I’m not going to say I’m done because 1) I’ve already said that and 2) I may find a reason to dust him off in the future. But BBN no longer matters to me. As I’ve said before, this is 95% on me. I”m just not a hustler. It’s also just not a commercially viable character, as least as I envision it. The chances of making anything happen even as Fox News and Brietbart get more and more defacto racist approach infinity. Bottom line – when you have a “fan base” of 5000 and you can’t even raise $40/mo to pay for a Blog Talk Radio show that pulled in 1000 offline listens per show, you have to step back and go for a straight cost/benefit analysis. Which takes about 5 seconds to complete.
It’s not a reflection on my talent. I’m confident in that. It’s more about feeling tired of banging my head against a wall. I dislike comedy clubs for the most part. I don’t like hanging around and making idle chatter with people whose comedy sucks.
There was a comic who honestly, honestly sucked. Simply not funny. But he showed up almost every night to the club and sucked up to the owner and, viola, he’s made “comic of the month”. I ran the website for the same club and dutifully helped put chairs and tables away after my gigs and had to beg for stage time.
A comic told me, “you want everything handed to you.” And, to be honest, I guess there’s a certain aspect to that. However, if you go by Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours thing, I put in my time. The problem is – I don’t boast about it. I wrote and produced a one-minute podcast Monday-Friday for more than a year on Shelley The Republican. I’ve also done more than 600 hour long radio shows, 212 videos and a couple dozen songs. The body of work is not insubstantial. Oh, I almost forgot the punchline – I had this comic on my radio show twice. This same comic never once asked me to be on the show he booked.
The writing on the wall came the day I was asked to do a free show because it was Halloween and the booker was trying to come up with comics who wore costumes.
It’s not that I haven’t done favors for people. I just did them for the wrong reason – aka: I didn’t do them to call them back in. They were gestures of friendship, which, if anything, shows that I suck at choosing friends.
So, what’s next?
For the moment, I’m happy as part of a collective of people, like me, who don’t fit the mold and want to do something different. I’m not going to gain any wealth or fame from it. There’s not a chance of that. We all work together in a way that comic’s simply can’t do. It’s truly a hobby in a way that, sadly, I can’t look at BBN as.
Lastly, if you ever sent a couple of bucks to paypal or bought the CD, thank you. You are the reason it went as long as it did. Without the love of people who chipped in, even once, I would have folded up a long time ago.
If you ever typed the word “genius” or “brilliant” and never bothered to contribute – fuck you.