rather than later.

A-fucking-men.

I guess it’s a sign of the times that the 8/5/11 Crosstalk stands out as the quintessential guide to xtianity. It literally shows you everything that’s wrong with this particular brand of SkyDaddy-ism.

Note: All clips are verbatim and not edited. There is one exception that I will flag. I cut out a chunk of crap for the sake of time.

Atheistic Scientists Waste Citizens Tax Dollars – Why do we bother exploring the universe when GOD created it? Three interesting things to listen for -

  1. “interesting”. Whenever a VCY host says this (and I’m pretty sure they’re trained on the proper inflection) you know that bitter, Christly sarcasm lurks just around the corner.
  2. “fiiiive yeeee-ers”. The setup for the punchline. Normal people might think, “wow! Jupiter! I wonder what that will look like?” xtians only see xtian oppression and proof America’s slow decline into Communism and race mixing.
  3. Faux-folksy chuckle – I actually admire their delivery. You can just feel the old folks sitting in their nursing home chuckling appreciatively and desperately trying to remember the joke so they can tell it to their nurse.

You Are Automatically A Member Of Whatever Group Endorses You – The Communist Party endorsed Obama so Obama is a Communist. Makes sense, right? Hagee endorsed McCain so that make McCain and anti-semite. White Pride Preacher Pastor Pete Peters endorses Jesus. That makes Jesus racist.

This is the one that is edited. I took out Jim’s recitation of the speech the godless Communist made which is all standard blah-blah and cut straight to the incitement to outrage of “get your reaction to that later in the broadcast.” News round ups need that punching up in case granny needs her memory jogged.

Taxpayers Paying For The President Doing Things That President’s Does – Whuh?? The President of the United States of America is going to travel around the country he’s the president of and talk to its citizens??? AND WE’RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT??? How fucking dare he! Spreading commie propaganda, promoting the homosexual agenda and denying the supremacy of Jesus on OUR DIME! What has this country come to?

It’s this kind of bullshit that makes me insane. As if Obama should pay for this out of his own pocket. Obama’s townhalls accept all questions. He does them completely unscripted. I believe he’s at his most powerful when he does them. All these wingnuts that say he can’t function without a teleprompter need only to watch a townhall to know that he’s actually better without it. What’s next? “OMG! Obama gets room and board at the taxpayers’ expense??”

Census Shows Gays Are Taking Over – Why bother to explain something when just stating raw facts with no context is so much more frightening? Gay households up 49% sounds like a lot…until you find out that the Census didn’t previously include gay households. Kinda puts that into perspective, huh? Which is why it’s not mentioned. The last thing you want is people feeling like the news may not be as horrific as it sounds.

Why Can’t We Teach People That Jesus Loves Blowing Shit Up? – When you need to hold a class to twist the Bible to support your agenda, there’s something wrong with your agenda.  Thus the Christian Just War Theory class (“Hey! C’mon, you pussy! It’s just war“) shouldn’t really be needed. Since the Bible is God’s inerrant word, we should all be het up and raring to wipe out the infidel Muslims, Commies, yada yada. Of course, if you’re using the King James Version (commissioned by bi-sexual King James) it’s gonna come out all wrong. Instead, use the Conservative Bible Project’s version and all becomes clear.

Laws Against Lying Aren’t Christian – The case that wingnut girls over at the Susan B. Anthony List, rather than staying home and taking care of their kids and serving their husbands the way God wants, instead descend, harpy-like, on anyone they feel isn’t anti-abortion enough. They did this to Steve Driehaus, a Democrat who voted for the Health Care bill. Even though the bill does NOT include “taxpayer funded abortion”, the girls put up billboards saying that Driehaus voted for taxpayer funded abortion. In other words, they lied. It’s what Addison DeWitt would call “a stupid lie, easily proven.”

