Yes, I am Al Pacino in the The Godfather III – Maybe She Can Direct, Instead.
Really. I tried to leave all the Natalee Holloway stuff behind. After Blogs For Natalee (as if the topic could sustain more than one) blocked my IP address, I jumped right back on via anonymous proxy and began typing a reponse sharper than the teeth of a shark chomping down on a coed’s torso. But then, something happened. As the keyboard clacked away, I head a voice. The voice of my mother. (She’s not dead or anything…nothing mystical like that.) And her voice said to me, as it so often did during my childhood, “Paul, honey, how many times must I tell you this? Never make fun of the retarded unless there’s a HUGE payoff at the end of it. You won’t change their minds because they’re incapable of understanding it. You’re only doing this for your own self-gratification so you might as well jerk off instead. And don’t look at me like. I do your laundry.”
And, after much self-examination and a vague, Freudian sense of shame, I closed my web broswer and went to bed, resolved to let it go once and for all. Sure, it came up every now and again. I rented Jaws, Jaws II and Jaws III 3D and laughed all the way through them. For a few days I mispelled -ly words with -lee. I listened to a lot of Sterling Holloway and Conway Twitty records. Bit by bit, the whole thing slowly digested inside of me, absorbing into my blood stream and eventually expelling from my body.
And then just as my life got back on track THIS shows up in my inbox.
Please copy and paste the below message into your email and send to all in your address book.
This mass email was written by Forum member Aristotle. Please sign the bottom of the petition before you send it on. Be sure to copy the addresses to the cc: addresses before you forward….
Thank You… Debbie
————————————————————————————-
We are writing as concerned citizens, from many countries, to DEMAND a proper investigation into the disappearance of Natalee Holloway and the Arubian Government’s handling of her case. She could have been any one of us, our daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, or children. NO family should be denied a proper investigation into the disappearance of a loved one. Aruba proclaimed that it had “no crime” early on, so it is clear they do not possess the capabilities to properly investigate this case. Yet, despite these proclamations, it refused to accept the helping hands of the FBI and other investigative teams. This is NOT just about Justice for an American, this is about INJUSTICE to ANY tourists and their families.
We DEMAND to know WHY. What is it that Aruba has to hide? Now they state that Aruba will STOP the investigation in January if there is no new evidence, while stating that police stopped looking after Karin Janssen was investigated. So how will they find this new evidence if they are not looking? And what are the test results on the evidence that has been handed over but is sitting on a shelf at the police department. Rumors on the island state that the police are corrupt and know what happened. Who is going to investigate them? WHEN, will Vanderstraaten be questioned? When will the boys and Paulus be interrogated by trained investigators who know how to ask follow up questions? When will Steve Croes be asked to tell the truth?
HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HAVE TO GO MISSING BEFORE SOMEONE REALIZES THERE MAY BE A PROBLEM?
WHEN will the other states in the United States follow suit and join the boycott to show support for a missing girl who could have been from ANY state? When will other countries follow in suit to show support? HEAR US NOW, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.
You can sit and do NOTHING or you can affix your name to this email and forward it on so that one day YOU can vacation and have confidence in knowing that if YOU were MISSING we’d look for YOU too. Let our governments demand answers or boycott.
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, we the people whom you represent command you to reach within your souls and further our cause. DEMAND ANSWERS OR BOYCOTT.
Please sign below by typing your name and forward this to ALL of your friends and family who you would hate to see have to experience this horrific display of INJUSTICE. At the same time, please cc this HOOFDOFFICER@OMARUBA.AW and vice_president@whitehouse.gov and comments@whitehouse.gov so that the Aruban government and US government, (add your own country’s government) will hear our plea.
We thank you for your support and urge you to DEMAND TRUTH and RESPECT.
Luckily, anonymous proxies are a dime a dozen.
Administratively, banning someone’s IP address only does half the job. You should also delete their account AND their email address from your database. Otherwise, you wind up sending the cutest emails (HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE HAVE TO GO MISSING BEFORE SOMEONE REALIZES THERE MAY BE A PROBLEM? – as if millions of other weathly, drunken prom queens go missing in Aruba every month) to the wrong people. And then they get cranky and find an anonymous proxy server that allows them to post snarky, though non-profanity laced, comments such as this one.
“This is NOT just about Justice for an American, this is about INJUSTICE to ANY tourists and their families.”
YES! For God’s sake! Too many Americans stay at home, pale and frightened, afraid to take a vacation to Aruba! Americans have a right to drink umbrella drinks delivered by cheerfull smiling colored people and not feel afraid! Dear God, please help us solve this case so that Americans can once again send their children on drunken, sex-filled vacation without fear!
Sorry. I honestly never meant to come back.
Gotta run. The US Military is spying on me without my knowledge. Compared to the Natalee thing, I know that’s pretty unimportant. I’m selfish that way.
Hbee Fuck Beth Holloway Twitty