Archive for the ‘The New Pledge’ Category

In Which I Need YOU To Help The Teabaggers Write A New Pledge

January 9th, 2010 No comments

Oh my.

Apparently, the current Pledge of Allegiance leaves great big holes for “the libs, fools, and enemies” to walk right in and pervert the true meaning of America.

Dear Friends and Patriots.

For all my life I have proudly said the Pledge of Alligence to the flag. Perhaps WE can do better. The Flag is a symbol of our union and our identity. Unfortunately I believe it is NOT a pledge to the US Constitution and I think THAT is needed. Therefore I would like to submit this following PLEDGE OF ALLIGIANCE TO THE CONSTITUTION. In my not so elequent way I submit the following, encourage it’s development and debate.

I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the Union of Independent American States,
and to the Republic which it defines, establishes, and preserves,
One Nation, under God.
Indivisible and dedicated to Liberty and Justice for all.

What do you all think? Good Idea? Please contribute any re-writes. I encourage debate and I truly believe we need an oath that will seperate those of us who truly stand for that great Constitution and then the rest of the libs, fools, and enemies of it who are just taking up space and wasting MY air who will and do not support it. I think the Constitution is the one common and overiding concept behind TPN.

Personally, I think it’s a GREAT idea.  The logic is flawless: re-writing the Pledge of Allegiance will separate the patriots from the commies and…um…and…see, once we know who’s who we can…ya know…do stuff.

Reply by Chris Fa. 1 day ago
Good idea but what happens if an amendment to the constitution is passed? Would we be automatically against that amendment because it changes the constitution to which we are pledging our allegiance?

Buck Turgidson Permalink Reply by Buck Turgidson 1 day ago
Chris, the Constitution is made so that the american people can add amendments. Otherwise this country would be overrun by communists.

Chris Fa. Permalink Reply by Chris Fa. 1 day ago
Good point, Buck. I sorta forgot about that. Been a while since US History… Anyway I think that new pledge is ok as it stands, but we might want to change the end of it to “liberty and justice for all CITIZENS” so we don’t give terrorists rights, you know?

joane golub Permalink Reply by joane golub 1 day ago
yes. the commie people and the libs.

I encourage you all to help out the teabaggers by posting your edits or original re-workings of the Pledge of Allegiance! Post them in comments!

Bonus Points: Can you spot the troll?





This is one of the more amusing aspects of trolling: References to names that your victims most likely don’t know. In this case, it’s Buck Turgidson, the commie hating, war-room fighting, mine-shaft-gap-admonishing General from Dr. Stranglove.