SBA claims First Amendment rights for “criticizing a politician”. But when does outright lying become criticizing a politician? SBA, like most wingnuts, screams to what they take to be the heavens any time someone challenges them. Like Jesus, they willingly climb on the cross, dripping blood on anyone foolish enough to come to close to them. Outside of the illegality of blatantly lying about your opponet, one would think that the whole “thou shalt not bear false witness thing” would come into play. You’d be wrong.

What amazes, amuses and saddens me about Crosstalk is just how far the rabbit hole they are. They do shows on how it’s in the Koran that you’re allowed to advance Islam with seemingly no clue as to how their actions mimic those of the heathen infidels. It’s the same thing with religious supremacy. While claiming that bloodthirsty Islam won’t rest until the entire world converts to Islam, they believe that they can’t rest until the same wicked Muslims that want to convert the world to Islam convert to Christianity.

Old Chestnuts Never Die – One thing you may not understand about Crosstalk’s special brand of xtianity is their deep and abiding hatred of any physical connection between body and soul. It’s just not ok. Wicked things like “yoga” and “feelings” lead straight to the pit of Hell. I’m not kidding. They’ve done whole shows on the evils of Christian yoga which, according to them, can allow you to relax to a point where Satan can physically enter you. Basically, the moment you start feeling ok about yourself is the precise moment when you sin. Brannon Howse once said that he wakes up every morning and hates himself…so that he doesn’t sin. I would think he hates himself because he’s a lying, scumbag race-baiter, but that’s just me.

Either way, Crosstalk never misses a chance to talk about how “new-age spirituality” and the apostates who love it, will no doubt bring down “the church” if they are not stopped and not stopped NOW. It’s really the same Pavlovian trigger as “communist” and “homosexual agenda”. The image of the earthy-crunchy devil worshiper with their beads and their crystals fires up the base as much a black man being president. So when some group comes out with the 10 billion beats to cure the world the through the power of a drum circle….well…I think it’s ripe for ridicule but it’s not evil.

HEYA! Let’s go to the phones! It’s really the main reason to listen to Crosstalk. The hosts and guests rarely match the level of crazy that Brother and Sister Xtian can bring. To wit -

I’d Rather Be A Terrorist Than A Commie – Mark came loaded for bear. He had a statement and he was gonna make it, gosh darn it! It doesn’t matter that it makes no sense. He mostly likely heard it last night at the bar. Note the conditional “if I was a Tea Party member”. That’s some commitment! Note, too, how pleased Jim sounds.

How Can Obama Push The Muslim Agenda AND The Homo Agenda? – What a great question! If Obama is the devout Muslim that Shirley believes him to be, how can he push the homo agenda when Islam (just like xtianity) hates gay people? My question would be “Why don’t we ever get pictures of him bowing to Mecca?” Shouldn’t there be tons of those? Jim can’t actually answer the question so he falls back on the “Muslims can do whatever they want to advance their agenda” line, effectively saying “do you expect consistency from the wicked Nation of Islam?” The question is answered by a caller later in the program. It turns out Muslims are using the homosexuals to destroy America and, once it’s destroyed, will kill all the gays. Clever!

They Want To Make Us Give Up Our Capitalism – I love the callers that pretend they’re actually sticking to the subject when they’re going somewhere completely different. I also love callers the define “the enemy” as everyone who is not them. Thus, the New World Order consists of Jews, Muslims, gays and pretty much everyone who is not American.

Exactly how would one be forced to give up their capitalism. I was pretty sure the whole New Word Order thing was based on capitalism. Right?

Uhhhhhh…Uhhhhhh…Uhhhhhh…I’m Crazy – Why is this best Crosstalk ever? Because, almost as if by (intelligent) design, they save the best for last. Daniel probably doesn’t get to talk to too many people because he’s busy cleaning he’s guns when he’s not collecting his socialist unemployment check and/or disability. You really have to wonder about folks who listen to Crosstalk and STILL have to ask what the “Muslim bible” is called. He’s not even functional enough to remember that. And yet…there he is. Think about the construction of his statement -

Uhhhhh….Uhhh…what’s the Muslim Bible called? Right. Uhhhhh…uhhhh…Isn’t Islam bad?

But the coup d’ grace comes with “the chemicals in our food are destroying us.” Where the HELL did that come from? Perfect!

I really can’t urge you strongly enough to listen to the whole show. Completely worth it!

In Which Brannon Howse Lies Through His Teeth

June 25th, 2010 5 comments

If you’re just an ordinary person trying to scrape by and don’t ‘t have a lot of time to check things out for yourself chances are good you find your “experts” and believe whatever they say. Despite the fact that Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council has a “good friend” that hires whores to dress him up in diapers, you’ll still believe Tony Perkins when he says don’t give money to left-wing, gay, socialist politicians. Despite the fact that Rush Limbaugh called for any drug abusers to go to jail, you’ll still forgive when he abuses drugs. Are there examples on the other side? Of course there are. But since the evangelical right never acknowledges their mistakes until someone holds their feet to the fire, then why should I?

The whole basis for the evangelical right (and I’m trying very, very hard to maintain some semblance of civility right now) is “truth”.  Not just “truth” but “biblical truth”. And not just “biblical truth” but unerring “biblical truth”. According to them only one “right” exists in the world. If you even acknowledge a second option in any question then you’re practicing “moral relativism”.  And that’s bad. Really, really bad.”  In their world, big-G God has one answer and one answer only. Of course, it depends on which sect of Christianity you belong to as to what that answer is. It’s simpler to quote their philosophy with a quote from David Mamet. “The other guy’s cigar always sucks.”

It’s that philosophy that allows them to hate the rest of the world and to decry “worldly things” simply because big-G God doesn’t, in their non-morally relative view, endorse them. Thus, they can decry mega-churches “diluting” God’s word in order to put butts in the seat while begging for money to keep their radio stations on the air. To put it another way – one side makes money from the folks who say “God is love” and the other makes money off the folks who say “God will destroy those who say ‘God is love’”.

One of the best ways to make someone believe something is through humility. Let me rephrase that. One of the best ways to make someone believe something is by listing all of the sins someone else is guilty of in the greatest possible detail and then saying that you don’t do those things.

Example:

There are a lot of ministers who, once the lights come down in the 10 million dollar mega-churches built with the money bilked from useless sheep that flock to their clarion call of sedentary salvation and moral relativism, think nothing of strangling little tiny baby kittens, freshly from their mothers womb and smearing their blood all over their faces. It’s not something I would ever do. Do I sin some times? Sure. We all do. We are of the flesh. I’m not holy. How can I be? But does that mean I can’t speak out about people strangling little tiny baby kittens, freshly from their mothers womb and smearing their blood all over their faces? No. It’s important that we do.

Another way is to tell your own sheep that if you’re ever wrong, all they need to do is bring it to your attention and you’ll apologize. Something along the line of this -

Beat Up Brannon Howse

That’s pretty straight forward, right? “I make a mistake, the Christian thing to do is admit, not make the same mistake and move on.” But built in to that statement comes a paradox. You worship someone because you believe they’re infallible. If you believe they’re infallible, chances are good that 1) you’re not listening terribly close 2) if you find some inconsistency then you’re hero is no longer infallible and 3) who has the balls to spit in Superman’s face. Because of these things, Brannon Howse can make these kinds of statements with 95% certainty that his audience will quietly accept what he says with even more docility than before.

What’s implicit in that statement is that it only applies to those who agree with him. He will only apologize to those who buy into his “world view”. Everyone else can, literally, go to Hell.

Proof – Of course!

Some quick background. Religious conservative and wingnuts in general love to point to Obama’s use of “czars” as proof that he’s really a communist.  In this paradigm, everyone who’s ever taken a bath is a Christian because you dunk yourself in water. The shell game works like this:

  • Russia had czars
  • The communists were Russians
  • Communism is bad
  • Czars are Communists

I’m not making that up.

Of course, the Communists overthrew the Czars. That makes Obama’s czars…um…not Communist.

Given this shockingly true information, a fair, thinking person would have to admit that the whole “czar” thing makes no sense at all. Right?

Wrong.

Did that sound like any kind of an apology? Did that sound like a man humbling himself before the truth? Or did that sound like a man struggling to maintain his hold on a lie that’s a central part of his hate?

Personally, I think the latter. Of course, as a moral relativist, I could be wrong

PS – Let’s see how legalistic his defense and/or defenders get. Legalism, btw, is also a bad thing. It’s either right or wrong and God decides.

In Which Mat Staver Is Missing More Than A T

March 28th, 2010 No comments

I was going to try to work up a head of steam on this but, ya know, it pretty much speaks for itself.

Vic Eliason – Professional Fucktard

Mat Staver – Professional Fucktard

In Which I Give You An Added Bonus!

January 3rd, 2010 No comments

While I’m going through Crosstalks, yanking audio, it’s worthwhile posting a few of the latest of the Back To Genesis series from The Institute For Creation Research. Their tag line is “Biblical. Accurate. Certain.”

“Certain”?

That’s one of those words that I use when I’m sure of something.

“I’m certain that I chanted ‘Hail Chucky’ three times before I put the chicken foot on my head….didn’t I?”

I don’t mean to get into my personal life.

I really wish they would podcast this series. Instead, they stick it in at the 20min break of Crosstalk so you have to edit them into their own file.  Perhaps that’s the point. If the rest of the nation heard what utter foolishness Creation “scientists” try to pawn off as fact, the series would shoot to number one on the comedy podcast list.

Lately, they’ve switched from talking about earthly matters such as how man couldn’t have come from monkeys

Proof Of Creationism – Man Can’t Swing From Trees

And proving that Noah’s Ark could have held two of everything

Noah’s Secret? Dinosaur EGGS!

BTW, BTG can’t even stay consistent within itself. “Dozens of horses”? Um. You’d only need two, right?

To heavenly matters such as solar eclipses

And…Um…God Made It

And how there is no fucking way that Jesus will walk on the Moon.

Fuck The Sun! God Loves The Earth More!

I wouldn’t go so far as to say they’ve jumped the shark, but they’re certainly running out of material. As my friend, Kevin Harrington, pointed out, “It’s kinda like they’re saying ‘here’s a bunch of information and, btw, God made the world.”

And, because I can’t seem to stop, here’s one of my top three

Noah’s Elves

See, the Bible is the inerrant word of God, right? It’s the history of the world and how God made it. So, just because God spends entire chapters on on geneology and sacrifices made unto doesn’t mean that everything is in there. Just because it doesn’t talk about Noah sub-contracting some of the ark construction to outside firms doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Got it?

Neither do I.

In Which Giving Your Life To Christ Doesn’t Make You An xtian

January 3rd, 2010 1 comment

Xtians want you to believe that if only the Muslim president converted to xtianity, everything would be ok. He’d understand that Jesus would waterboard terrorists before putting two Godly bullets through their skulls. He’d get that personally killing pre-borns contradicts God’s laws. Jesus would lead him to the founding of the American theocracy that God created America for.

You see, they’re not hateful. They want the best for the other 80% of the population that is not totally fucking insane. All they want is for the rest of us to understand that America needs to be saved before God can destroy it in the Armageddon.

But.

Converting to xtianity is not enough.

Apparently, Jesus doesn’t always save. It’s so confusing. Once upon a time, you turned your life over to Jesus and, BOOM, that was that. Past sins forgiven, milk and honey at the signing of the death certificate, moral clarity – in short, you, like the folks at Crosstalk, got a pre-approved ticket to Heaven. Guess not.

I’m not sure who gets to change the rules, but all signs point to Vic Eliason. Vic decided that just being xtian isn’t enough. Thus, even if President Obama converted to xtianity Vic still wouldn’t support him.

There’s really only one way that this works – Jesus can’t forgive all sins. If, after dedicating your life to Christ, your earthly judges (Vic, Jim and Ingrid, I guess) still find your soul tainted and wicked, then Jesus didn’t do His job very well.

Ok. I lied.  There’s another way it works. It works if Vic, Jim and Ingrid hold themselves pridefully above the rest of humanity in some special xtian skybox halfway between Heaven and Earth set up as Jesus’ hallway monitors. I’m a little rusty on my bible passages, but I’m sure they can tell me which chapter and verse gives them authority to judge the strength of someone’s faith.

Vic? Ingrid? Jim? Bueller?

Help me out, here.

Jesus Doesn’t Save

Caller: [I was asked] What if Obama had a conversion and got saved and became a Christian, what would your response be and my response sadly was, man, I’d start praying for him and asking God to protect him…

Sadly? Really? You’d be sad about an enemy of America converting from the dark side to the light side? I could have sworn that the a lost lamb coming back to the flock meant rejoicing. Boy! What a dumbass I am! It’s actually cause for regret and suspicion.

Still, Vic, as God’s Hallway Monitor, explains, after a conversion, it gets kicked up the chain of command to Vic, Jim and Ingrid. Only after they sign off on the new recruit, does God make the final judgment.  And, really, how can anyone know what God thinks. Maybe, Vic hints, God would kill the newly xtian Obama just to teach him a lesson.

Because, as stated earlier, Jesus can’t absolve all sins. Especially the sins of Socialism, Communism, Fascism, Saul Alinksy-ism and all those poor pre-borns that, had they been born, would have saved the Social Security system.

http://www.rnclife.org/faxnotes/2005/jan05/05-01-14.html

In Which CrossTalk Comedy Writes Itself

December 13th, 2009 No comments

The funny thing about Crosstalk is that you can spend 5000 words writing about it and still not do as good a job exposing them as hypocrites as they do themselves.

Matt Barber of oddly name Liberty Council came on the show NOT to bash gay people but to show how much xtians love them.  He did so by condemning gay people as violent, spittle spewing sinners possessed by demons.

Spittle Spewing Homos

The love continued with examples of how violent gay people stormed a church and…didn’t really hurt anybody.  Except the kids.  Who had to look at gay people.  And, I guess, all the closeted gays and lesbians mooning over the HOTT gay activists.

Violent Homos…That Don’t Hit People

And in the coup d’ grace (pretty gay phrase, huh?), Barber slits his own throat by blatantly laying all of his cards on the table.

HAHAHA!

Early in the program, my youngest daughter, sitting in bed, playing games on my iPod and listening, asked me, “how can you listen to this stuff??” By the last clip she was howling with laughter and derision.  Just as she should.

Never say I’m not a good dad! *laffin*

In Which Dialog Is A One-Way Dynamic

December 7th, 2009 3 comments

Crosstalk America is not a religious show.  Anyone who listens to even the smallest snippet of it should come to that conclusion.  The show is about dogma and fear.  What little religion that pokes its head up from the slimy depths of the studio serves only to enforce the hatred du jour.  When hosting, Vic Eliason, the head brown-shirt, acts as grandpa with a tri-cornered blade and  basement full of crosses marking the graves of the sinners he correctly garroted in the name of Jesus.

Vic cannot have an honest debate.  When backed into a corner and called on his bullshit he defaults to the following steps

  1. The caller makes their point
  2. Vic tries to spin it
  3. The caller begins to push back
  4. Vic interrupts the caller in his folksy fashion to play the “we’re having a dialog” card
  5. The caller, annoyed about the interruption, continues to try to have the dialog that Vic just effectively ended
  6. Vic, the taste of blood and victory in his mouth, terminates the call, blaming the victim for his own rudeness in interrupting.
  7. He then laments that “some people” (code word the un-godly) care nothing about “dialog” and only call to push their evil agenda.

Of course, no mention of their own agenda makes it into that statement.  This happens over and over on the show and I’ve talked about it before.  What makes this clip different comes during the sermonette at the end.

Three things to listen for -

The first is the word “filibuster”.  During the bush years, filibuster meant evil.  It’s what “lie-berals” did to hold up the nomination of racist, though xtian, judges.  It’s what “dumbo-crats” used to attempt block legislation to stop funding of the effective program of giving condoms to countries with high rates of HIV in favor of the ineffective program of abstinence only.  Now, with the advent of socialist health and the destruction of America (TM), “filibuster” is a good word again.  Vic’s negative use of the word points up the bastardization of the language and the adaptability of true believers to switch contexts at the drop of the hat.  It’s a nice little Pavlovian trick. I don’t mean to imply that my side of the fence doesn’t do the same thing – but Vic’s mastery of verbal cues approaches evil brilliance.

The second points out the de-facto fascism of the show. “I happen to be the person that holds the control here.” Pretty straight forward – disagree with me and break my arbitrary decisions as to how much dialog I allow you and you’re gone.  Doing radio myself, though, this is more of a slip than it sounds like. The point he wanted to make was his fingers decide whether or not he’ll allow you to speak.  As such, he works the “controls”. In switching from the proper plural use to the singular use implying action, rather then object, he betrays his true agenda – xtian Stalinism

The third illustrates the basic hypocrisy of Crosstalk America – “We’re not going to let you abuse the program just because you want to be rude”. Really? Listen to the call again.

Vic: …Wouldn’t you agree that that’s a problem?

Caller: But that’s the way it’s always been…

Vic: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait a minute Maria. Take a breath. We’re going to have some dialog…

After the break, Vic turns on the condescension, explaining to Maria, whose call has been terminate, the rules of dialog. “I wish Maria had stayed on the line because we could have had dialog. Which means you make a statement, take a breath and let someone respond.” Obviously, Vic doesn’t have to play by his own rules.  He made a statement (to which Maria respectfully listened), asked a question and then cut off her response.

In the eyes of Crosstalk America, Jesus, apparently, was a passive-aggressive hypocrite.

Shut Up – We’re Having A Dialog And You Kept Talking

PS: If you’re new to the horror that is Crosstalk America, this show acts as a perfect primer, containing all the wingnuts talking points including the old “let’s stop blaming bush’s incompetence for state we’re in. After all, Obama promised to fix everything right away and we’ve successfully stopped him from doing that.” As an added bonus, you’ll get “Obama kind of sent more troops to Afghanistan and kinda listened to the generals BUT HE DIDN’T DO IT WHEN WE TOLD HIM TO SO HE IS EVIL” meme.

In Which Joseph Farrah, Jim Schneider, Vic Eliason, Brannon Howse and Ingrid Slueter May Rape Puppies

August 11th, 2009 4 comments

First off, I have no idea if they do or not.  I can’t see into their souls or know what they do when no one is looking.  And if it’s true, I’m sure they wouldn’t want anyone to see the kind of shocking immorality personified by having forced sex with little tiny dogs.  One wonders how you would go about such a thing.  Would you have to tie them down?  Would you drug them first so they were docile?  I really can’t answer these questions.  No can know for certain if the founder of World Net Daily and the on-air staff of Crosstalk America, a Christian radio talk show, engage in the kind of acts that Jesus would most certainly frown on.  But no one can rule it out, either.

Can they?

After all, the halls of Christian broadcasting lie littered with the remains of the fallen – Baker, Swaggart, Haggard – you know who they are.  Circumstantial evidence would suggest that if you make your living broadcasting your love of Jesus that there’s a high probability that you hide some deep, filthy secret that at some point in time will come out.

To be clear – I’m not accusing them of sadistically and brutally violating cute, fluffy, innocent, cuddly puppy dogs for base, sick, sexual gratification.  I said up front – I don’t know if they do.

Still, I call upon them to devote a segment of Crosstalk America to address these possibly damaging allegations – to give them to proper airing and vetting that they demand of…say…the President of the United States.

You see, Crosstalk isn’t actually a Christian radio show.  I used to give them benefit of the doubt.  No longer.  They morphed into a political extremist group singularly focused on overthrowing the American government and replacing it with a theocracy similar to that of Iran.

When you allow so-called “journalist” Joseph Farrah to spout the most irresponsible lies and half truths about the President of the United States, you have left the realm of humanity.  And, as Crosstalk will tell you, once your morals go, anything is possible – even puppy fucking.

Here are few of the myriad pieces of filth that Farrah spews

  • There’s evidence that Obama’s grandmother is his mother
  • Obama may not actually know his true relationship to his family
  • Obama probably did not write either of his books
  • Maybe it’s a co-incidence that Hillary Clinton “who’s in succession for the Presidency” just happened to travel to Kenya
  • Farrah will not trust the Director Of Public Health’s confirmation of Obama birth certificate – he needs to see it himself
  • Every Kenyan believes that Obama was born there and that should be proof enough that he was

I’m trying think of another time in which a political figure was accused of not being the mother of her baby and people condemned the rumor as baseless and proof of how low the political process had sunk.

Oh yeah.  Sarah Palin. To even suggest impropriety in that case got the torches of the religious right burning and the nooses looped.  Of course, it wasn’t up them to prove that it wasn’t true.  The accusers had to prove it was true.  Sarah was too demure to get her feet dirty answering such spurious charges.

So, Crosstalk Staff, where the hell do you come off insisting that the President of the United States respond to shit that you fling at him?  Really – is this the biblical way to act?  Does Jesus condone the kinds of lies and whispering that you give voice to?  Is your faith in God so weak that you will not trust in God’s plan for us? Do you honestly believ that it is incumbent on YOU to bring down a democratically elected official?  Do  you hate America that much?

Once more, I have no proof whatsoever that Farrah and the staff of Crosstalk are anything other than garden variety hypocrites whose zeal causes them to forget the teachings of the God they profess to believe in.  Apparently, though, you don’t need proof to make conditional statements – “they may,”they might”, “it’s possible”, “evidence leads me to believe that”, “it’s within the realm of possiblity.”

Thus, I call on Joseph Farrah, Jim Schneider, Vic Eliason, Brannon Howse and Ingrid Slueter to take to the airwaves and spend the hour assuring me, personally, that, despite baseless claims to the contrary, they do not rape puppies.  Furthermore, they need to take calls from the listeners – I’m sure they’ll have some questions.

Note: I have never understood those who said they felt physically sick listening to something.  I know do.  I literally almost threw up listening to this show.

In Which The Right Has Poor…Um…Control

May 27th, 2009 No comments

What’s in a name?  Kind of a lot, really.  Especially when you hold yourself up as a beacon of truth and justice.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made the mistake before.  In fact, I’m horrible with names.  For the longest time I was calling “David” “Keith” and I could only picture a friend of my wife’s as a blonde when she’s really a brunette.  So, perhaps I’m not really the one that should be talking about this.

But, then again, I’m not trying to bring down a Supreme Court nominee, either.

So when Mike “Mr. Bitter” Huckabee finds himself with such a massive erection over the nomination of “Maria Sotomayor” that he shoots first and apologizes later you have wonder if Mrs. Huckabee lives in a state of, shall we say, constant frustration.  See, “Maria” is a Mexican name and she’s a Mexican.  ALL Mexican are named Maria.  Makes perfect sense…if you’re a mindless fucktard with a BA in racism from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and you raised a son that kills dogs.  It’s an honest mistake to make for an xtian conservative to make.

Crosstalk America jumped on the bash-the-SCOTUS-nominee bandwagon, too, of course.  Apparently NOT legislating from the bench is just as bad a legislating from the bench.  So if the laws of New Haven, CT say a firefighter’s test is discrimatory and needs to be thrown out and the judge affirms the law – well, what does that say about how she’ll do on Roe v. Wade?  Despite the fact that she appears to have a balanced record when deciding cases.

A few shows ago, Vic and Jim chided the listeners for not doing their homework.  Apparently, too many xtians got the “Hate Crime” law mixed up with the “Hate Speech” law (xtian code for the Fairness Doctrine) and kept calling VCY for clarification like they were some kind of helpful experts or something.  To paraphrase – “We report – you decry.  If you’re too stupid to figure it out you deserve to listen to our show.”

Anywho – they, like Huckabee, rather than bother to check the name of the nominee they just called her whatever the felt like.  Maybe Jesus needed his hearing aid adjusted because they got her name wrong, too.

Perhaps America will get lucky and hundreds of thousands of xtians will call their senators telling them not to confirm Maria Solomayor and Sonia Sotomayor will sail right through.

There are so many better bloggers who can write from personal experience about how the political establishment still can’t come to grips with non-white Americans in the political system.  Anything I could say would just be a paraphrase of them so check out

Culture Kitchen

Jack and Jill Politics

The one point to bring up, though, is that non-whites are finally getting credit and recognition for what whites keep insisting they do – pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  Think back, for instance, the biography of Bill Clinton:  A poor kid that grew up in poverty, worked hard and became the President of the United States.  Inspiring, right?  Let’s start having the same sense of awe and appreciation for those who not only overcame poverty but a system that consistently favored whites over minorities.  Wingnuts love to go on and on about the evil of quotas.  They need to learn how to praise someone when they deserve praise rather drop back to their default position of “white makes right”.

In Which I Didn’t Know They Had Integrity

May 19th, 2009 No comments

I totally forgot about one of my new favorite sound clip from Crosstalk.  I have to admit that I don’t listen every day because I’m too busy worshipping Satan and searching for new commandments to break – I mean, it seems like there’s a whole lot more than ten out there.  Anywho – somebody must have done some pretty good trolling because all of the sudden the policy on calling in changed.  No longer will they pick up any old call, no, no – you must have a valid caller ID or they won’t even pick up.

Vic Explains The New Policy

YOIKS!

My favorite part is “the integrity of this show depends upon it.”  Whuh?  Integrity?  Vic, you’re “integrity” is, for lack of a better word, shit.  Especially since you spent a fair amount of the first part of the show riffing on some black helicopter World Net Daily “article” about how the 2010 census is using GPS to map people’s front doors and how GPS was used in the Iraq to send missles through windows.  Of course, you assured people, you weren’t saying the government was planning on killing Americans.  Not American forces, at least, since Obama was “decimating” the military.  But if some force decided to invade America and had to locate a certain house, they probably wouldn’t know English and would have to rely on GPS to figure it out.  And since Obama had mapped all of the houses with GPS then what makes you think that he wasn’t working for…well…no need to say more.  As any lawyer knows, you don’t have to explicitly say what you mean to inflict damage.

Yes, Vic, among the sane and thoughtful, you’re integrity is like Ted Haggard’s butt – stretched and lax.  Remember that time you had the conversation with the guy that said that since homosexuals were immoral they couldn’t feel remorse and therefor could kill anyone they wanted to and not care?  A person of integrity would have at least challenged such insanity.  You didn’t.  A person of integrity wouldn’t allow a host like Ingrid to knowingly let a caller rewrite history

John Lennon Killed Immediately After The Bigger Than Jesus Statement

Rather, your integrity is like honor among thieves – it sounds good but it’s just not true.  They’re still thieves and by any objective standard, you still lie and, worse, enable others to lie through your silence.